Whatsoever You Do to the Least of My Brothers

Has it really been that long?!

2011-11-16T08:38:00.000-08:00

Wow!

I haven't been on this blog in a year and a half. So much has happened in this span of time. I am profoundly happy to say that my walk with Jesus has deepened significantly. So many things have changed.

Its funny in April 2011 one year after my last post I resigned from my J O B in corporate America to pursue a life as an entrepreneur. God had placed in me then confirmed multiple times that his design for my life was to work for him and me, not to work for a company. its a lot like my favorite verse in Isaiah (40:31)

"Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles"

That is exactly how it felt to take the risk of soaring into God's arms rather than relying on my own abilities. Perhaps you have seen the trust fall. The exercise where you close your eyes cross your arms and fall backward into the arms of a team of people. That was me falling into his arms ignoring the advice and wisdom of the world.

I set a new career goal.

To be confident in my dependance on God to provide.

A cool yet scary goal

While it has not been easy and there have been some stressful uncertain times, while the workload is double what it was in corporate america it is worth it simply to know that God has my back, he has my finances, he cares for me he will never leave me nor forsake me.

Praise God

Amen

Sad Women

2010-04-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sad Women…

Last week I commented on a blog I had been reading recently about the state of male leadership in the Church. I contacted the author, Rev. Mark Brown and talked to him today. In our discussion he asked if I had read the comments in that post. Yes I had, I told him. The vast number of women who responded to his article shocked me. Where are all the men?!

He responded "A whole lot of sad women"

He was right. As I read the comments my heart was torn out by the carnage left. It was like a train wreck with women's hearts laid waste all over the road. A failed marriage, despair, a cheating husband, apathy, ignorance. AGGHHH!

THIS HAS TO STOP!!!

WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN?!

How do we get men to take their rightful role as leaders in the Church?

Well I have a few ideas.

Not ideas exactly more like plays in a field book that has been battered and worn down.

Ever heard the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result...

Honestly I think that is what happens when it comes to men in the Church. We have work parties; we have breakfasts maybe even barbeques. Events!

A Pastor I recently met did a great sermon recently on this. Pastor Bayless Conley called it Process versus Event. We in the Church seem to be event junkies. We go from event to event speaking christianese, trying to look Holy, hoping that the next event will be the mountain top experience we seek so desperately. After all if we can get back to the mountain top we can be with our God, and all will be well, all will be right, RIGHT?

Look following Christ is a day by day, minute by minute process. The important thing about events in my opinion is they mark the mile markers in the journey, that's it. Well yeah they are also times of intimacy with our Heavenly Father and that is a very good thing. But stop, what makes you think that we can only find God on a mountaintop? He is everywhere, he is always and forever, his love is everlasting. He wants us to be in relationship with him.

So look, stop the whole event junkie crap. You might get a man's attention for maybe a millisecond with an event but not his heart.

If you want to connect with the heart of a man you start elsewhere.

Be a Man!

Here is a radical idea treat him like...a man. Treat him with respect, with dignity. laugh with him, cheer with him, sweat with him, stand with him. Here is the most important part, give him permission to be a man.

Yeah I said it. Men are competitive, they are hard on the outside, they love to play hard and respect those who will stand in with them when they do. Don't you remember the schoolyards of our youth? Back before guns and gangs became the rage and fear of the day. What happened when a boy had a beef with another boy? They had a fistfight. Often the outcome of these was not the making of mortal enemies but good and even best friends.

Let a guy be rough, let him be masculine.

Jesus was tough, a Man’s Man

Remove all the crappy expectations that my Hero, the lion of Judah was meek and wimpy. My God is a hero, he is courageous, he is a warrior at heart. He knew how to be a real man. A man who oozed masculinity. ALL the way to the Cross at Calvary.

Don't ask a Man to wear a metaphorical Skirt!

Guys don't want to come to Church and hug like the women do. They don't want to stand around with soft low voices saying bless you brother. They don’t want to stand around with china doll smiles pretending to enjoy the sermon. Nah they want to hug for real, a slap you on the back, shake your hand and laugh at a crappy joke hug that says Yeah I'm here. Yeah I see you. You are alright by me. That is the way of men. Let a man be a man.

WE START THERE…

Father walk with me through this line of passion you gave me. Help me to share the passion for your men that you have burdened on my heart. May your men WAKE UP, may they come to you thirsty, to love you, to follow you.

Let you will be done in your men

Amen

Read a Great but Sad Post today

2010-04-08T05:43:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through Facebook this morning and came across a headline about why there are so few male leaders in the Church today. Check it out here.

Normally I glance at articles and skip on by but this one was tugging at my heart. As a leader in Men's ministry and a guy myself I know exactly what the author was talking about. So I commented back. But this is such an important issue to me I wanted to share a piece of my comment with you here.

I am saddened by the state of the Church and the lack of male leadership. The bible is clear on this point. As a volunteer leader in my churches mens ministry I do all God wills me and I can to raise up men as leaders. I have been blessed to lead a Men’s group that is now over 60 strong with a clear vision to raise every man up to be a leader in their home, their Church and their community. AND Praise God we are seeing the fruit of our labor as my men slowly enter into other ministries intent on making a difference for God throughout our church.

Honestly I believe the Church has done little to engage men in ways that meet them where they are and stay relevant through their healing and growth. Broken men aren’t interested in hyper-spiritual platitudes or seemingly meaningless religious advice nor are they interested in being treated like a pack mule and taking on every service project that requires a strong back, good heart and a pick up truck.

Who can men trust?

That is the relevant question here. Can I get to know you and trust you the man says quietly to himself. Will you get to know me, not judge me in my brokenness, not laugh at me, not send me to a fix it class. Will you know me, stand beside me, play with me sometimes, work with me occasionally, cheer for our team with me, stand silently and mourn with me when necessary. Then I might show up and ask you to pray for me. Then I might take the risk to open my mouth and worship in front of you. Then I might take a first cautious step toward leading something.

