Has it really been that long?!

Wow!

I haven't been on this blog in a year and a half. So much has happened in this span of time. I am profoundly happy to say that my walk with Jesus has deepened significantly. So many things have changed.

Its funny in April 2011 one year after my last post I resigned from my J O B in corporate America to pursue a life as an entrepreneur. God had placed in me then confirmed multiple times that his design for my life was to work for him and me, not to work for a company. its a lot like my favorite verse in Isaiah (40:31)

"Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles"

That is exactly how it felt to take the risk of soaring into God's arms rather than relying on my own abilities. Perhaps you have seen the trust fall. The exercise where you close your eyes cross your arms and fall backward into the arms of a team of people. That was me falling into his arms ignoring the advice and wisdom of the world.

I set a new career goal.

To be confident in my dependance on God to provide.

A cool yet scary goal

While it has not been easy and there have been some stressful uncertain times, while the workload is double what it was in corporate america it is worth it simply to know that God has my back, he has my finances, he cares for me he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Praise God

Amen

Anticipation

Last week I was faced with a delicious opportunity; sacrifice. I was encouraged to take part in a church wide activity to draw closer to our heavenly father. Imagine several thousand believers all denying themselves in a form of personal worship to our savior. As I entered into this time I had a joy in my heart I had never before experienced. It was anticipation of something remarkable.

It is very much like my favorite verse of the bible Isaiah 40:31

“those that wait upon the lord with renew their strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles.”

The only thing is, as the week progressed each day I felt weaker. I would get short tempered, light headed, irritable. All these negative things yet each moment I experienced negativity I would pray. It is hard to describe the comfort I felt in these moments. It is what baby must experience in its mothers womb. There is a sense of a warm liquid enveloping you. You feel perfect contentment, perfect comfort and capture. You are secure. You know no pain, loneliness, fear, hunger or temptation. You are cared for, you are loved you are connected. This week I felt like this in God. Each moment of panicky desperation I would cry out to God in prayer and my father would answer. He would wrap me up in an embrace a supernatural embrace.

The devil prowled around the edges always looking for an angle of attack. A lustful thought here, an angry frustrated thought there. Yet he had no entry point. God was my rock and my protection. He would allow no attack to succeed. For five days I denied myself and God showed up so powerfully. He showed up in prayer comforting my soul, he showed up in a warm sunshine of a fading California afternoon. He showed up in a light breeze, in a business meeting going better than could be hoped for. He showed up in a confrontation that turned into peace. He showed up in worship and in love. He showed up in my children’s eyes as they watched their Dad sacrifice all week.

God showed up.

He renewed my strength.

He taught me a lesson I will never forget. Last post I wrote about how the end of our breath is the start of his. This week he showed me how it would work. All week I fasted. All week I was hungry. My body rebelled; my mind picked up its game everything in me save my soul fought against me. My flesh wanted me to live the lie of the world. The flesh is in control. You must eat, you must obey. You must be human. This lie, so cleverly disguised.

"It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' Matthew 4:4

This week I learned that no matter where we are in life we can cry out to God and he will answer. He will comfort, he will show up. When we reach the end of our self he will be there. He is our guide, our leader, our salvation our everything.

What an awesome lesson.

Yesterday after five hungry frustrating days my small group attended a church wide night of worship and prayer. We were there for the first two hours praising and praying.

The Lord is in the house!

No question. As I prayed I had a clear sense that the Holy Spirit had come upon me. He was in my prayer. What power, what an awesome God.

So the week ended. A week of sacrifice, a week of obedience a week of worship. Wow. What absolute joy, what revelation what an awesome God.

I cannot wait to do this again!

Father

I have no words, only the longing of my heart for you

Praise you

Merry Christmas Everyone

Merry Christmas

Last week I shared how difficult it is for me to enjoy the Christmas season. I am excited to share that this year was different. For all the reasons I cited in the past two posts I took steps to change. I made what gift giving I did engage in meaningful and specific. I spent time quality with my family but most of all Christ was in the center of our Christmas.

