Life is Funny...

Did you know I have three blogs? Did you know that I teach leadership development? That is the topic of the other two blogs. It is my gift, my calling. I love it when I am given the opportunity to help others grow. Other than in praise or prayer, this is the time I feel closest to God.

Did you know that my deepest passion is in this blog? I hope so, I hope that is clear in my words here. I shared a recent post with my Pastor as an encouragement for him. I wanted him to clearly know that he is making a difference for Jesus. It was a wake up call for me since I have never considered how this blog reflects my soul. I have simply opened up and wrote from deep inside. He asked me if he could share it with others. Gulp! I hadn’t thought of that!

You know though, life is funny. This is not so much my story as much as it is God’s glory. It is him acting in me that created this blog and all its content. Often I am aware that the Holy Spirit is writing for me. Really, I am not that good a writer.

My passion is for the Lord and what he is doing in this world through me. As I sit here I can think of at least three posts I am compelled to write for this blog. Sure I can come up with content for the other blogs but in this current season of my life they seem less important than sharing moments of my faith journey with each of you. May God be glorified!

Thanks for reading. It is my hope that this post is useful to you in some small way. Perhaps some struggle I relate will strike a chord in you and help you in your journey. Perhaps it is a small encouragement. For whatever it is, I praise God.

Dear Heavenly Father

For months now I have spoken to you

Asked you to heal broken relationships

Mend hearts, heal bodies, calm minds

I have asked for peace, redemption

Wisdom, love, knowledge, patience

Grant this Father

You know the depths of my soul

You know the stains on my heart

Today and every day I am an open book

I reveal to you all that I am

Search me father and know me

Correct my wrong ways

Create in me a clean heart Oh God

Renew my spirit

May all my days be in you

My hope, my life, my destiny

They are forever yours

My Lord, My God

Amen

Alright God, Tell me if I need to go!

This is the final installment in the story of the mens barbecue from last Tuesday evening. After an eloquent speech and persuasive argument on the compelling need for men to worship our heavenly father, our pastor leveled a challenge. Any man here tonight who has made a choice of his own making, who knows he is not in Gods will, in God's plan, come to the front so we can pray for you, so you can repent.

If you have read my previous posts (The Trip I, etc) you will know that for several months now I have been praying hard for our heavenly father to speak into my life his desire for me. Tell me your will and I WILL DO IT, what ever you say I will do, where ever I have to go I will. Use me.

I considered my daily prayer, my petition for direction and then contemplated my pastors question. I lifted up my thoughts to the Lord and said bluntly Do I need to go to the front? Say the word I will go...Nothing not a word, not an emotion, not a hint. I stayed in place this night and prayed for my Christian brothers arms raised in prayer over them invoking the name of our father to forgive each of them.

As I walked away that evening, the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach returned. But there was something else there too, resolve and peace. Yes I was attacked, but I had passed the test. The following day my resolve and obedience would turn to absolute joy as I worshiped my heavenly father with all my strength in song and exercise.

Father you are Holy
I praise your name above all
I praise you in the Hills
in the streets, in the dark places
I praise you now and forever more
I praise your Holy name
I praise you for your gift of grace

In your Son's victorious name I pray

Amen

Ron

Alright! The music just ended, we haven’t missed anything yet….

Our pastor spoke this oft heard quote that echoes the halls of our church as the praise music ends and the announcements and message are about to begin. Busted I was. My wife and I regularly show up during the first half hour of our service during the praise portion, reasoning, its just music we have not missed the message. How infinitely wrong we have been in this behavior.

Our pastor continued to teach us this Tuesday evening about the meaning of the greatest commandment

Love the Lord thy God with all your heart mind and soul Mark 12:30

When Jesus uttered these prophetic words to the Pharisees all those years ago, what he was saying that we need to worship at the feet of our heavenly father. Praise him, worship him, love him.

These words were a revolution inside my heart. In my stoic world of maintaining appearances I often consider my surroundings before I ever lift my hands in worship. Why is it so hard for a man of God to praise his heavenly father? Our pastor continued. As he wrapped up this message he shared a stance he had personally taken. He said he would rather be judged a fool by men then a fool by God. With that as a backdrop I considered my own behaviors. Truly I needed to be bolder in my own faith, to worship like David not caring what man said or thought. What a place to be left, resolute in finding my own voice of authentic worship.

The next day I found myself looking clearly toward my afternoon bike ride into the mountains. I knew what was coming. I was not just going to pray this day I would WORSHIP my Lord and Savior. At the peak of my ride I prayed earnestly for revelation, for courage, for peace. I interceded on behalf of some many people I love who are broken and hurting. Today my prayers were from my knees, where I belong. (The Lord had conveniently blown a piece of cardboard into the location where I pray each day, almost as if to welcome me and say I know what you need today). At the end of my prayer in abject humility I tried to cry out in song my worship of the Lord. Did I mention that I suck at singing. Not only that but no words came to mind from any of the worship songs I love.