Why are there so few male leaders in the Church? I am not convinced we (the Church) know how to reach them…

To those who lead, with diligence

Be blessed

Ron

My Grandfather: Integrity

2010-03-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

When I was a young boy my hero was my grand father. My grandpa was a towering man at least to a little guy he was. 6 foot 1 inches tall solid and stoic. He was the kind of guy you read about, the kind of guy you can’t help but admire. My grandpa was a simple guy took care of his family worked very hard to provide. Even in the darkest days of the great depression in the 1930’s he would do what he had to do. Work odd jobs, work on farms, hunt for game whatever it took to provide for my mom and her family. As I was growing up I loved to stand in his shadow, follow him wherever he went. If he fished I was there, if he hunted I tagged along, working the family farm I went along there too. Heads together underneath a car fixing something, cutting wood on the latest project whatever.

I remember hunting with him one hot fall day. We trudged through the woods him with his shotgun me with a stick that I imagined could take down an elephant. I was only 6 years old at the time imagination runs big when you are small. I think we were hunting for moose maybe a deer. I don’t know. I was too busy trying to be brave like my grandfather. I imagined my stick my gun was the most powerful gun that I would single handed take down a deer. All the while I was scared. I had never seen a wild animal up close and never ever seen an animal shot. We didn’t find anything that day and trudged back to our car and back to the cabin. Him disappointed and me thrilled to have spent the day with him

No matter what he did I wanted to do it.

We went fishing a lot spending time on the water waiting for a bite. I actually used to collect earth worms and carry them around in my pockets hoping that I would get to go fishing with him again. That all ended when my mom found a pocket full of worms in the wash one day. MY butt hurt for days after that!

No matter what he did I wanted to do it too.

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I would say imitation was the sincerest way I could tell my grandfather I loved him. I learned what it meant to be a man from him in those days. What it meant to be a father, a husband, a family man, a leader. I learned so much from him.

The most significant thing I learned from my grandfather though was a simple idea that seems to be forgotten these days. It is a concept that people for centuries prided themselves on. It encompasses the idea of dependability, reliability, honesty and caring. It is a simple thing yet an elusive thing sometimes as we face the challenges of life.

Integrity.

Do you have a definition for this word? Do you think it is the same for your neighbor? You see this is part of the challenge everyone seems to want to define this word differently. If they do they stand a better chance of living up to the expectation. They can add conditions under which they are no longer required to live up to their commitments

Now I can throw words around like the best of them. I can write, I can argue, I can persuade with words. No problem. I can come up with a really long and complex definition to this word filled with all kinds of escape clauses. I could…

But you know in the end this really matters very little. You see you can put any words you like to integrity but what it really is about the heart of it is very simple.

Do your words match your actions?

When I was a little boy following my grandfather around I was receiving a life lesson in integrity. He was showing me that a man makes a commitment then lives up to it. A man signs up in life for certain responsibilities, to be a father, a husband, a friend, a neighbor, a Christian. With each of these responsibilities he says you can count on me to do exactly what I say I will do. Yes I might stumble from time to time, I might make mistakes and let someone down, I might hurt someone I love. Yes I might do all of those things but in my heart I am committed to the idea that I will keep my word to those around me. And when I don’t I will seek forgiveness and resolve in my commitment not to repeat my earlier stumble.

I used to love to listen to my grandfathers stories. There was one story where in the 1930’s while he was out of work and scrapping to put food on his families table he was out hunting. He managed to get several rabbits that day and was on his way walking home. His family would eat well tonight. On the way he was stopped by a stranger. The stranger a thin tall man looked hungrily at the rabbits. He said I have an offer for you. “I own 30 acres on the hill behind you and I will trade it for the rabbits in your hand.” My grandfather thought carefully on the matter. That was a lot of land, someday he could have been rich even a millionaire if he said yes and handed over the rabbits. But then he, his wife my mother and her two sisters and brother would go hungry. “No deal” he calmly exclaimed. “No deal” His family was too important to him. Here I was over thirty years later hearing the story of how he might have been a millionaire. When I was young this story was about the money for me. It was a story of what could have been. You see there was a big fancy golf course built on hat land he owner had to be a rich man. That could have been my families golf course.

But I had missed the stories real meaning. I hadn’t seen the love, the sacrifice a man had made for his family. Love, integrity that was the story that was the lesson.

There is much to this story I will continue another day...

By the way I have not forgotten the story of Extraordinary. Not at all in fact the last several months have been a study in diving deeper with God, stumbling along the way but not being discouraged or distracted. We will come back to that story as well.

Extraordinary! Ch3 Storing Up Treasure

2009-10-20T05:33:00.000-07:00

So I am saved by grace and not by works so that I may not boast… Eph 2:8-9

Okay I get that, can’t earn your way to heaven. For we all must appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that everyone may receive what is due to him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 2 Cor 5:9-10

Why? If I am already saved why the judgment? What possible consequence could there be that a judgment necessitates?

I don’t know about you but for well over ten years I have wondered about these questions and frankly no one has adequately answered them.

Well I found an eloquent answer in the pages of Extraordinary Chapter 3. Amazing to me that John continues to hit homeruns, dealing with and helping me through core issues, areas of struggle in my faith life. I read through chapter 3 wondering where John would go now that he had already rocked my perspective on God’s love.

When we die we will go before Christ who will act as our advocate telling the father this one is mine and we will be saved on our way to heaven. But there are several peculiar scriptures that talk about that same judgment in different ways and other scriptures that encourage us to store up treasures in heaven where moth and rust cannot destroy. Why?

For that matter what about the Christians that struggle mightily with last minute converts to the faith. The mass murderer who repents seconds before execution. Will they share in the same eternity as us?

