What's in your Wallet

I want to share with you a post I wrote on my other blog about four months ago. The lesson in the post was values and your awareness of them. In light of what is happening in communities all around my own in Southern California, this post is more relevant than ever. My perspective on the matter has if anything strengthened. What is in my wallet faith in an everlasting, ever forgiving ever loving all powerful God who gave his only son so that I might be saved, who sends his Holy Spirit to be with me each day.

Here is the post

What's in your Wallet...?

Priorities…

In October of 2003 the Mountains of San Bernardino County were awash in flames. The Grand Prix fire was in its glory burning across the countryside like a fully loaded freight train. Every evening the members of my community would gather on their street and watch as the flames glowed in the distance coming ever closer to our homes.

Rancho Cucamonga is on the edge of the deserts of southern California. It has a hot arid climate that is unforgiving in the dead of summer. Temperatures regularly top 115 degrees. Rain is scarce here. When the old song claimed it never rains in southern California, they were not kidding. A couple inches in January, February, a sprinkle in July and that’s about it for the year. You can imagine that all the brush and scrub is scorched and dry by the time the fall, I mean the fire season approaches. 03 was a particularly active and deadly year in so-Cal. It was a blessing that no one died in the Grand Prix fire but seven fire fighters down toward San Diego were not so lucky later that season in the OLD fire. Remember to say a prayer for those brave fire fighters and their families as they continue coping with their loss.

It was a Friday morning in late October. I remember it clearly because I awoke to a strong smell of smoke. I went outside to see where the fire had progressed to and was shocked. It was less than a mile from my house. Although I lived over a half mile from the fire line with other suburbs directly between my family and the fire, there was still cause for concern. You see there is an electrical right of way cutting down from the mountains running along the back wall of all my neighbors’ houses across the street from my house. The fire could burn up to within 300 feet of my front door. If the fire burns down here I thought all bets are off. It did!

So imagine being faced with an unthinkable situation. Your house and all your worldly possessions could go up in flames any minute.

What do you do?

What do you think about?

Do you panic?

Do you reach out for help?

Moments like these are, as one writer put it, when true character is revealed. I watched with fascination as a few of my neighbors packed everything conceivable into their oversized SUV’s and off to a safe place they scurried. Others casually sought hotel reservations and made a short holiday of the affair. What did I do?

I took stock of the situation and considered my values. Faith Family, Integrity, Learning Teaching. I decided that only the first two were at play here. Everything I “own” is on loan. I am a steward of the possessions God gave me. This made the decision easy. The stuff is irrelevant. It might be a good idea to grab the will, the insurance policies and the photos that could not be replaced, but that’s it. Next take care of the family. We were fortunate to be invited to stay in the home of a dear friend and pastor of our church. Tim welcomed us into his home and allowed us to ride it out. We never did worry about all the stuff. I returned home to see what was going on in the neighborhood that Saturday and saw a scene that only brave firefighters should ever see. Pitch black at 11 am. Air so thick you could cut it with a knife; ash and flaming debris floating down from the sky all around.

That fateful day taught me a lesson about myself and others. We all value something. I have heard it said that if you want to know what a person values study their check book or perhaps their debit card receipts these days. Where people spend their money is a pretty good indication of what they value. So to quote the credit card commercial…

What’s in your wallet?

Ron

Father

Today I lift up those brave souls who serve our community
those who volunteer to protect us

Father

keep all your fire fighters safe this day and all the days to come
I pray that all those misguided souls who stayed to save their homes would be with you today that they would be welcomed by you

All those caught by this tragedy would be comforted by you

In your victorious name I pray

amen

Cellars of the Heart

When I was a child I used to have the odd nightmare. You know the ones where you are falling and falling and falling or the ones where you are being chased but your feet are in quicksand. There was one other that was not so much a nightmare but often turned into one on me. I would find myself in a strange house wandering through trying to figure out where I was. Room after room passage way after passage way you try to figure out where you are. At some point just like the "B" movies you go into the basement to see if you can find the electrical panel to turn the lights on. Has that ever happen to you?

