He Speaks

You know when I was just coming back to the faith I struggled with those who claimed supernatural intervention. Healings, conversations with God, speaking in tongues all these things used to make me extremely uncomfortable. Frankly most who claimed them I secretly thought were either quacks or at least a lot out of balance.

I think it was a combination of three factors that kept me from seeing God in these events. First I was a skeptic. As I reflect back on my skepticism now I realize this was actually an attack, a diversion. After all if these events were real and I could see it, how could my faith not be deepened. Second was fear. Again it goes like the old confrontational question either Christ was real or he was insane. He is real of course just so if these events were real then how could my faith in Christ not grow deeper. It seemed easier to resist this than embrace things I did not yet understand. Finally these events never happened to me. As an engineer, taught in the tradition of worldly science, I had no evidence to support the hypothesis. How then could it be objectively considered and proven, it could not.

So there I was a relatively naïve and new Christian trying to come to terms with things beyond my ability to process. Yet there was hope in Christ. It seems that the Holy Spirit had a remedial course in supernatural science planned for me. It started with a great kicking the gut. He revealed to me that there was an emptiness in my soul where only God could fit.

So in case there are any non Christians reading this let me state clearly that I have been extremely blessed. All of the usual arguments of how I could fall for Christianity fall short here. In worldly terms I am not weak, I am not unintelligent, and I am not unsuccessful. In heavenly terms I yes, consider myself all these things (weak, unintelligent, unsuccessful). May God be praised and receive all the glory for through his grace these are all washed away. For it is not about me. At all. I would rather be judged a fool by men than a fool by God. Got Christ? Only one answer is not foolish to this question.

Anyway, he kicked me in the gut, woke me up. He then started to reveal to me in very small glimpses his presence in my life. I have learned that he has always been there, waiting patently for me. These glimpses would come as improbable coincidence. A word spoken by multiple unrelated people into my life, a sermon that echoed a conversation held the previous day, a book found randomly that spoke to exactly what troubled me in the faith. For 10 years now these "coincidences" have continued. I recall after about three years feeling this sense that I needed to open myself up further to the holy spirit yet knowing that I was not ready. Surrender. I would learn later that even then I knew I had to surrender to my Lord.

The story continued a Men's bible study conducted over a one year period spoke the heart of the faith to me as each week revealed clearly theme after theme of the faith. Serving in leadership at my church taught me about selflessness and revealed my own lack of the same. Small groups taught me about the importance of love and community in the faith.

All these seemingly separate concepts kept coming together. Finally prayer, sorrowful, lonely prayers brought new friends into my life. Intercessory prayers for healing from cancer were answered. Prayers for deliverance from life's challenges answered. Prayers of self surrender answered with unimaginable opportunity.

So as I sit here now writing this post, I am aware of the transformation in my heart. When people speak in tongues, get healed, speak supernaturally, now I praise God for his revelation, his grace his kindness. No longer do I question whether it is real but how lasting the impact will be.

Does God Speak? Yes.

Father I praise you for your kindness, your mercy your intervention

I praise you for your patience

For waiting on me to get it

For your faithfulness

May I serve you in love always

Amen