Well that last one is a big ole can of worms but all these arguments and issues relate to the same core issue. What happens at the judgment?

John cunningly uses multiple scripture to support the argument that each will be judged and afforded heavenly treasure as it relates to our acts once saved. If we lead an ordinary life not living up to God’s unique plan for our life, we can expect little treasure. Lead an extraordinary life and watch the treasure be heaped up on us.

Now I have no idea what you need treasure for in eternity but sounds pretty cool to be well rewarded in heaven. In fact as I reflected on this possibility it gave me great joy to think that I could do kingdom work and get rewarded for it. Not that I do so expecting reward, not at all. My purpose in serving had always been to say to God, here is an offering of love for you, I do this because I love you.

So you see as I contemplated this chapter I found myself in a new place. A place where a deep fundamental question had been answered and joy came welling up. Joy that I serve the creator of the universe and he wants to reward me for doing so. That is cool!

As I prayed at the end of the chapter content in what had been revealed, another thought came...

Don't read any more of this book for at least four days. Take the time to reflect on the challenge at the end.

In your life now how are you pleasing God? How might you please him more?
What do you believe is God's special plan for you?

EXTRAORDINARY! Ch1-2 Gods Love

2009-10-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

It was a cool fall day in so Cal, a day that stands out as there are few October days that stay below 70 degrees. This is the type of day I love; grey overcast and cool, threat of rain, it kind of reminded me of the steely grey days of Canada in my youth.

This day was special I had a new book to read.

I should say that I am an avid reader. It is not uncommon for me to read over 100 books a year. Yet in the past 6 months I could not even pick up a book. They simply held no interest to me. I had wondered why for months but allowed my time to be consumed with thee many other demands of my life. NOT today! Today I would crack open John Bevere's new book Extraordinary. Before I did so I earnestly asked God to reveal to me his wisdom as I read every word.

As I read this book implore me to read sequentially cover to cover I shrugged. I do that with every book I read, odd though for an author to ask for that behavior. When I got into the argument of God's love I understood why. This book builds on a firm foundation that must be built to gain the most value.

I read the chapter on God's love for us checking every scripture as I read and contemplating on each. What a powerful exercise. I ended the chapter reading John's challenge. Three points

Do you believe God loves you unconditionally?

If you do not is it based on feelings or what God has spoken?

Make a decision to believe Gods word.

Well as I reflected on these questions, sitting at a local park I like to frequent, God spoke to me.

You see on question 1 the answer came quickly

I don't know that He loves me unconditionally...

Heck I am not even sure He loves me.

How could He love me? How could He even know me? If He knew me surely He would be ashamed of me.

I worked through this emotion and with His help came to an interesting place. Yes He loves me, He just doesn't like my behavior much lately.

Clearly my opinion regarding His love was based on my feelings which I know to be deceptive.

The final challenge was extremely powerful for me. I believe in the gospel hence I believe in His word. He says He loves me. I heard a thought to read all the verses demonstrating God's love in the bible. I did so later that day and was surrounded by a sense of peace and comfort as I did so.

You know He does love me and He loves you to. Do you know His love.

PRAISE YOUR HOLY NAME FATHER.

Thank you for loving me

Thank you for not giving up on me

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

Amen

EXTRORDINARY!

2009-10-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

Well long time no write...

I have spent some time out in the dark fighting demons and other characters of satan's creation. Mostly I have been fighting myself...for months. It has been a dark time with moments of bright light. Enough light to not lose hope but more darkness than I ever wanted to experience ever. Despite being lost I soldiered on fighting, winning some battles, losing others, caring for Gods people, falling into pits of selfishness. Will the battle ever abate Father? Will you help me? Will you deliver me from this swamp of despair? His answer was certainly unexpected.

I discovered with clarity God's love for me, my desire to please him and my desire to serve him.

This discovery came from the most unlikely source. A book.

This past weekend a new dear friend Pastor Gary Hornsby of The Rivers Edge hosted a leadership conference at my church. The keynote speaker at the conference was a guy named John Bevere. I knew of John because my small group is studying one of his curriculum on Drawing Near to God. Funny though I fall asleep during every video segment of this study. ATTACK ATTACK the darkness not wanting me to see something, I should have known.

I struggled through the first several hours of the conference feeling I had little right, desire, motivation, whatever to be there. Despite this a voice in the back of my head reminded me of the need to fight through where I was and worship the Lord anyway. I did and spent the entire time of worship in repentance. Alternating between worship and despair. God won.

After some preliminaries John began to speak. I have to admit my expectations were low after all I could not stay awake during video segments of this guy, how would I do with him live for two hours after an intense 60 hour work week. Man was I wrong. John talked about his new book Extraordinary: The Life You're Meant to Live . By the time he was done for the evening I was hooked.

The following afternoon John retook the stage and continued to explain how we as Christians are not called to mediocrity but to the Extraordinary. So I bought his book and decided to read it with new eyes, remember the old post? I want to read this book with the eyes of my heart.

So in this series of posts I will chronicle chapter by chapter what my journey through this book is. You see I am only a few chapters in and already I can see that God desperately wanted me to read this book. My journey need not be so dark, he has offered me a light to guide my path and I want to share the journey with you.

'The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zep 3:17

PRAISE BE HIS HOLY NAME

AMEN

Limping Out: Requiem Well Almost #1

2009-05-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was exactly 4 months to the day since I about killed myself hiking.

