Anticipation

Last week I was faced with a delicious opportunity; sacrifice. I was encouraged to take part in a church wide activity to draw closer to our heavenly father. Imagine several thousand believers all denying themselves in a form of personal worship to our savior. As I entered into this time I had a joy in my heart I had never before experienced. It was anticipation of something remarkable.

It is very much like my favorite verse of the bible Isaiah 40:31

“those that wait upon the lord with renew their strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles.”

The only thing is, as the week progressed each day I felt weaker. I would get short tempered, light headed, irritable. All these negative things yet each moment I experienced negativity I would pray. It is hard to describe the comfort I felt in these moments. It is what baby must experience in its mothers womb. There is a sense of a warm liquid enveloping you. You feel perfect contentment, perfect comfort and capture. You are secure. You know no pain, loneliness, fear, hunger or temptation. You are cared for, you are loved you are connected. This week I felt like this in God. Each moment of panicky desperation I would cry out to God in prayer and my father would answer. He would wrap me up in an embrace a supernatural embrace.

The devil prowled around the edges always looking for an angle of attack. A lustful thought here, an angry frustrated thought there. Yet he had no entry point. God was my rock and my protection. He would allow no attack to succeed. For five days I denied myself and God showed up so powerfully. He showed up in prayer comforting my soul, he showed up in a warm sunshine of a fading California afternoon. He showed up in a light breeze, in a business meeting going better than could be hoped for. He showed up in a confrontation that turned into peace. He showed up in worship and in love. He showed up in my children’s eyes as they watched their Dad sacrifice all week.

God showed up.

He renewed my strength.

He taught me a lesson I will never forget. Last post I wrote about how the end of our breath is the start of his. This week he showed me how it would work. All week I fasted. All week I was hungry. My body rebelled; my mind picked up its game everything in me save my soul fought against me. My flesh wanted me to live the lie of the world. The flesh is in control. You must eat, you must obey. You must be human. This lie, so cleverly disguised.

"It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' Matthew 4:4

This week I learned that no matter where we are in life we can cry out to God and he will answer. He will comfort, he will show up. When we reach the end of our self he will be there. He is our guide, our leader, our salvation our everything.

What an awesome lesson.

Yesterday after five hungry frustrating days my small group attended a church wide night of worship and prayer. We were there for the first two hours praising and praying.

The Lord is in the house!

No question. As I prayed I had a clear sense that the Holy Spirit had come upon me. He was in my prayer. What power, what an awesome God.

So the week ended. A week of sacrifice, a week of obedience a week of worship. Wow. What absolute joy, what revelation what an awesome God.

I cannot wait to do this again!

Father

I have no words, only the longing of my heart for you

Praise you