Last week, as I flew off to Canada to be with my mother I reflected on my favorite book of the old testament; Jeremiah. This post and the next address this intimate love story of God for his chosen people Israel and why it is so meaningful to me.
Jeremiah 29:11
In the Christian circles I navigate, I am often faced with one of the more well known quotes from the bible. It is Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans…
What a great verse full of hope and promise full of the brightness of life and the opportunity to fulfill a life’s purpose. This is the faithful’s foreshadow of the New Testament verse “well done good and faithful servant”. I love that verse and its obvious significance.
He shoots he…is tripped?!
In my life I have not been the brightest, the most popular, the most agile, the best hockey player. I have had to earn every toehold, every acknowledgment. Affirmations in my life have been in short supply.
About 10 years ago, one of my best friends and I played pickup hockey on an early Sunday morning. This was the first time he and I had played hockey together. I knew him to be a pretty talented hockey player. In Toronto this is saying something. Everyone there plays. It was 5am in Toronto. I still remember the mist covering the ice as we cut the first blades of steel into the frozen surface. As the game progressed the friendly banter subsided as heart rates and breathing quickened, Canadians take their hockey seriously even at 5am on a Sunday morning. Even in a pickup game with no significance at all.
Since my early 20’s I have played defense. I think this started because I was, as I stated above, not the most skilled. My goals and assists were earned. My bruises fought for. My pride was always hanging in the balance. So I played defense. After several years I became quite proficient at it. I did not have to be the fastest, the strongest, the most skilled. I learned that if I used my intellect, my heart, my stamina in concert I could compete. Some days I could even win. Every once in a while I could shine. Safely locked away in the deepest part of my human heart are those few memories of soaring. (There was a time in a playoff game where we lost 3-2. I scored two goals and was a +2 playing 40 minutes of a 50 minute game. If you know hockey this is more than good. There was another time when my Farmington Hills MI over 30 team won the league championship. I was recognized by that team as one of our best defense. No sacrifice was too great that season bruise concussion, sprain; the team would win if I had anything to say about it. We did. This is my private Stanley Cup)
That morning in Toronto was no different. I worked hard to keep the stars of the other team from scoring with only mixed results. Toward the end of the game I had a break away. Just before scoring (well I thought I would) the defenseman on the other side tripped me from behind. I was enraged. It was a pickup game; there are no referees just an honor code to play the game for the love of it.
Only in hockey have I faced giants fearlessly. I got in this guys face and screamed at him. What are you doing?! This is a pickup game!!! Luckily my friend got between us and calmed the situation down. This guy was about 6 inches taller and 100 pounds heavier (all muscle) I would have lost it gone any further.
My friend said something to me on the way home that has burned itself into my memory. You are a scrapper. You are not the most talented but you work really hard. This observation was as close as my friend could come to an authentic compliment. I know I am not that talented, so did he. I find great release in the intensity of trying with all my being to win.
This worldly perspective seems incongruous with Jeremiah 29:11. I was not made to play in the NHL or even in an elite amateur league. Hockey for me is a passion that will never be more than a hobby. All the same it has taught me about the plans my maker has made for me. He gave me an ability to enter into a state of fiery passion, a capability to live in a controlled rage of energy and concentration. Yes it has at times tipped beyond the point of sanity but only rarely. Only when injustices are leveled against me or those people or causes I care deeply about do I lash out.
It took two decades for me to make the connection. Only in the past few years has it become clear. He was preparing me, giving me glimpses of what I was called for while I was far from him. He was foreshadowing the promise I had in him, if I could only submit to his will.
Fiery Passion
This is the clearest and most sought after state of my mind. I want to be on fire for him. I have learned to get to a point where I am hyper alert, energized to the limit, conscious of every detail, and fully emotionally engaged. What an elusive state! When I am there I feel like anything the Lord wants me to do is possible. What was most profound to me about this state was what it signified. This was the fire the Lord set in me to be a leader.
Through the elegant and violent game of hockey my heavenly father revealed to me that he had bestowed upon me the gift of leadership.
For me leading is now as necessary as breathing. It is not about the need to have power and control, inexplicably it is about giving it away. I love to do the Lord’s work through leading, I cannot, not lead. Jeremiah said something early in his ministry that was very much on point to this yearning inside me when he said.
20:9
But if I say “ I will not mention him
or speak any more of his name”
His word is in my heart like a fire
a fire shut up in my bones
I am weary of holding it in
Indeed I cannot.
This is what leading is to me, a fire in my bones, a fire from our heavenly father.
Father
I praise you for your revelation in my life
You are my Lord of my life
Holy one, you who knew me before I was conceived
You had plans for me before the beginning of time
Father, words cannot express my wonder at you omnipotence
Help me to fulfill the destiny you created for me
Speak to me father
Share your plan to me so that I might honor you
Allow me the pleasure of living totally committed in your will
Your will be done in this life
In your son’s victorious name I pray
Amen
Ron