I would like to say I am fully healed and that all is normal. Spiritually speaking I have been fully healed since that day. As I said before the presence of God was so clear in the hours following my accident that I knew I was healed. Funny thing though my ankle did not get the memo. The first six weeks were difficult to say the least. Somewhere around 10 weeks I realized I was “almost” normal again. This despite all my wise friends and colleagues saying it might never heal fully. Yeah thanks I would say. I started working out in week 10 and have been doing so now for 6 weeks. I feel alive and strong. Energy levels climbing by the day. Still though my ankle did not get the memo. A missed placed step and a dull shooting pain was my reward. A stretch of a joint that just won’t go as far as it used to…

Throughout this ordeal I wanted to live the wisdom “if you fall get right back up and try again”. I desperately wanted to go back up the mountain and thank God for my deliverance. I wanted to run the dirt and rock through my hand in the spot I fell. I wanted to see the blood stains in the ground where I came to rest. I wanted to retrace my steps as God carried me out of that place. The desire to return was overwhelming. Only thing is I knew that I could not too early, I had to be fit and strong.

My wife and friends wanted me to take a friend, they wanted me to play it safe. Common sense sure, wise advice certainly, but is that the way of a real man? How could I go back into Gods country with a safety net?! No this was a journey I had to take alone.

I decided to ride my mountain bike up there this time. I had always wanted to do so in the past but was not fit enough for the cardio beating it took to do so. I have no friends capable of this ride and only a few acquaintances who could and they just would not get the significance of the ride so I rode it alone.

I got to within half a mile before I had to walk. Travelling off-road up a mountain trail for over five miles will wear you down like no other workout I know, it just never ends. As I approached the mound I was stunned. You see I had secretly begun to think I has exaggerated its size. No it could not have been over 40 feet high. It was higher, at least 60! It was not that steep, yes it was. I climbed that thing?!

I stared at it awestruck at how blessed I was to have been delivered from this. Even though I had returned to the spot I had fallen I felt this strange urge upward. Should I? You must, a voice inside me responded, closure awaits. So I climbed back up the slope I ran down just four months earlier. I got to the top and praised God for my deliverance, thanked him for his grace. Then I began to climb down.. again…

Father thank you

there are no words to describe the depth of my gratitude for what you did for me that day

Thank You

Honored in another Blog

2009-02-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

You know its funny. I write this blog for just a few reasons.

1. It is a chance to journal the remarkable things that our heavenly father does in my life

2. It hopefully provides some encouragement for others who are searching for God

3. It acts as a reminder for me when I am struggling with sin

4. It teaches me to be courageous and provides me a small activity in living the great commission

That’s it, that’s why “Least of my brothers” exists. I have never publicized the blog. I have never tried any search engine optimization. In fact the only time I have ever shared its existence is with a hurting brother or sister a story it contains believing it will help them.

So imagine my surprise when I received an email from someone representing www.christiancolleges.com telling me that my blog had been listed in their 100 enlightening bible study blogs. I can only hope that such publicity and recognition will lead to other brothers and sisters being encouraged by reading this blog.

So check it out here.

Ron

Limping Out: Final

2009-02-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

the journey back to normalcy was almost as fascinating as the exodus from the mountains. A week after the event still limping badly I attended worship for the first time. Raising my arms in praise was a new sensation. My chest stung as I did so. My heart leapt for joy. Tears streamed down my face as I realized what God had done for me anew.

Two weeks after in my small group we worshiped again. This time as I sang the words of Mercy Me "We all fall down" No I am not making this up. As we sang this song the words came alive. This was true worship. The stinging of my chest was a gentle reminder of my ordeal while the words echoed in the hills. God spoke to me in this moment.

I was with you always you did not need to hear from me. I am with you always. I walked you out.

I was stunned. In an instant the whole journey made perfect sense. All the times he spoke to me. All the guidance, the protection, the laughter, it was all him. I was stunned.

Please do not think I got all this the day of the accident I had no clue. It took two weeks and time in worship for it to be revealed.

Throughout this time I believed I was already healed. Nothing broken, just bruises. Through these stripes God wanted me to learn a lesson. My ribs did not crack, my ankle did not break, ligaments intact. How could this have happened?

Did you catch the psalm?

Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
       my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
       My heart leaps for joy
       and I will give thanks to him in song.

I love it when I get to see a part of God's plan come together.

Praise be to the father the son and the Holy Spirit.

Amen

Limping Out: Part 3

2009-02-05T21:11:00.000-08:00

Through necessity I did this day. You see the ankle sprain I had sustained was so severe that when eventually examined it was thought to be 100% certainly broken. The rib and chest pain I described, that was a collapsed lung and bruised chest. Every breathe was a labor to survive. I was told had I not come in to urgent care I would not have been able to breathe by the end of the day. Remember my post on reaching the end of your breath as the start of God’s?!!! THIS WAS THAT DAY. I had no hope of making it out unless God walked at my side carrying me along the way. There was no crutch, no walking stick, no rescue, only a rugged uneven loose rocky terrain of the San Gabriel mountain range. Did I mention this is the home of mountain lions, Coyotes, and other wild creatures. Not a good situation. So I got up and began to walk out, limp out with God.

Along the way I was reminded of the prayers I had said that very morning. Prayers of protection, prayers where I claimed the healing power of Christ, prayers where I claimed the power of the Holy Spirit in casting out evil. Amazingly powerful prayer. Each step was a labor, not too much pressure on the left foot not too much compensation on the right chest. Shooting pain on a foot for an incorrect step, blazing fire in my chest when I breathed too deep or compensated for my ankle. It was a no win situation. Three miles to go, 2.75 miles to go, 2.5 miles to go. A mountain biker, a hard core guy, my kind of rider labored up to me issuing a faint greeting of beautiful day isn’t it?! Fantastic I countered, have a great ride. It was all I could muster more words would have been like fire in my chest.

But why didn’t you ask him for help?!!!

I had already decided that this was God’s turn. He would save me from this place. He would be my deliverer. This was my Egypt, he is my King. No, some mountain biker would do me no good on this journey.

2.25 miles

Pain seemed to envelop me, panic was lurking in the shadows. This was not going to be easy could we make it I wondered more than once. Could this battered body make it out even with God as its guide?

