Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Grandfather: Integrity

When I was a young boy my hero was my grand father. My grandpa was a towering man at least to a little guy he was. 6 foot 1 inches tall solid and stoic. He was the kind of guy you read about, the kind of guy you can’t help but admire. My grandpa was a simple guy took care of his family worked very hard to provide. Even in the darkest days of the great depression in the 1930’s he would do what he had to do. Work odd jobs, work on farms, hunt for game whatever it took to provide for my mom and her family. As I was growing up I loved to stand in his shadow, follow him wherever he went. If he fished I was there, if he hunted I tagged along, working the family farm I went along there too. Heads together underneath a car fixing something, cutting wood on the latest project whatever.

I remember hunting with him one hot fall day. We trudged through the woods him with his shotgun me with a stick that I imagined could take down an elephant. I was only 6 years old at the time imagination runs big when you are small. I think we were hunting for moose maybe a deer. I don’t know. I was too busy trying to be brave like my grandfather. I imagined my stick my gun was the most powerful gun that I would single handed take down a deer. All the while I was scared. I had never seen a wild animal up close and never ever seen an animal shot. We didn’t find anything that day and trudged back to our car and back to the cabin. Him disappointed and me thrilled to have spent the day with him

No matter what he did I wanted to do it.

We went fishing a lot spending time on the water waiting for a bite. I actually used to collect earth worms and carry them around in my pockets hoping that I would get to go fishing with him again. That all ended when my mom found a pocket full of worms in the wash one day. MY butt hurt for days after that!

No matter what he did I wanted to do it too.

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I would say imitation was the sincerest way I could tell my grandfather I loved him. I learned what it meant to be a man from him in those days. What it meant to be a father, a husband, a family man, a leader. I learned so much from him.

The most significant thing I learned from my grandfather though was a simple idea that seems to be forgotten these days. It is a concept that people for centuries prided themselves on. It encompasses the idea of dependability, reliability, honesty and caring. It is a simple thing yet an elusive thing sometimes as we face the challenges of life.

Integrity.

Do you have a definition for this word? Do you think it is the same for your neighbor? You see this is part of the challenge everyone seems to want to define this word differently. If they do they stand a better chance of living up to the expectation. They can add conditions under which they are no longer required to live up to their commitments

Now I can throw words around like the best of them. I can write, I can argue, I can persuade with words. No problem. I can come up with a really long and complex definition to this word filled with all kinds of escape clauses. I could…

But you know in the end this really matters very little. You see you can put any words you like to integrity but what it really is about the heart of it is very simple.

Do your words match your actions?

When I was a little boy following my grandfather around I was receiving a life lesson in integrity. He was showing me that a man makes a commitment then lives up to it. A man signs up in life for certain responsibilities, to be a father, a husband, a friend, a neighbor, a Christian. With each of these responsibilities he says you can count on me to do exactly what I say I will do. Yes I might stumble from time to time, I might make mistakes and let someone down, I might hurt someone I love. Yes I might do all of those things but in my heart I am committed to the idea that I will keep my word to those around me. And when I don’t I will seek forgiveness and resolve in my commitment not to repeat my earlier stumble.

I used to love to listen to my grandfathers stories. There was one story where in the 1930’s while he was out of work and scrapping to put food on his families table he was out hunting. He managed to get several rabbits that day and was on his way walking home. His family would eat well tonight. On the way he was stopped by a stranger. The stranger a thin tall man looked hungrily at the rabbits. He said I have an offer for you. “I own 30 acres on the hill behind you and I will trade it for the rabbits in your hand.” My grandfather thought carefully on the matter. That was a lot of land, someday he could have been rich even a millionaire if he said yes and handed over the rabbits. But then he, his wife my mother and her two sisters and brother would go hungry. “No deal” he calmly exclaimed. “No deal” His family was too important to him. Here I was over thirty years later hearing the story of how he might have been a millionaire. When I was young this story was about the money for me. It was a story of what could have been. You see there was a big fancy golf course built on hat land he owner had to be a rich man. That could have been my families golf course.