A version of that scene came to me early yesterday morning during my men's bible study when our pastor clearly spoke about surrendering to God. Only this time I discovered in that basement the boarded up entrance to a deep cellar. Covered with cob webs smelling musty and unwelcoming, this is a place that screams Danger! Keep Out! Stout dirty beams nailed with large spikes ensured no one would ever be able to pull away the covering on this deep dark opening in the basement.

Whatever did this message mean? Unfortunately I know all too well. Like most men I compartmentalize my thought life. This is a really neat male feature; it allows you to function normally when you are angry, broken, hurting, or ashamed. Without this function most men could not pretend to be normal. They would be unable to function normally their brokenness would be too close to the surface; someone would find them out.

I was dealing that morning with a rebellious sin. I knew I had to address it but was content to keep it locked away securely in the cellar to be dealt with later. There was one little problem with my plan, the Lord wanted none of it. You see I have been reading a book called Total Surrender. This book was given to me by a Christian brother who has recently started investing in my faith life.

I want nothing more than to surrender completely to the Father and have prayed humbly to do so. Andrew Murray the author of the book clearly argued that to surrender we must empty our heart of our own selfish desires for the Holy Spirit to fill us with God's desires. See where this is going.

Ironically this subject of surrender has become a common theme these past few weeks. I am no different than most guys; a little slow in picking up spiritual clues. First the book, then the bible study. Sandwiched in the middle of these was a praise song sung at a worship service. The band that night had played wonderfully, until that song. For me it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. It was not that they were playing bad, it was that I am used to hearing Jeremy Camp sing this particular song; Empty Me. I am sure that my discomfort in hearing the band play this song was intentional. I needed to hear this warning bell.

Empty Me by Jeremy Camp

Holy Fire burn away,

my desire for anything

that is not of you and is of me,

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,

Empty me, yeah,

Fill, won't you fill me,

with you, with you, yeah.

I love this song. This night my quest to surrender heightened. I became aware of the fact that I need to be like an empty clay jar ready to receive. I need to uncover any blemishes, any closed off areas that keep me from full surrender.

So back to the cellar

As dearly as I have prayed to empty myself I have recognized that there is yet another cellar in the basement of by heart. One that has been long secured from the Lord. I cannot let him in, it must be held back. The funny thing is for the longest time I did not even know it was there. It was hidden amongst all the other junk in me. As this junk has been slowly removed by the Holy Spirit, this door became evident.

I cannot open this door on my own, it is too well secured. I need the help and strength of the Holy Spirit. The morning of the Bible Study I asked a brother to pray for me. The same man who has started to invest in my faith life. Have you ever confessed a sin to a brother and been afraid of what they might think? Ever done it anyway? I have. That morning, the spirit helped me muster the courage to confront my own rebellion. As he prayed over me, I could sense the Spirit washing over me covering me with what felt like a force field of protective covering. As much as I want to stick dynamite under this door in my heart and blow it up, I cannot. On my own I can do nothing to break into this stronghold of sin, but in the spirit, in Christ all things are possible.

This morning I could feel the thin edge of the wedge sliding into place behind the beams holding this door.

Father I need you more than ever
If I am to completely surrender
I need the intercession of the Holy Spirit
I cannot do the work in front of me
You can
Will you Father
I need you more than ever
Praise be your Holy name

amen

Dollar Store Jesus

Yesterday I sat to write a post to this blog and found my mind as dry as a desert. It was clear that the subject I wanted to write and finish, the third installment in "What's your Story?" just wasn't the one I had to write. So this afternoon I prayed that the Holy Spirit would guide my thoughts and fingers across the keyboard. Here is what came forth...

Dollar Store Jesus

I went out for drinks with my wife, a dear friend and her spouse on night last week. We were celebrating a promotion that God had engineered in my life. My friend did not know it as she is far from God but my true celebration was in worship the day of the offer two weeks prior.