2.0 miles:

Passing by places from happier hikes time with God in prayer, time with wind whipping through my hair times of promise, times of joy. Today was a labor today was dependence.

1.75 miles:

There were steps where I swear my ankle stopped hurting. My mind said pick up the pace this is a bad dream. Was this the edge of shock and delirium? No this was God. Remember the serenity prayer and the story of how two sets of prints became one? God was carrying me out in this time. This was not of me.

1.5 miles:

How can this be God? Why did this happen? I protected you, remember the psalm? He asked. Why does it hurt so much Lord I can’t take it . Remember my son? What was his pain like for you? I am with you even now.

1.25 miles:

I can see the end of the trail it is a long way off but I can see it for the first time. Can we make it God? I trust you. Will my ankle get that far?

1.0 miles:

Father why am I not angry that this happened? Why does this seem like only an inconvenience? Why the range of emotion? Why the JOY?!!!

0.75 Miles:

Oh the biker again. Laughter He still can’t help me. Have a great ride! Have a great hike he responds. If only he knew! This was the hike of lifetime. Limping out with God.

0.5 miles:

What! You have got to be kidding me a JEEP!? Man too late no way we finish what we started God and man (injured man) How’s it going guys, enjoy your ride.

0.25 miles:

Time for the cell phone not much battery left but enough to make the call. Kim (my wife) please come get me now! Are you okay? A voice of genuine concern she can hear the labor and pain in my voice. Just come get me I will tell you when you arrive.

0.0 miles:

Relief God has carried me out of the wilderness. Praise his holy and faithful name.

Only joy remained in my soul as my wife pulled up and I carefully managed to get into her car. Yes the human emotions wreaked havoc on my mind. In less than 4 hours I would travel the entire grief cycle while waiting for and between medical care. Urgent care confirmed the extent of my injuries and marveled at how I was able to get out of the mountains. Not me I knew how, it was a God thing. I ended up travelling by ambulance to the local hospital where after many pain killing drugs a chest tube was inserted to address my collapsed lung. It is funny to consider that despite the vicadin, adavan and morphine and whatever else was in the cocktail they gave me I had once and for all experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding. I was joyful, I was content.

Amazingly this was not the end of the story...

Limping Out: Part 2

2009-02-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

I chose the latter…

Before I knew it I went from a careful slow walk to a careening reckless freight train heading into a rock face. With every step my pace quickened. Could this be happening I asked. Slow down on the flat I reasoned. You’re going kind of fast I cautioned. There was no slowing down every step became more and more a sprint toward the hard packed dirt and rock ground of my mountain playground. I fought to keep in control ever accelerating. 5 feet from the bottom I was at full sprint. The thought of slowing down now seemed impossible. My body knew what was coming. 2 feet: Thoughts of I can make it, slow down on the flat , were engulfed by how the heck did we get this much speed up. You better be able to stop this could be bad. 1 foot: This is going to hurt, aw crap! My left ankle rolled under the unbearable pounding of velocity and change in direction. My body continued its relentless downward journey until hard earth smacked into it. THWACK! Roll after roll to a dusty dazed stop in the dirt.

With a scream of anguish I yelled. It did not hurt yet, this was a scream of frustration, stupidity, and the slow rising blood of pain. This was bad. I am 3 miles from ANYWHERE. What will I do.

Then a thought came over me. God this is NOT what I had in mind when I said I wanted to hear from you. Laughter. I laughed until it hurt. I laughed with God, I laughed at myself until it hurt. Unfortunately that did not take much.

I did a body inventory as I have always done when I fall. Check the joints (oh left ankle bad I can feel the blood rushing there even now) legs fine, head fortunately fine clear thinking no blood phew! Arms ouch right elbow stinging and the cool sensation of blood hitting the cool mountain air. Otherwise arms good. Chest: why does it hurt to breathe? Oh this is bad cracked some ribs for sure, deep stabbing pain on each breathe with my whole right chest erupting in fire with every touch. That can’t be good.

Again survey the situation. 3 miles from and possible means of rescue, in the middle of the wilderness late morning. Know anyone with a 4 by that can come get you? No would take too long anyway. Want to call 911 and wait for med-evac? NO that would cost a fortune although it would be cool to do the MASH 4077 helicopter ride. NO GET UP AND WALK OUT. Was it my voice or God’s? In my pain fogged state I had no idea.

Have you ever depended so completely on God that you gave yourself no room to be on your own?

to be continued...

Limping Out: Part 1

2009-01-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

A few weeks back I had the most profound experience

I had gone hiking in the mountains to hear from God and while I had a great experience, wonderful solitude, a clear sense of awe and dependence on God, yet I did not sense an answer to my earnest desire to hear from God.

I thought and prayed about it some more and decided to go hiking again 4 days later. Only this time the outcome was different.

It was a beautiful day. January 3^rd should be so beautiful in the rest of the world low 60’s, overcast and breezy. It was like walking in Heaven without actually being there. The day started in prayer and was filled with many moments of praise as I discovered the rugged beauty of another section of this magnificent mountain range. About an hour and a half in I decided to stop and spend some serious time in prayer. So far I had not gotten the clear sense that God was talking to me and I knew that through prayer and petition perhaps I would be answered.

I found a small mound alongside the trail I was hiking and decided to climb it to pray. Now I should say that small is a relative term when you are hiking at the feet of 7000 foot mountains. This mound was 40 feet tall and had a slope of about 60 degrees. As I climbed up more than once I placed my hands on the ground in front of me to steady my balance. Only thing is on a 60 degree slope you do not have to bend over to touch the ground. (this should have been a clue!)

On top of the mound there was a flat boulder and I sat upon it to pray. I came prepared with my bible and decided to read from the psalms.27 I think I like that one seems appropriate given all the current adversity in my life. As I approached this favorite psalm I was drawn to psalm 28. In fact it was as if a voice was yelling in my head READ THIS ONE!

