Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sad Women

Sad Women…

Last week I commented on a blog I had been reading recently about the state of male leadership in the Church. I contacted the author, Rev. Mark Brown and talked to him today. In our discussion he asked if I had read the comments in that post. Yes I had, I told him. The vast number of women who responded to his article shocked me. Where are all the men?!


He responded "A whole lot of sad women"

He was right. As I read the comments my heart was torn out by the carnage left. It was like a train wreck with women's hearts laid waste all over the road. A failed marriage, despair, a cheating husband, apathy, ignorance. AGGHHH!

THIS HAS TO STOP!!!

WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN?!

How do we get men to take their rightful role as leaders in the Church?

Well I have a few ideas.

Not ideas exactly more like plays in a field book that has been battered and worn down.

Ever heard the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result...

Honestly I think that is what happens when it comes to men in the Church. We have work parties; we have breakfasts maybe even barbeques. Events!

A Pastor I recently met did a great sermon recently on this. Pastor Bayless Conley called it Process versus Event. We in the Church seem to be event junkies. We go from event to event speaking christianese, trying to look Holy, hoping that the next event will be the mountain top experience we seek so desperately. After all if we can get back to the mountain top we can be with our God, and all will be well, all will be right, RIGHT?

Look following Christ is a day by day, minute by minute process. The important thing about events in my opinion is they mark the mile markers in the journey, that's it. Well yeah they are also times of intimacy with our Heavenly Father and that is a very good thing. But stop, what makes you think that we can only find God on a mountaintop? He is everywhere, he is always and forever, his love is everlasting. He wants us to be in relationship with him.

So look, stop the whole event junkie crap. You might get a man's attention for maybe a millisecond with an event but not his heart.

If you want to connect with the heart of a man you start elsewhere.

Be a Man!

Here is a radical idea treat him like...a man. Treat him with respect, with dignity. laugh with him, cheer with him, sweat with him, stand with him. Here is the most important part, give him permission to be a man.

Yeah I said it. Men are competitive, they are hard on the outside, they love to play hard and respect those who will stand in with them when they do. Don't you remember the schoolyards of our youth? Back before guns and gangs became the rage and fear of the day. What happened when a boy had a beef with another boy? They had a fistfight. Often the outcome of these was not the making of mortal enemies but good and even best friends.

Let a guy be rough, let him be masculine.

Jesus was tough, a Man’s Man

Remove all the crappy expectations that my Hero, the lion of Judah was meek and wimpy. My God is a hero, he is courageous, he is a warrior at heart. He knew how to be a real man. A man who oozed masculinity. ALL the way to the Cross at Calvary.

Don't ask a Man to wear a metaphorical Skirt!

Guys don't want to come to Church and hug like the women do. They don't want to stand around with soft low voices saying bless you brother. They don’t want to stand around with china doll smiles pretending to enjoy the sermon. Nah they want to hug for real, a slap you on the back, shake your hand and laugh at a crappy joke hug that says Yeah I'm here. Yeah I see you. You are alright by me. That is the way of men. Let a man be a man.

WE START THERE…

Father walk with me through this line of passion you gave me. Help me to share the passion for your men that you have burdened on my heart. May your men WAKE UP, may they come to you thirsty, to love you, to follow you.

Let you will be done in your men

Amen

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Read a Great but Sad Post today

I was flipping through Facebook this morning and came across a headline about why there are so few male leaders in the Church today. Check it out here.

Normally I glance at articles and skip on by but this one was tugging at my heart. As a leader in Men's ministry and a guy myself I know exactly what the author was talking about. So I commented back. But this is such an important issue to me I wanted to share a piece of my comment with you here.

I am saddened by the state of the Church and the lack of male leadership. The bible is clear on this point. As a volunteer leader in my churches mens ministry I do all God wills me and I can to raise up men as leaders. I have been blessed to lead a Men’s group that is now over 60 strong with a clear vision to raise every man up to be a leader in their home, their Church and their community. AND Praise God we are seeing the fruit of our labor as my men slowly enter into other ministries intent on making a difference for God throughout our church.

Honestly I believe the Church has done little to engage men in ways that meet them where they are and stay relevant through their healing and growth. Broken men aren’t interested in hyper-spiritual platitudes or seemingly meaningless religious advice nor are they interested in being treated like a pack mule and taking on every service project that requires a strong back, good heart and a pick up truck.

Who can men trust?

That is the relevant question here. Can I get to know you and trust you the man says quietly to himself. Will you get to know me, not judge me in my brokenness, not laugh at me, not send me to a fix it class. Will you know me, stand beside me, play with me sometimes, work with me occasionally, cheer for our team with me, stand silently and mourn with me when necessary. Then I might show up and ask you to pray for me. Then I might take the risk to open my mouth and worship in front of you. Then I might take a first cautious step toward leading something.

Why are there so few male leaders in the Church? I am not convinced we (the Church) know how to reach them…

To those who lead, with diligence

Be blessed

Ron