Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Grandfather: Integrity

When I was a young boy my hero was my grand father. My grandpa was a towering man at least to a little guy he was. 6 foot 1 inches tall solid and stoic. He was the kind of guy you read about, the kind of guy you can’t help but admire. My grandpa was a simple guy took care of his family worked very hard to provide. Even in the darkest days of the great depression in the 1930’s he would do what he had to do. Work odd jobs, work on farms, hunt for game whatever it took to provide for my mom and her family. As I was growing up I loved to stand in his shadow, follow him wherever he went. If he fished I was there, if he hunted I tagged along, working the family farm I went along there too. Heads together underneath a car fixing something, cutting wood on the latest project whatever.

I remember hunting with him one hot fall day. We trudged through the woods him with his shotgun me with a stick that I imagined could take down an elephant. I was only 6 years old at the time imagination runs big when you are small. I think we were hunting for moose maybe a deer. I don’t know. I was too busy trying to be brave like my grandfather. I imagined my stick my gun was the most powerful gun that I would single handed take down a deer. All the while I was scared. I had never seen a wild animal up close and never ever seen an animal shot. We didn’t find anything that day and trudged back to our car and back to the cabin. Him disappointed and me thrilled to have spent the day with him

No matter what he did I wanted to do it.

We went fishing a lot spending time on the water waiting for a bite. I actually used to collect earth worms and carry them around in my pockets hoping that I would get to go fishing with him again. That all ended when my mom found a pocket full of worms in the wash one day. MY butt hurt for days after that!

No matter what he did I wanted to do it too.

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I would say imitation was the sincerest way I could tell my grandfather I loved him. I learned what it meant to be a man from him in those days. What it meant to be a father, a husband, a family man, a leader. I learned so much from him.

The most significant thing I learned from my grandfather though was a simple idea that seems to be forgotten these days. It is a concept that people for centuries prided themselves on. It encompasses the idea of dependability, reliability, honesty and caring. It is a simple thing yet an elusive thing sometimes as we face the challenges of life.

Integrity.

Do you have a definition for this word? Do you think it is the same for your neighbor? You see this is part of the challenge everyone seems to want to define this word differently. If they do they stand a better chance of living up to the expectation. They can add conditions under which they are no longer required to live up to their commitments

Now I can throw words around like the best of them. I can write, I can argue, I can persuade with words. No problem. I can come up with a really long and complex definition to this word filled with all kinds of escape clauses. I could…

But you know in the end this really matters very little. You see you can put any words you like to integrity but what it really is about the heart of it is very simple.

Do your words match your actions?

When I was a little boy following my grandfather around I was receiving a life lesson in integrity. He was showing me that a man makes a commitment then lives up to it. A man signs up in life for certain responsibilities, to be a father, a husband, a friend, a neighbor, a Christian. With each of these responsibilities he says you can count on me to do exactly what I say I will do. Yes I might stumble from time to time, I might make mistakes and let someone down, I might hurt someone I love. Yes I might do all of those things but in my heart I am committed to the idea that I will keep my word to those around me. And when I don’t I will seek forgiveness and resolve in my commitment not to repeat my earlier stumble.

I used to love to listen to my grandfathers stories. There was one story where in the 1930’s while he was out of work and scrapping to put food on his families table he was out hunting. He managed to get several rabbits that day and was on his way walking home. His family would eat well tonight. On the way he was stopped by a stranger. The stranger a thin tall man looked hungrily at the rabbits. He said I have an offer for you. “I own 30 acres on the hill behind you and I will trade it for the rabbits in your hand.” My grandfather thought carefully on the matter. That was a lot of land, someday he could have been rich even a millionaire if he said yes and handed over the rabbits. But then he, his wife my mother and her two sisters and brother would go hungry. “No deal” he calmly exclaimed. “No deal” His family was too important to him. Here I was over thirty years later hearing the story of how he might have been a millionaire. When I was young this story was about the money for me. It was a story of what could have been. You see there was a big fancy golf course built on hat land he owner had to be a rich man. That could have been my families golf course.

But I had missed the stories real meaning. I hadn’t seen the love, the sacrifice a man had made for his family. Love, integrity that was the story that was the lesson.


There is much to this story I will continue another day...


By the way I have not forgotten the story of Extraordinary. Not at all in fact the last several months have been a study in diving deeper with God, stumbling along the way but not being discouraged or distracted. We will come back to that story as well.