He Speaks

You know when I was just coming back to the faith I struggled with those who claimed supernatural intervention. Healings, conversations with God, speaking in tongues all these things used to make me extremely uncomfortable. Frankly most who claimed them I secretly thought were either quacks or at least a lot out of balance.

I think it was a combination of three factors that kept me from seeing God in these events. First I was a skeptic. As I reflect back on my skepticism now I realize this was actually an attack, a diversion. After all if these events were real and I could see it, how could my faith not be deepened. Second was fear. Again it goes like the old confrontational question either Christ was real or he was insane. He is real of course just so if these events were real then how could my faith in Christ not grow deeper. It seemed easier to resist this than embrace things I did not yet understand. Finally these events never happened to me. As an engineer, taught in the tradition of worldly science, I had no evidence to support the hypothesis. How then could it be objectively considered and proven, it could not.

So there I was a relatively naïve and new Christian trying to come to terms with things beyond my ability to process. Yet there was hope in Christ. It seems that the Holy Spirit had a remedial course in supernatural science planned for me. It started with a great kicking the gut. He revealed to me that there was an emptiness in my soul where only God could fit.

So in case there are any non Christians reading this let me state clearly that I have been extremely blessed. All of the usual arguments of how I could fall for Christianity fall short here. In worldly terms I am not weak, I am not unintelligent, and I am not unsuccessful. In heavenly terms I yes, consider myself all these things (weak, unintelligent, unsuccessful). May God be praised and receive all the glory for through his grace these are all washed away. For it is not about me. At all. I would rather be judged a fool by men than a fool by God. Got Christ? Only one answer is not foolish to this question.

Anyway, he kicked me in the gut, woke me up. He then started to reveal to me in very small glimpses his presence in my life. I have learned that he has always been there, waiting patently for me. These glimpses would come as improbable coincidence. A word spoken by multiple unrelated people into my life, a sermon that echoed a conversation held the previous day, a book found randomly that spoke to exactly what troubled me in the faith. For 10 years now these "coincidences" have continued. I recall after about three years feeling this sense that I needed to open myself up further to the holy spirit yet knowing that I was not ready. Surrender. I would learn later that even then I knew I had to surrender to my Lord.

The story continued a Men's bible study conducted over a one year period spoke the heart of the faith to me as each week revealed clearly theme after theme of the faith. Serving in leadership at my church taught me about selflessness and revealed my own lack of the same. Small groups taught me about the importance of love and community in the faith.

All these seemingly separate concepts kept coming together. Finally prayer, sorrowful, lonely prayers brought new friends into my life. Intercessory prayers for healing from cancer were answered. Prayers for deliverance from life's challenges answered. Prayers of self surrender answered with unimaginable opportunity.

So as I sit here now writing this post, I am aware of the transformation in my heart. When people speak in tongues, get healed, speak supernaturally, now I praise God for his revelation, his grace his kindness. No longer do I question whether it is real but how lasting the impact will be.

Does God Speak? Yes.

Father I praise you for your kindness, your mercy your intervention

I praise you for your patience

For waiting on me to get it

For your faithfulness

May I serve you in love always

Amen

Praise Him

Tuesday evening I had the opportunity to attend a men’s barbecue hosted at our pastor’s house. There is something incredibly powerful about 200+ men gathering on a Tuesday after work to praise the Lord and study his word. I always look forward to this event and this time was no exception.

I had a rough day on Tuesday. One of those days where you feel not quite right. A queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach dominates your day. A feeling that foreshadows a coming storm of flu or something else. I discussed with my wife early that evening how I wanted to go to the Barbecue yet my body was telling me otherwise. Stay home rest, you will need it I reasoned. As I shared with my wife how I really wanted to attend yet…I realized GO, just go. If you really are sick deal with it later, what if this is a spiritual attack, a diversion to keep you away. What ever it was I reasoned it would be far better to deal with it when it happened rather than potentially robbing God of the glory of using me in a supernatural way. So off I went.

I have only attended my current church for about 18 months and frankly I still know very few men who attend. To make matters worse men are notorious for not being overly relational. A new guy could stand on the outskirts all night and not be noticed in most groups. This one was no different. So when I arrived I saw only two men I knew. I said hello to both, exchanged pleasantries and set off in search of food. I had an underlying goal to meet someone new this night. It was not a conscious goal; it was one of those goals that kind of whisper in your ear “sit beside someone new”. So I did. I introduced myself around the table and ended up chatting with a father and son duo. It was a friendly conversation that spanned travel, work life, area history and economics. After about 15 minutes an announcement came through by our pastor that each man should consider either leading or participating in our churches effort to see every attendee plugged into a small group. Isn’t it ironic that I, the new comer, had weeks back volunteered to lead a group and was in search of couples to join, while my new friend (the son of the duo) was searching for a group near his home that he and his wife could attend? Did I mention they live four blocks from my house?

How did it work out? Will they join the group? Will lives be changed? I have no idea. I only know that I must surrender myself entirely to the Lord's will, so that his purpose in my life might be fulfilled. Tuesday I listened for his voice and heard him. But this was not the only moment he spoke to me that night. No he was there with me that evening and thankfully gave me a few other wonderful stories and praises to share.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. Proverbs 3:5, 6

Father continue your Holy work in me

Teach me your ways, teach me your wisdom

Help me to remain open to your will in my life

More of you and less of me Father

Amen