To you I call, O LORD my Rock;
       do not turn a deaf ear to me.
       For if you remain silent,
       I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.

2 Hear my cry for mercy
       as I call to you for help,
       as I lift up my hands
       toward your Most Holy Place.

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked,
       with those who do evil,
       who speak cordially with their neighbors
       but harbor malice in their hearts.

4 Repay them for their deeds
       and for their evil work;
       repay them for what their hands have done
       and bring back upon them what they deserve.

5 Since they show no regard for the works of the LORD
       and what his hands have done,
       he will tear them down
       and never build them up again.

6 Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
       my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
       My heart leaps for joy
       and I will give thanks to him in song.

8 The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

9 Save your people and bless your inheritance;
be their shepherd and carry them forever.

So I did. Now of course at the time I had no idea that this was God telling me to read this psalm, I just read it. Upon finishing I continued to pray for so many things. Finally when I was done I got up and planned to continue my hike. A little further north then back to home I thought. That was the plan anyway. Funny thing about steep slope mounds, they go both ways. I carefully started to walk back down the mound taking extremely careful and small steps. About ten feet into my decent it happened, my right foot slipped…

You know there are moments that seem to stretch into eternity while others seem to be so short they cannot be recalled. I had a choice to make. I could fall on my backside and slide down the remaining 30 feet and have a sore scratched up butt or I could regain my balance.

to be continued...

Fontana Adopt A Block

2008-06-01T22:52:00.000-07:00

In the very first post on this site we discussed an outreach event my mens group and I have been a part of. This past Saturday we attended our 13th month supporting the event.

Something was different this month from all the previous ones and it gave new meaning to all our service.

I was fortunate enough to have the presence of mind this past Saturday to watch God working in our midst and capture it on my camera. As the message was spoken many people accepted Christ. It was truly a special moment to behold. In all the months we have been working together on this ministry we have not been blessed to see this many people accept Christ, yet today the raised hands were unmistakable. Why was this? or should I was ?pourquoi était? Yes my friends the message was translated into spanish Praise God!

I love the fact that scattered throughout the
pictures are members of my small group loving people serving people. If only more groups could experience the joy from this and other outreach events. As was said in church a few weeks back we don't have to go far outside the walls of our campus to find the mission field. It is all around us.

I hope you appreciate the images and the eternal impact of serving our Lord.

All I can say is praise God

Amen

Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church

2008-06-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stopped to consider what God meant with this statement?

For me it is clear, we are called to love our wifes sacrificially. Love them in a way that they know you are willing to make their needs more important than your own. With this in mind I volunteered to lead a children's ministry class at my church this weekend. You see my wife was planning to attend a womens retreat as were many of the ladies who normally volunteer in this ministry.

So I agreed to lead a classroom. This may seem like no big thing to you after all its just two hours whats the big deal. Well I volunteer in a number of other capacities closer to or in my gifts. Leading a bible study for kids, no that is not in my gifts. I have been known to say I have no intention of volunteering in Children's ministry. Gods sense of humor at work again, never say never.

You know it was fun. A lot of the facilitation and leadership skills I use with adults worked equally well with the 40 ten year olds I was trying to lead. It was messy and certainly I did not have everyones attention the whole time. There were some connections though, places where eye contact belayed a new friendship. Someone looking at me as a teacher not just some old guy. The kids were respectful and anxious to be. They wanted to be heard and to test out their fledgling Christianity.

A Lot like adults

I was honored to serve Gods children this day

What fun

I just might have to return and lead in the Children's ministry again

Praise you father
praise your providence your wisdom
Thank you for the opportunity to serve your people
thank you

Amen

Read This!

2008-05-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

A colleague of mine up in Toronto Canada posted a blog article that I want you to read. It is so profoundly moving that I have to fully recommend you check out her blog. While you read it make contact with this brave lady and share your encouragement with her.

Irene's Just Coach It blog

God bless you

Service in Christ

2008-05-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone it has been a while. In the past six weeks my focus has wandered and the moments where I had something to write about few. There were many attacks, many diversions many excuses. Yesterday the Lord laid a story on my heart that I need to share. It is about service.

There is a feeling of uncertainty and excitement when you step out into the mission field. It does not occur as you leave your house, as you drive in your car, or as your ego searches for reasons not to show up. It happens the moment you step into the event, the environment, the community. It could be a city park, a homeless shelter, a tent city, a soup kitchen; the venue does not matter it happens every time. The feeling of excitement to know that finally, today, I can forget all the troubles of my world and serve someone else less fortunate then I. Finally I can do God’s work, not in a pay it forward kind of way, no today I get to serve in obscurity. No one other than my small group and the people I touch will ever know I was here. No one that is except the only one who really matters, God.

That same moment you step into the fray you may not know what to do. People swirl around you looking for all the world like they know what they are doing. You have been faithful and showed up but now you need to figure out what to do. You seek a leader someone who has it together and ask for guidance. You are given a role a job to do. Your ego revolts claiming the work is below you. You should have no part in this enterprise. Are there not others who are paid to do this type of work? But then this is ego of course he will revolt. Somewhere in the process the Holy Spirit shows up. He always does. He works a miracle in your heart. He softens it. Soon the tasks that once seemed beneath you now take on a whole new meaning. It is life itself that you are serving, cleaning, sharing, moving; life abundantly as a child of God. You are connected into something supernatural something beyond comprehension. Then there are the miracles. The lives transformed, the friendships started, the people healed, the hungry fed. It happens every time.

You pray for people who are desperate. They do not resist, they do not walk away. No they quiet themselves and allow you to pray for them. The Holy Spirit once again shows up and melts your heart and theirs connecting the two for a moment in time. Some of the people speak no English yet they hear your prayer, they need it, they want it, they are grateful. God shows up and ministers to his people. Somehow the food never runs out, the love continues on and the workers never grow tired. God shows up.