But I had missed the stories real meaning. I hadn’t seen the love, the sacrifice a man had made for his family. Love, integrity that was the story that was the lesson.


There is much to this story I will continue another day...


By the way I have not forgotten the story of Extraordinary. Not at all in fact the last several months have been a study in diving deeper with God, stumbling along the way but not being discouraged or distracted. We will come back to that story as well.

Friday, October 26, 2007

What's in your Wallet

I want to share with you a post I wrote on my other blog about four months ago. The lesson in the post was values and your awareness of them. In light of what is happening in communities all around my own in Southern California, this post is more relevant than ever. My perspective on the matter has if anything strengthened. What is in my wallet faith in an everlasting, ever forgiving ever loving all powerful God who gave his only son so that I might be saved, who sends his Holy Spirit to be with me each day.

Here is the post

What's in your Wallet...?

Priorities…

In October of 2003 the Mountains of San Bernardino County were awash in flames. The Grand Prix fire was in its glory burning across the countryside like a fully loaded freight train. Every evening the members of my community would gather on their street and watch as the flames glowed in the distance coming ever closer to our homes.

Rancho Cucamonga is on the edge of the deserts of southern California. It has a hot arid climate that is unforgiving in the dead of summer. Temperatures regularly top 115 degrees. Rain is scarce here. When the old song claimed it never rains in southern California, they were not kidding. A couple inches in January, February, a sprinkle in July and that’s about it for the year. You can imagine that all the brush and scrub is scorched and dry by the time the fall, I mean the fire season approaches. 03 was a particularly active and deadly year in so-Cal. It was a blessing that no one died in the Grand Prix fire but seven fire fighters down toward San Diego were not so lucky later that season in the OLD fire. Remember to say a prayer for those brave fire fighters and their families as they continue coping with their loss.

It was a Friday morning in late October. I remember it clearly because I awoke to a strong smell of smoke. I went outside to see where the fire had progressed to and was shocked. It was less than a mile from my house. Although I lived over a half mile from the fire line with other suburbs directly between my family and the fire, there was still cause for concern. You see there is an electrical right of way cutting down from the mountains running along the back wall of all my neighbors’ houses across the street from my house. The fire could burn up to within 300 feet of my front door. If the fire burns down here I thought all bets are off. It did!

So imagine being faced with an unthinkable situation. Your house and all your worldly possessions could go up in flames any minute.

What do you do?

What do you think about?

Do you panic?

Do you reach out for help?

Moments like these are, as one writer put it, when true character is revealed. I watched with fascination as a few of my neighbors packed everything conceivable into their oversized SUV’s and off to a safe place they scurried. Others casually sought hotel reservations and made a short holiday of the affair. What did I do?

I took stock of the situation and considered my values. Faith Family, Integrity, Learning Teaching. I decided that only the first two were at play here. Everything I “own” is on loan. I am a steward of the possessions God gave me. This made the decision easy. The stuff is irrelevant. It might be a good idea to grab the will, the insurance policies and the photos that could not be replaced, but that’s it. Next take care of the family. We were fortunate to be invited to stay in the home of a dear friend and pastor of our church. Tim welcomed us into his home and allowed us to ride it out. We never did worry about all the stuff. I returned home to see what was going on in the neighborhood that Saturday and saw a scene that only brave firefighters should ever see. Pitch black at 11 am. Air so thick you could cut it with a knife; ash and flaming debris floating down from the sky all around.

That fateful day taught me a lesson about myself and others. We all value something. I have heard it said that if you want to know what a person values study their check book or perhaps their debit card receipts these days. Where people spend their money is a pretty good indication of what they value. So to quote the credit card commercial…

What’s in your wallet?

Ron


Father

Today I lift up those brave souls who serve our community
those who volunteer to protect us

Father

keep all your fire fighters safe this day and all the days to come
I pray that all those misguided souls who stayed to save their homes would be with you today that they would be welcomed by you

All those caught by this tragedy would be comforted by you

In your victorious name I pray

amen