Well the Lord will provide! (Remember a few posts back where the Lord told me to listen to my Ipod? He did so again. After all there are only about 300 Christian songs on the thing!)

I choose deliberately. Mercy Me came immediately to mind. Their music so soulful, the lyrics pull on my heart. I started “I can only imagine”. Yes imagine a grown man standing on the side of a mountain belting out, way out of tune, the lyrics of a song. No one else can hear the music; no one else knows what this crazy guy is singing about, just God and me. It was awesome, tears streamed down my face as I soaked in the lyrics (and yelled them out) of this beautiful song and for a brief moment could conceive of what it meant to really love God.

The ride down the mountain and back to my house was even more powerful for me. My poor bike strained under the continuous blows of rocks sticking above the trail. The chain rattled off the frame as I sped onward, downward fully engulfed in my own powerful, private worship session. I hit the bottom of the trail at full speed and attempted to make a gravelly high speed turn as Mercy Me pounded into my ears. The tires bit then slipped bit then slipped, over the top of the bike I went landing standing up. With a triumphant yell of praise I hooted and hollered to my savior. This wipe out is for you, you are my rock, my savior PRAISE YOUR NAME!!!

The ride continued onto city streets, the music even louder to drown out the sound of the wind whipping past my ears. 20 miles per hour 25, I was on fire. I could not go fast enough, sing loud enough. As I made the turn west to head home the wind was fully against me slowing me to a crawl. I labored to catch my breath, the fire of worship was now in my thighs. (I was tired, my muscles were burning). Each time I caught my breath I would rejoin the chorus of the latest song. I would run out of breath and stop singing long enough to start again. By the time I was within a mile of my house, everyone must of wondered who the crazy bikin singin guy was. What a powerful experience. I am left to ponder what my next worship experience will be and whether I will scare the kids in the neighborhood…

"I Can Only Imagine"

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

Father I praise your Holy name

amen

Praise Him

Tuesday evening I had the opportunity to attend a men’s barbecue hosted at our pastor’s house. There is something incredibly powerful about 200+ men gathering on a Tuesday after work to praise the Lord and study his word. I always look forward to this event and this time was no exception.

I had a rough day on Tuesday. One of those days where you feel not quite right. A queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach dominates your day. A feeling that foreshadows a coming storm of flu or something else. I discussed with my wife early that evening how I wanted to go to the Barbecue yet my body was telling me otherwise. Stay home rest, you will need it I reasoned. As I shared with my wife how I really wanted to attend yet…I realized GO, just go. If you really are sick deal with it later, what if this is a spiritual attack, a diversion to keep you away. What ever it was I reasoned it would be far better to deal with it when it happened rather than potentially robbing God of the glory of using me in a supernatural way. So off I went.

I have only attended my current church for about 18 months and frankly I still know very few men who attend. To make matters worse men are notorious for not being overly relational. A new guy could stand on the outskirts all night and not be noticed in most groups. This one was no different. So when I arrived I saw only two men I knew. I said hello to both, exchanged pleasantries and set off in search of food. I had an underlying goal to meet someone new this night. It was not a conscious goal; it was one of those goals that kind of whisper in your ear “sit beside someone new”. So I did. I introduced myself around the table and ended up chatting with a father and son duo. It was a friendly conversation that spanned travel, work life, area history and economics. After about 15 minutes an announcement came through by our pastor that each man should consider either leading or participating in our churches effort to see every attendee plugged into a small group. Isn’t it ironic that I, the new comer, had weeks back volunteered to lead a group and was in search of couples to join, while my new friend (the son of the duo) was searching for a group near his home that he and his wife could attend? Did I mention they live four blocks from my house?

How did it work out? Will they join the group? Will lives be changed? I have no idea. I only know that I must surrender myself entirely to the Lord's will, so that his purpose in my life might be fulfilled. Tuesday I listened for his voice and heard him. But this was not the only moment he spoke to me that night. No he was there with me that evening and thankfully gave me a few other wonderful stories and praises to share.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. Proverbs 3:5, 6

Father continue your Holy work in me

Teach me your ways, teach me your wisdom

Help me to remain open to your will in my life

More of you and less of me Father

Amen

A glimpse into my private worship time

My afternoon rides up into the San Gabriel mountains are holy to me. They are the time when I pray, I intercede on behalf of others, I beg forgiveness for my transgressions, I praise our Heavenly Father, I marvel at the wonder of his creation. Most of my prayer time takes place at the peak of the ride 1.5 miles straight up toward the heavens. My prayers start either as Samuel did so many millenia ago

Speak Lord for your servant is listening
1Samuel 3:9

or in praise through the psalms of David

I look onto the Hills
From where does my help come?
It comes from the Lord
Psalm 121

The ride itself is filled with the sounds of my Ipod. Most days I listen to the Daily Audio Bible. A wonderful podcast that tracks the one year bible. There is no more important activity in my life than to spend quality time in the word. I am extremely blessed to have found this podcast in April and have faithfully listened to the word every day since. In fact my thirst for the word is so strong that I have also listened to Jan through April so that at the end of the year I will have covered the whole bible.

