Lord, How do I open the eyes of my Heart?

Open the eyes of my heart

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

(Repeat two more times)

Holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you

Michael W. Smith

The Heart?

I shared a few weeks back that I am an engineer. I have a tendency to look at the world with a dispassionate analytic perspective. For many years this was a significant stumbling block in my faith life. Heck for most of my life as an engineer I had no faith life. Yet somewhere along the way Jesus showed up. He brought the Holy Spirit with him and started to minister to the emptiness that had taken residence in my soul. It was a very painfully empty God shaped hole within me.

I shared the story of that time a while back as well, that is not the point here just the context. You see I want to talk about the eyes of my heart. In 2002 I first discovered Michael W. Smith. A friend had recommended him to me as an excellent Christian artist that I might like. Like, I loved him! I could not get enough of listening to his music. In fact this was the start of a six year love affair with worship music that is not soon to end. Check out My Private Worship Time if you want perspective.

There were many songs at the time that I loved yet one stood out; Open the Eyes of my Heart.

Here is where the engineer and the Christian setup a cognitive dissonance (fancy term for two opposing ideas held in the mind that cannot be resolved). Essentially the meaning of this song was lost on me. How could I see with my heart?

Well….

That was then, this is now

In the past several weeks I have had a number of experiences that when considered from the right perspective offered me a glimpse into the meaning of this song. The perspective is that of heaven or the kingdom instead of a worldly one.

There was the time when in worship and prayer my heart ached so hard for the Lord that I wanted to cry. I prayed instead, on my knees, until the feeling passed.

There was the time my heart ached for the men I work with and a difficult decision they face. I cannot bear the thought of them hurting. I prayed for them until the ache stopped.

There was the time at a worship service I closed my eyes and took in the scene. I believe the lord was clearly showing me how to see with my heart in his realm. It was so peaceful so wonderful. I was content to be in his presence and I know that had I quieted my mind even further I would have seen his angels ministering to his people.

This morning as I listened to my daily audio bible segment, courtesy of Brian Hardin, my heart leapt as the word from Leviticus started. All at once I felt present with Brian half way around the world in India connected through a supernatural link.

Close my eyes and see?

So now I know that there are times that I can close my eyes and see as he does. I can trust my heart instead of my eyes. I can trust in him and see his people with love.

I am further honored that though this gift from the Lord is momentary and seemingly random that all the prayers I have pleaded all the times I have asked for a new heart are being answered He is constructing a new heart in me, a renewed spirit. He is teaching me to love without condition to care without boundary.

I am a blessed man

In him

Ron

The Desert

I was reflecting the other day on the highs and lows of the journey to discipleship in Christ and realized I had a story to tell. Here it is.

The Desert

In 2000 I left the only company I had ever worked for to move west to California. It seemed the right move to make. I was done with my old company and the new job was exactly what I had been seeking. You know many people thought my wife and I brave. We left our country, our home, the only company I had ever known for a new life in socal. We didn’t think ourselves brave, just decisive and perhaps adventurous. As a life long catholic who had only two years prior begun to rediscover his faith, the decision process was embarrassingly secular. I did not seek Gods wisdom in prayer, I did not pray for the success of the transition. We just negotiated a good deal and moved.

We had no church to call home, we had no friends, we had no relatives within 2400 miles to lean on. We had nothing but each other. We had God of course but we did not know how to seek him. I did not know how to pray beyond a Hail Mary and an Our Father. Somehow neither seemed to be on point.

We were in a desert of our own making.

Have you ever felt loneliness? Have you felt the sting of not being able to reach out and connect with people? To suffer alone, to be a shadow of your full vibrant self, to have no friends? Do you know this pain? This is not the church of Christ described in Acts 2:42!


We tried local catholic churches, none fit. I am not sure the local churches in socal have heard of the second Vatican council. Latin masses and blind faith?! No this is not my idea of spending time with God. We continued searching. Months past, it felt like years. I prayed longingly for Godly men to come into my life to befriend. Someone with whom I could share my heart.


After months of loneliness and quiet suffering, we were invited to a Lutheran church. If only the Lutherans knew how similar they are to Catholics. It is profoundly saddening to know how much we share yet neither cannot admit to. The Lutheran tradition was so close to what I had come to love in Catholicism that the transition was softened. We quickly were welcomed into this church family and began to heal and eventually grow once again in our faith.

Was this desert a lesson? I certainly think so. It takes me back to my favorite verse in Jeremiah (29:11) Seek me with all your heart says the lord and I will be found by you. I will release you from captivity.

This desert time was long and painful, lonely and discouraging yet through it we emerged even more dependent on God, even more committed to our faith, even more resolved to move toward complete surrender and one day be a disciple totally on fire for God.

Let me end this post on the word that the Lord gave me as I wrote it for I know this verse was given to me so that I might know he was with me through this challenging time in "the desert"

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Mt 11:28


Praise be your Holy name Father

May you grant me the wisdom to seek you in all the decisions of my life

That I may make your will mine and that I would honor you always

In your son's victorious name I pray

Amen

Em-Manuel

A few days ago I had the opportunity to work with a small but dedicated group in south Fontana. Perhaps you have never heard of south Fontana. It is a hot arid place on the edge of the deserts of southern California. Here you find blistering heat in the summer and poverty year round. This is a place of desperation. This is a place where generations of Americans go without health care; without most of the things that you and I hardly think about. Here people consider where their next meal will come from and whether they should eat or pay their rent. This is a place of desperation.

When I was sick…

For one day each month this changes. A small group of Christ followers congregate at a local church and do their level best to serve these same people. A mobile medical unit comes and sets up shop providing basic medical care for all who show up. They work tirelessly all day ensuring that these people see the hope of Christ through their eyes.

When I was hungry…

Our group brings in a truck full of food. I have the pleasure of organizing the packing of 100 boxes of food for the people. There are so many wonderful moments in this time. Each moment is a blessing, everything from small aches of joy in the small of my back, to the electricity of the opening prayer, to the intimacy of listening to a hurting broken brother or sister. I praise God for the opportunity to be in these moments fully alive for him and his church.

When I was lonely…

There are games, music, puppet shows, bouncers for the kids. This is a time for community to be built and strengthened, a time for new bonds of friendship to be planted.

Go amongst all the nations and proclaim the good news…

This day I asked a new friend "Manuel" a question. Do you believe that Christ died for you and loves you? Any evangelist worth his weight in salt might think this is no big thing. It was, Saturday marked the first time, praise God, that I asked another person this question. At least the first person where the answer was not known. The Lord is doing a work inside my heart. He is opening me up to the lonely and the poor, he is gracing me with a glimpse of his ability to see his people as he does.

Speak Lord for your servant is listening…

Father I praise you, I love you and I thank you. I ask that you open the eyes of all the peoples of this earth to the suffering, pain and loneliness that surrounds them like a sea. I ask that you bless them and teach them to see how they can make a difference for you. Father I pray that you will use me fully, make me a vessel of your peace of your grace and healing. Here I am father use me.

In your son’s victorious name I pray

Amen