1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. Ps 121
My family and I live in the foothills of the
For the past several weeks I have been coming to terms with the recent diagnosis of my mother. She was told she has cancer, again. Four and a half years ago she went toe to toe with this horrible disease. She emerged tired and bruised but victorious, Praise God. Now however the stakes are higher. A tumor was found and will be removed in two weeks.
My mother and I are not close in the traditional sense. Her generation was not one to let you know how they feel. I learned to fill in the blank spaces. Acts of kindness and sacrifice can easily be understood as I love you. A smile or friendly lilt in a voice can mean I love you.
But now, does “are you coming to visit?” mean I am scared, I can’t do this alone. Does clinging to details about accommodations belay a loss of control? What of her fear of death? How does that play out, in prayer, devotion?
I am not on solid ground here. Much like the rocks and gravel on my mountain playground the ground seems unstable, shifting and full of peril. Each of my rides has taken on a new significance. Most days I cannot wait to get there. At the summit of my ride I stop and take in the vista. As I catch my breath I pray earnestly. Most days the prayer starts with Psalm 121. Here this psalm comes to life. I can feel his presence consoling me, encouraging me, strengthening me. Like the beat of my heart pounding in my ears, Jesus is there with me. Jesus is my rock and solid ground.
He reminds me of his sacrifice, his commitment to me. On my knees I ask for a miracle that my mother would know his power, his healing. I see this tremendous mountain range and know that it would melt before him if he wished, it would be thrown down into the ocean at his command. His power is there for each of us who earnestly seek it. Those who would do his will, build his kingdom, love him and their neighbor with all their heart.
Today I am torn up by the suffering and fear of my mother. But my trust is in him and his power. Today and all days he is the one that I seek, that I love, that I will follow with all my heart. Today I pray for a miracle, I intercede on behalf of my mother. Today I call upon the name of Christ and ask that he give my mother the chance to complete her life in his peace, in his grace, carried away with gentleness and warmth. The woman who brought me into this world I pray will go out of it another day fully in his comforting hand.
May all the praise and glory be yours
My heavenly father I pray these things in the name of your victorious son
Amen
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