Christmas Eve was spent in worship with close friends at our church. The “carols” were powerful and focused on Christ’s entry into our world and the providence he represents. They were so powerful I found myself swept up into the worship of the moment praising our heavenly father. Christmas morning was spent first in scripture Isaiah 7:14, 9:6-7, 53:2-6, Luke 2:1-7 this was followed by earnest prayers by my children. Rather conveniently our pastor had made a point of sharing these verses and placing them in a prominent place in our bulletin. Not like an answer to prayer to earnestly seek to start Christmas morning in the bible… Nah!

The best part of the day was watching the emotion of my wife as she opened the gifts I had carefully selected for her. What a joy! A great day in the loving embrace of family. At the end of the day I realized I had not yet listened to my daily bible reading courtesy of Brian Hardin at the Daily Audio Bible. As I listened to Nehemiah, Revelation, the Psalms and Proverbs, it was if being wrapped in a warm loving Godly hug. As the bible readings ended I played Chris Tomlin for a while and had my own private worship session as I slipped off to sleep.

Merry Christmas everyone

Ron

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, your soul

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31

If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you have no doubt heard this well known verse. It echoes through the halls and rafters of churches throughout the world. After the great commission and John 3:16 this has got to be the most famous of verses in the bible. Yet for all the time I have known this verse its meaning has always seemed so obvious to me. That is until about 5 weeks ago when our pastor used it in discussing authentic Christian relationships.

Maybe you already get this, but in the past I looked at this verse and saw the instruction to love God and to love your neighbor only. The neighbor part can be difficult at times especially when someone wrongs you, but the message is clear. Love your neighbor anyway. In fact there is another verse that says very clearly to treat your enemy with kindness, no mistaking the instruction right?

Well there was a nuance in the words that our pastor pointed out which was not previously clear. Love your neighbor how? Love them as yourself? WOW!

Do you love yourself?

In my last post I mentioned that I was going to pray about why I struggle with Christmas. The Lord very clearly gave me this verse as an answer to my prayer. I will explain.

What exactly does it mean to love yourself in a Christian context?

Do you accept yourself for who you are? Do you wish you were taller, better looking, richer, more eloquent, more healthy, less lonely?

At various times in my life I have struggled with some of these. As a leader I know that physical appearance inexplicably matters. To be six foot instead of five foot ten, to be charismatic and energetic in a room of strangers. I would be lying if I said I did not sometimes want this. To not have to deal with the uncertainty of life and be financially secure wouldn’t that relieve some stress. Heck I have always dreamed of being a professional hockey player too, lets through that old bone in!

These wants and dreams are not who I am in Christ. My heavenly father made me in his own image, he knew me before I was born. He had plans for me!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Who am I to imply through selfish desire that the Lord’s design for me is imperfect? An arrogant ungrateful ignorant fool perhaps. Who am I not to embrace who he made me? Who am I not to discover who I am in Christ and live it for all I am worth? Who am I to selfishly consider myself over his creation?

Well who am I? I am a child of the most high God, created in his own image, designed for a purpose, made to love and worship my heavenly father, made to serve his people. As I have discovered and grown in the gifts he has bestowed upon me, I have learned not only to accept myself for whom I am but to marvel at how wonderfully the Lord put me together for his purpose in my life. The closer I get to his purpose in my life the more joy I feel in my being.

So I accept myself but Love?

Well yes it gets a bit complicated here for me. Emotion and empathy are not my strong suit, yet the Lord has been growing these in me steadily. I have come to embrace who I am and find joy in being who I was made to be. The more joy I feel the stronger the positive emotions I feel about myself.

There is another side to this though. I have come to see where I am weak, where I am challenged. While I still dislike these aspects of myself, in the past there was shame, disgust, embarrassment and many other negative emotions. The Lord has revealed to me that the areas I am weak, the areas I struggle, they too have a purpose. When I hear of someone who fails publicly in areas I struggle I have empathy not judgment and condemnation. I have a strong desire to minister to others and love them because of my struggles not in spite of them.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

In some small way I think this is similar to what Christ did for us. I believe we are called to take on the burdens of others, to help them through their pain, just as Isaiah prophesied Jesus would.