So here we were two college friends and spouses toasting a new chapter, a new season literally drinking in the possibility. She and I had graduated from a masters program in leadership and management not 18 months prior. Both of us have been forever changed through the degree. It gave us the opportunity to deepen our wisdom, challenge our assumptions and find our leadership voice. I have watched my friend grow in confidence and capability as sure as an oak tree growing along the shore of a river. I too was changed by the program. It was the first time I started to incorporate my vocation (leadership) with my faith. In the early courses I spoke tentatively of how important my faith was in my life and leadership. Toward the end I was bold, a lion waiting to roar for my God. The transformation was discernible to all who knew me but especially my dear friend.

My friend and I shared a deep sense of loyalty to the concept of authenticity. We sought transparency and absolute integrity. What you see is exactly what you get. Make a promise, deliver period. This kindred sense came though from seemingly different places. My friend has wandered from her catholic roots, some deep scar clouding her ability to see that God is real. I believe the Holy Spirit is working in her much like he did with me when I was far from him. He kept chipping away at the edges, honing my character, pointing me in Godly directions, protecting me from myself. I believe he does so with my friend as well she has not seen it yet.

My friend comes from a Hispanic background, she is volcanic with passion, she has a joy for life that is unmatched and a tireless spirit. If you are in trouble this is the friend you would want at your side, you just know you can count on her. She has an infectious laugh; often I make ridiculous comments or take on peculiar accent just to hear it. When she laughs the room brightens immediately. Her own sense of humor is well developed. When the four of us get together it is not uncommon for all of us to laugh so hard that our faces hurt for hours afterward. Each time we all seem to be surprised by the amount of laughter that comes forth. God loves to laugh I am sure. I cannot help but think he is at the center of this time.

So this particular evening was no different. It seems that my friend had family come to visit from out of state. She proceeded to tell us the stories of how her relatives took over the house like the Tasmanian devil cartoon character takes over a forest: high speed action, a dust cloud and mayhem in the wake. We laughed hysterically as she related story after story that would have been implausible had this been a sitcom. When she got to the Jesus statue and the candles I perked up. I do this when I sense that my Lord is about to be grieved. But not so this day, she related how her relative had setup their own personal shrine complete with burning candles, Jesus and a saint statue complete with the flame of the Holy Spirit. My friend was reasonably concerned that the house might actually catch fire, after all the flood, the fight and the fridge stories were already in the books.

When she finished sharing how her catholic relative setup a shrine to pray to Jesus my wife remarked how it seemed as if her relative might have bought a dollar store Jesus; hence the name of this post.

I grew up a Catholic Christian. The traditions of my church have always been a great comfort to me. I love the warmth of a group confessional prayer, the sense of chanting that spans the millennia by billions of Christians. Yet something troubled me. I have reached a point in my walk where from reading and studying the bible where I realize that Christ is every where. The veil was torn at his crucifixion. We no longer need an intercessor to approach our Heavenly Father. I am no preacher, no theologian, just a Christian; but the father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are real. They influence my life in profound ways. They intercede for me, answer my prayers, they comfort me and protect me. I don’t need a dollar store Jesus statue to pray to.

I am beginning to understand why so many Christians look at the catholic traditions and see what looks like idol worship. I know it isn’t, they just don’t understand, I reason. But yet, why a statue? Is it a reminder, a symbol of what God represents…I do not know. Blind faith is in my life not faith at all. I must seek relationship with my heavenly father. I must know him and have an intimate relationship with him. I must love him with all my heart, soul and mind. Here in lies the journey to be taken, the life to be lived, a life of total surrender. In surrendering to Christ paradoxically lies a life of freedom and love. This is what I seek.

Father

I am yours

Fully

I want nothing more than to do your will

I want to know your love and have it channel through me to the lost of this world

I want to be yours hands, feet, whatever you need of me.

Father I lift up my dear friend to you

I beg of you to heal the brokenness in her

Help that part of her that keeps her from knowing your love.

Save her father

This daughter of yours is a gift of joy

Heaven would not be the same without her

Father

I love you

Amen

Larry the Biker

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What is your story? Part II

Today I will continue on with points 4 and 3. Again this is a story that God is revealing to me real time. I share it with you as is becomes clear to me. It is a story of maturation in Christ and a story of love and faith. It is a story that will allow me to become even more resolute in doing God’s will with love and humility in this world. One day I will walk across the room to a stranger, a non believer and ask in love, if he knows our Savior Jesus.