The man behind the DAB, as it is affectionately known, is a music producer and artist from Tennessee, Brian Hardin. This ministry took hold of him and is now central to his life. I have listened through his sickness, exhaustion, and wacked out travel schedules as he faithfully reads each day. In his August summary Brian shared some insight that really hit me as to our duty to be engaged in the realm of the spirit. We must recognize the stakes of our faith and what the enemy is trying to steal from us. I asked Brian if I could share some of his summary and he kindly agreed. I think you will find it as profound as I did.

Brian Hardin

The Daily Audio bible

I am really starting to not just look at life randomly. This is the second time through the bible here. I am starting to get a sense that we must be aware of our situation and aware that the realm of the spirit is real. Its one way or the other, I have said this before, it’s either real or its not. It cannot be sort of real whenever I am feeling partway cosmic and mystical and then most of the rest of the time I don’t believe any of it. I am attached to the physical realm and just too busy to care.

I am personally getter better about this and I have chosen to believe that the spiritual battle over my heart that is spoken of in the bible is real. I try to take into context everything that is going on around me and sense what God is saying or what might be opposed to what we are doing. I have noticed even more than ever because the Daily Audio Bible exists that part of the opposition is because of what it is. I guess me sitting behind this mike makes me a bit of a target. For the most part you cover me with your prayers those around me do and God does because this is his word.

I have become even more aware of the profound effect that the scriptures have on my life is and it is a powerful thing. It has radically changed the way I look at the world. I know I am not alone because I get emails from many of you I know I am not alone and that we are doing this as a community.

Thanks Brian for letting me post this.

Father
We come before you as simple beings
we are not always aware of the battle
that rages all around us
Our souls hang in the balance
But through your son by accepting his gift of profound grace
we are saved from eternal damnation
Father we thank you we praise you
I ask that you provide my brother Brian with a hedge of spiritual protection
Father continue to bless and grow his ministry
Let this ministry reach the whole world for Christ your son

Amen

Ron Hurst

The Trip IV: Duty and Self

Most of us in North America are accustomed to having a fairly generous zone of personal space. Our personal space is reserved for a select group ourselves of course and those with whom we are most intimate. In fact one of the ways we can determine how close someone is with another is by how close they get to one another and how comfortable they are when they do so. The closer and more comfortable, the more intimate the relationship in general pretty simple right?

Well, in late August I spent 6 days with my parents and eldest sister helping my mother to prepare for cancer surgery. Because of constrained time lines, further constrained budgets I ended up having precious few moments to myself alone. Sharing a hotel room with my father and all waking moments with my mom dad and sister. This is treasured time as I consider the gravity of why I am visiting. Life is short and relationships matter. I wanted to be fully present and serve with a heart like Jesus while there.

Conflicting with this was my need to be alone. Alone time is my opportunity to pray and praise God, to intercede on behalf of others in need, to seek wisdom and understanding, to seek forgiveness and healing. Other than washroom time I had zero time alone for six days. Praying in the washroom is okay but not ideal to say the least. I can't pray with my parents their catholic roots and mindset just doesn't get my relationship with Jesus. My sister is too hurt to believe right now. But she did ask about my faith praise God...

So I struggled mightily to hold this dichotomy in check and get through this time in such a way that my parents and sister knew without doubt my love for each of them. It was a challenging time, it taxed my patience to the limit, it sapped my energy down way too low, it drew heavily upon my spiritual batteries.

You know the moment before I left after the operation was over and my mom appeared to be on the mend, my father gave me a priceless gift. As he thanked me for being there and said goodbye, his voice cracked just a bit. Just enough.

No words but I knew what he was saying "I love you son, thanks for being here for your mother and I"

If you read my previous posts you will know that this is the secret way my family communicates. No outward shows of affection, just stoic acts sometimes with the cracks of emotion that say the words that cannot be spoken.

So my mom was on the mend that day and I hoped a jet for home a few thousand miles away. Secured in my heart was the knowledge that I had honored my mother and father.

I only pray that it will go well for them.

Father

I praise you
Your healing hand
Your gentle son Jesus
Your grace
Your omnipotence
Your plans for us
Your glory revealed
Your majesty and creation
Your unbounded love

I thank you for the healing hand you placed on my family
I thank you for your deliverance

Blessed be your name in all the nations on all the earth

In your sons victorious name I pray

Amen