Forgiveness

A key piece of this love puzzle is this concept of forgiveness. We cannot truly love ourselves and hate ourselves at the same time. So when we behave in some way that contradicts who we are we must confess it to the Lord to receive his forgiveness and we must forgive ourselves also. After all our sin was nailed to the cross of our savior, who are we not to forgive ourselves.

So I have learned to love myself. I accept who I am, I embrace God’s gifts in me, I use my weakness for God, and I forgive myself.

When I live this model well my ability to love others increases and my desire to spend time with others also increases. When I stumble the exact opposite happens, I detach and desire distance from others.

Christmas

When I was a boy the real meaning of Christmas was a mystery to me. My focus at the time was on the presents, I am not proud of this, embarrassed actually. The thing is I knew the Christmas story early on, it was told each year in mass. The story never came to life for me though; it was simply an elongated gospel reading that prolonged the time away from my new toys and stuff. As I grew the story did not change much. It always seemed that the commercial aspect of Christmas trumped the spiritual but then I had an unstable foundation. In the renaissance of my faith I have a strong yearning to connect with Christ, to put him in his rightful place at the center of Christmas.

So you see there are significant forces that always seem to steal the joy of Christmas. (Or said more correctly there are forces that I allow to interfere with my Christmas experience. I am responsible here, no victims allowed!) First my own weak sense of experience in a joyful meaningful Christmas and second my tendency to withdraw when faced with parts of me I don’t like. So each year I enter into the season as a broken record hoping for a better result and unclear how to change the experience. The result: yet another disappointing Christmas.

It is often said the first step in learning is to become aware of what we previously could not see. Is the greatest commandment the answer to a joyful Christmas? Yes I think so. I must love God fully and all the while love my neighbor as myself.

Merry Christmas

After more prayer and thanksgiving I expect this will be a different Christmas for me.

Father I praise you

for your Son

for you word

for revelation

for Christmas

for the greatest gift ever given

I praise you

amen

Ron

Hello Everyone!

Hey thanks for reading my blog.

Every time I have contemplated what to write in this blog, I have been blessed that it had less to do with me and more to do with the Holy Spirit. I write each post based on a thought in the back of my head. I am often unsure what the post will be about until it starts to come together and materialize on the page. After writing each post I leave it for 24 hours then come back for a final edit. On each one I have had a subtle shiver down my back as I read it almost for the first time. I pray that this continues and that our fathers spirit will continue to grace me.

I hope that this blog has been helpful and has ministered to you in some small way. If it has Praise God. If not I pray that the right people, those who are searching for him and maybe not even know it yet, will find this blog and will open up to God's word through these pages. I simply want to be used by him in the accomplishment of the great commission.

I am off to Canada tomorrow morning to see about helping my mother get well (See Cancer in the Hills). I hope to post while away so hopefully there will be no delays, but we shall see.

Earlier today my prayer warrior sister Joyce C gave me some verses to pray over as I enter into this time of ministry. I would like to share them with you and humbly ask that you pray for my mom as well.

Lets end this post with Joyce's prayer...

This is the Day

Good morning Ron;

As I pray for you and your family this morning, The Lord spoke and He said, go in His name and power. He has given you authority, power and dominion to speak those things to existence. Fear not nor be dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with you.

As you travel tomorrow, I pray even now that the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH WHO CAME IN THE FLESH go before you and strategically wash everything that’s not of Our Lord and Savior. From every area of your traveling path, your parents home, inside and outside and seven miles around, above, below their home also your home in your absence.

These are some scriptures:

Healing: Malachi 4:2, Matthew 4:23 & 9:35, Luke 9:11, Acts 4:22

Healeth: Exodus 15:26, Psalm 103:3 &147:3, Isaiah 30:26

Be Blessed and go in HIS POWER.

Just know that everything you do is in HIM.

I pray the peace of GOD upon you.

Joyce