Acts: Point 4

Last Tuesday morning I was hit with a profound revelation. Those of you strong in your faith will find this to be rather obvious. No doubt a duh!!! might be thought or even spoken. But all of us have moments where even the most elegantly simple concept has mystified us for some time only for us to finally get it. The Holy Spirit is a real being. Yes, did you know that? I really had never considered that he was. He was always a mysterious ghost like thing that you called upon to help someone in need.

Tuesday morning in a men’s leadership class our pastor stated that the Holy Spirit will prompt us to act in accordance with his will. We being dough head men will often say nah! This (my) way is better. The spirit will let us proceed, of course, taking us ever further away from his will in our lives. I heard our pastor say (it may have been early, he may not have said this but) the spirit’s feeling would get hurt. Let’s not debate whether this could be true or not. The point of the matter was that somehow God revealed to me that the spirit is one of three important beings in our Triune God. I never considered this, never recognized that I was treating the Holy Spirit as more of a tool than a part of my God.

This evening I prayed to the Holy Spirit to forgive me. I invited him fully into my heart as an equal member of my God. It was a powerful yet humble prayer. I was aware of how much I have missed out on by not recognizing this basic fact, not honoring God fully. Today this changed. I was aware of his presence, a subtle sensation / awareness came over me. I immediately lifted up in prayer several loved ones who I knew to be in need of prayer. With more conviction and release than I have ever known I lifted each up in prayer knowing that this powerful being was listening and would act on this authentic prayer.

Praise you Lord for revealing this ignorance in me so that I might repent of it and connect more powerfully with the Holy Spirit.

I can only imagine what might have been had I recognized this earlier. All those subtle whispered messages over the last number of years. Where had they come from? The Holy Spirit of course. If only I had tapped his power earlier, what good might God have done for his people?

Can you imagine what the Holy Spirit must have been thinking? Here is this dope that sometimes listens to my voice. Sometimes he even acts on what I share with him. All the while he has no idea I am real, I am God. He insults me with his ignorance but still he tries to listen he tries to ask me to act in others. What a knuckle head, maybe one day he will get it! Tuesday was that day. Praise God, Praise you Holy Spirit!

So when you pray, when you ask the Holy Spirit to act in the lives of those you pray for, do you realize he is God a member of the Trinity?

Mark: Point 3

For the past five months I have become a part of my churches outreach into the poorest part of south Fontana California. Each month we set up at a local Christian Church and care for people. I discussed this in detail in the first post on this blog Em-Manuel. It did not take long for this activity to become something I looked forward to. It is to a point now where if something were to conflict with this activity I would decline it. This outreach is too important to be missed. Manuel has become a friend I pray for regularly. David, Don, Dewayne and Mike have all changed me. Getting to know men in humble desperate circumstance leaves its mark.

For me every drop of sweat, every twinge of pain, every word of prayer is magnified. It is a moment of consciousness of my role in the Kingdom of God. It represents my opportunity to be a working healthy part of the body of Christ.

There is more to the story though. I shared a few posts ago of the passion I have been given to lead, this heavenly gift is a calling upon my life. There are two models of leadership I breathe. The first is servant leadership modeled after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Serving others, making yourself a confident, capable “last” is core to this model. I revel in it, for I know where my strength comes from. Unlike the worldly perspective on this style of leadership, I am no door mat. I say this not out of pride but out of confidence in the Lord and the gifts he bestowed upon me. Would you call Christ a door mat when he tore up the money changers tables in the temple square? Hardly! There is a quiet deep strength in this form of leadership.

The other model of leadership I breathe also originates from my faith; transformational leadership. Helping others to transcend their individual circumstance to achieve something beyond their individual capabilities, this is transformational leadership at its best.