Then comes the jubilation. The prayers of praise for what God has done in our midst. The testimony and witness we provide when we love others unconditionally. There is the life changing profound impact we have on our children as they join us in this labor of love. The afterglow of serving others lasts well into the day, well after the last person has been cared for. It lasts for several days and when your small group meets again the stories of victory in Christ are retold with excitement and wonder. Lives transformed in the community, lives transformed in the small group. God shows up.

So why is it that so few people take the step into the mission field? Why do they smile politely make vague commitments and then find excuses when the time comes. Why do they avoid the topic? Why?

Do they feel unworthy?

Do they feel guilty?

Are they too busy?

Do they have somewhere else to be?

Do they have something more important to do?

I know that for several years I wanted to serve yet I did not make it happen. That is until one day in the spring of 07 when my heart was so heavy at not serving that I drew a line in the sand. In fact as a small group leader I drew it for my small group. I need to serve I told them. I do not care what it is I do but I need to serve, my heart is aching to serve. We have been together a long time and our group has not made this leap of faith. I believe we need to serve together. I believe so strongly that if we cannot find somewhere to serve together I am out. I cannot continue in this group without serving with you guys somewhere. That is how my men’s group came to be a part of the Fontana Adopt a Block event. Faithfully for 13 months my group has packed food, prayed, served food, prayed some more, met the poor, helped the poor. We are richly blessed to be a part of this important ministry. Our group has blossomed ever since growing to three times the size it was only a year ago. This Easter we impacted the lives of over one thousand people in south Fontana. God showed up in our community, God showed up in group.

Last week my other small group stepped out in faith to serve at the clothing ministry. Once again that familiar twinge of excitement and uncertainty was present as I crossed the threshold. Today we would take dust covered boxes of donated clothes sort through them. Some items would go to the store others would be donated to the Mexico ministry. As I surveyed the wall of 2 year old donated boxes a question pierced my heart. Why did these donations meant to bless others have to sit for so long unsorted. How many poor people might have benefited from a warm coat, a blanket, a pair of shoes, a dress? We will never know.

My mind flashed back to a question that had haunted me the first day I arrived at the Adopt A Block outreach thirteen months prior; where are all the people from Water of Life?

Who are you serving…

"The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” Luke 10:2

No prayer father only heartache for your people

I love you

amen

Photos of God's country

2008-04-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year I posted a two part story on a hike I took with God just after Christmas. Believe it or not it took me till now to get the pictures off of my wife's camera. I want to share a few of them with you as they turned out amazingly well and so clearly validate the story of my journey. Go back and have a look at the posts here Part 1 and here Part 2

The trip started with about a 4-5 mile hike upward. Part way up (about 3 miles) there is a plateau I talked about in the post. I stopped there to finally touch the pine trees that had stood sentinal over my time in Southern California.

The view into the valley below was stunning and vast, too vast to take in all at once.

Leaving this place I hiked further upward stopping only to take in the breath taking beauty of the mountain range.

Midway through the hike I came across a solitary fireplace chimney

Finally I rested beside streams of cool mountain water and prayed.

This truly was a time of great intimacy with God and a journey I will repeat. I encourage you to find your own way to take solitary time with God as well you will not regret it.

A Very Cool Honor

2008-04-08T17:53:00.001-07:00

I have shared before that I start each day in the word listening to Brian Hardin's podcast The Daily Audio Bible. Once again I highly recommend it. But my podcast learning habit does not stop there, it barely begins.

Another podcast I listen to is The Bible Podcast by Michael Lee. I love the cool music and the clear engaging voice Mr. Lee uses in reading scripture. Well at the end of his casts he asks the question "if you want to contribute a chapter..." I was intrigued. I contacted Mr. Lee and asked if I could do exactly that.

He offered me Judges 18 to read. Late last week I sent him off an MP3 file and hoped for the best. My sound equipment is at best decent but not professional by any means. It is funny when I saw Judges 18 on his site I thought hmmm he must not have liked my recording it shows his name on it.

Then I listened to the cast. Yup it was me!

Why do I share this? I love the fact that I got to read the word of God and the world can listen to the voice he gave me reading his words. The best part is they won't even know it was me unless they read my blog that is.

What was that verse about not letting the left hand know what the right is doing?

The irony is delicious!

Be blessed and have a listen here

Lord, How do I open the eyes of my Heart?

2008-04-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

Open the eyes of my heart

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

(Repeat two more times)

Holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to see you

Michael W. Smith

The Heart?

I shared a few weeks back that I am an engineer. I have a tendency to look at the world with a dispassionate analytic perspective. For many years this was a significant stumbling block in my faith life. Heck for most of my life as an engineer I had no faith life. Yet somewhere along the way Jesus showed up. He brought the Holy Spirit with him and started to minister to the emptiness that had taken residence in my soul. It was a very painfully empty God shaped hole within me.

I shared the story of that time a while back as well, that is not the point here just the context. You see I want to talk about the eyes of my heart. In 2002 I first discovered Michael W. Smith. A friend had recommended him to me as an excellent Christian artist that I might like. Like, I loved him! I could not get enough of listening to his music. In fact this was the start of a six year love affair with worship music that is not soon to end. Check out My Private Worship Time if you want perspective.

There were many songs at the time that I loved yet one stood out; Open the Eyes of my Heart.

Here is where the engineer and the Christian setup a cognitive dissonance (fancy term for two opposing ideas held in the mind that cannot be resolved). Essentially the meaning of this song was lost on me. How could I see with my heart?

Well….

That was then, this is now

In the past several weeks I have had a number of experiences that when considered from the right perspective offered me a glimpse into the meaning of this song. The perspective is that of heaven or the kingdom instead of a worldly one.

There was the time when in worship and prayer my heart ached so hard for the Lord that I wanted to cry. I prayed instead, on my knees, until the feeling passed.