Why do I share these two models with you? Well they relate to the transformation occurring within me. My role as a servant in this activity has created a hunger to do more for God, but it has also lived out the scriptures. My zeal to do God’s will to make myself last has led to an opportunity to take a leadership role in this outreach on behalf of my Church. According to one of our church elders it was the very fact that I served with joy that led him to ask me to help lead. It’s not about me, it is about God being true to his word in Mark. 10:44

Whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all. Mark 10:44

Please understand I do not seek to be first, actually I am absolutely happy to stay toiling in obscurity. But God will always raise up those who are true to his word. I suppose this happens to be me in this story. Praise God

Father continue your work in me

Guard my heart, protect me from the evil one

I praise your name for the revelation you gave me this week

I praise the Holy Spirit and all he does in this world

Use me fully father to further your kingdom

I am your servant

There is no greater work than to do your will

Use me

In your son's holy name I pray

Amen

What is your story?

So what is your story of salvation? Do you know it? Are you saved? Is your eternal future secure?

Heady questions aren’t they. These are the things of spiritual giants; those fearless souls who, to quote Bill Hybels, will walk across the room and ask you. Imagine.

How do you gain that level of conviction in your heart? How do you overcome your fears of the flesh to live out real time the great commission? I really do not know.

However there has been a convergence in my heart of late of a number of spiritual truths that seem to be ready to reveal the answer to me. Over the next few days I would like to share with you what they are and how they have profoundly impacted my life. For today we discuss points 6 and 5. I am not one for conforming so we start at the end and work backward ;-) What are these truths?

1. It is better to be judged a fool by men than a fool by God
2. Loving God means worshiping him with abandon
3. Loving God’s people means serving them with a servants heart
4. The Holy spirit is a real being part of the triune God we serve
5. Trusting God is hard at first but obedience and discipline are paid in joy
6. We must always be on guard for the evil one, he will attack through your weakness

All of these truths can be traced back to a specific chapter and verse in the Bible. I cannot recall the exact location of each but I know them to be consistent with the word.

Through my prayer time, my service time, my worship time and my learning time each of these statements have been slowly revealed to me.

Ephesians: Point 6

I have learned to put on the full armor of God each day (Ephesians 6). This is kind of fun. On the top front edge of my sock drawer you will find the word peace, on another drawer the word righteousness stands proudly. On the inside of my belt you would find, Truth. On the back of my hair brush, salvation. I pray as I dress each morning that I be firm and steadfast in the Lord and that my armor protect me. I finish the prayer by taking up the shield of faith and the sword. That is another story…(point 4 that is)

Psalms: Point 5

Eight days ago I was offered a promotion in my work life I had not thought possible. You see I live my values. I have not walked a politically correct line at work; I have walked a Godly line. These two lines often clash. For this I will not apologize, my faith is vastly more important than my job. That said I have challenged people, stated my opinion (in love) that is not always welcomed and walked to the beat of a different drummer. At the same time, the Lord has blessed me with the gift of leadership. As Jeremiah put it, leadership is like a fire pent up in my bones. I cannot not lead when it is needed. So I move naturally into leadership spaces to ensure the success of my worksite. All the while I did not expect to be promoted.

In the past three months I have prayed a dangerous prayer. I want the Lord to reveal his will in my life. You name it, I will do it. I don’t care what it is I trust you, use me. I have prayed this consistently for three months. Well that was until last Monday when the Lord answered. Praise God!

I celebrated this promotion with the Lord in worship (psalm 37:4) high on a mountain range in the setting sun, Jeremy Camp leading the private worship band (ipod). Powerful stuff, not even a flat tire half way through the trip could rain on this worship. Nothing could spoil this time with the Lord.

So now I oversee a manufacturing plant with 162 employees. Heady responsibility, so many families to lead, to ensure our shared future is secure.

But then this is a Godly appointment. He is in control; I am the co pilot on this flight. I expect turbulence, I expect adversity, I expect changed lives and God to be glorified.

This is going to be fun!

I will wrap up here and continue on later with points 4 and 3. These 6 points are creating a revolution of transformation inside of me. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in mind for his story through me.

God bless you all

Ron