There was the time my heart ached for the men I work with and a difficult decision they face. I cannot bear the thought of them hurting. I prayed for them until the ache stopped.

There was the time at a worship service I closed my eyes and took in the scene. I believe the lord was clearly showing me how to see with my heart in his realm. It was so peaceful so wonderful. I was content to be in his presence and I know that had I quieted my mind even further I would have seen his angels ministering to his people.

This morning as I listened to my daily audio bible segment, courtesy of Brian Hardin, my heart leapt as the word from Leviticus started. All at once I felt present with Brian half way around the world in India connected through a supernatural link.

Close my eyes and see?

So now I know that there are times that I can close my eyes and see as he does. I can trust my heart instead of my eyes. I can trust in him and see his people with love.

I am further honored that though this gift from the Lord is momentary and seemingly random that all the prayers I have pleaded all the times I have asked for a new heart are being answered He is constructing a new heart in me, a renewed spirit. He is teaching me to love without condition to care without boundary.

I am a blessed man

In him

Ron

As Iron Sharpens Iron

2008-04-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Last Sunday I was talking to a brother in the faith and co-laborer in my churches men’s ministry leadership. We were discussing our vision and in particular the verse from Proverbs that most men know by heart, as iron sharpens iron…

This verse makes me want to meet other Rons ;-) (as I ron sharpens I ron…) so much for my sense of humor.

Ya, okay…

I am sure that none of you know what I do for a living and fewer (if that were possible) would know what I went to college for a couple of decades back. Well let me tell you, I am a metallurgist. Metallurgical engineering is somewhat of a lost science. There are few of us who go into this noble field of study. It is in many ways the modern form of the blacksmith. Of course it is engineering as well. Blacksmith, calculus chemistry and heat transfer, a strange stew indeed.

What the heck does all this have to do with faith you might ask? Well let me tell you. I learned long ago that if your eyes are open the Lord can show you connections in the most unlikely places. As Jesus taught in parables, there are wonderful metaphors out there just waiting to create meaning for us.

“As Iron”

Have you ever stopped to consider how iron or steel are made into something useful?

I have worked in modern blast furnaces, steelmaking shops, hot mills, cold mills, literally the whole process. I have studied ancient metallurgy, how dirt is transformed into a metal. I was led through the whole process both literally and figuratively in thought and in action.

Iron is a very interesting metal. On its own it is fairly ordinary, dull, soft and prone to rust. You would not want to build much with it, it would not hold up. Funny thing though contaminate it with minute amounts of other metals or other “dirt” and you can make it extremely strong, hard as well nails, tougher than pretty much any other metal.

Ancient iron (biblically) would have been like this, impure. The processes used today to make steel and iron so remarkably versatile had not yet been imagined. So we start with iron mixed with impurities of carbon, manganese, silicon, sulphur etcetera.

If you think about butter or cheese what happens to it just before it turns to liquid? It gets remarkably soft, same with iron. The easiest way to shape iron into something useful is to heat it in a hot fire, the hotter the better. In fact somewhere above 750 degrees Celsius (1350 F) is where you would want to be. If you go to a blacksmith you would find him working the metal to a bright red / orange color which is as much as 1900 F. As I said at this temperature steel / iron is soft and pliable.

If you were to want to make a sword you would take the metal up to this temperature then beat it with a hammer on an anvil into the approximate shape you wanted. Since it would cool and harden quickly you would alternate between heating and beating the metal into shape.

“Sharpens Iron’

The next step is to begin to get the metal to the toughness you want with the ability to hold a sharp edge. How do you do this? Well the process is quite fascinating.

First you must quench the metal from its high temperature. The metal must start from above 1350 and be brought as quickly as possible down to a low temperature. In this form the metal is brittle, so brittle in fact that it is like glass. If you gave it a sharp blow it would shatter into many pieces.

From here we reheat the steel (not too hot) just enough to relieve the internal stresses caused by the quench. This process known as tempering provides the toughness required to enable the metal to be used without breaking. Depending on application there might even be a follow up process of hardening an edge of the metal like a sword where the quench and temper process is repeated or the metal is treated with a chemical and heated to enable the edge to stay sharp and hard during use.

The process can be summed up by a favorite phrase of metallurgists:

“Heating, beating and treating”

“So One Man”

Alright enough with the metallurgy class! What does this have to do with faith?

I believe the verse in proverbs 27 is talking directly to men about the transformation they will undergo as they mature into true believers in Christ.

Our transformation begins when we invite accept Christ as our Lord and savior. It continues as we invite the Holy Spirit to come into our heart and lead us in the faith. It goes deeper as we realize we are called to community with other believers. When men come alongside other men there is something powerful that happens and this is where the verse in proverbs comes to life.

You see as a man you are not much different than the lump of metal dull and lifeless prone to tarnish and full of impurity. As we invite Christ into our life we begin the process of refinement and strengthening.

We are put in situations that test us, that put us in the fire. We are beat upon and hammered by the circumstances of life. We are criticized, admonished, overlooked. We are tempted, we are corrupted we are discouraged. Yet through all these circumstance one thing remains true we belong to Christ Jesus. Through these tests we have the ability to grow wise, to learn from our trials. So we learn from the trials and our character (structure) is forever changed, strengthened.

Like the quench we too experience the temptation after testing and we may fail, shatter at the impact. Yet like the metal this is not our destiny for even the metal can be re-forged into a new creation so can we. But to exist in this fragile state has no life we must continue on and be tempered. We must through our experiences be softened just enough to be toughened, conditioned to handle future trials.

"Sharpens Another"

When we emerge from the forge hardened on the exterior yet soft for the love of Christ we can be further refined. We can be sharpened to a razors edge to do the work of the body of Christ. Through the words of our trusted brothers we sharpen out character our behaviors, we become more Christ like. We cycle through the fires, the beating down, restoration and refinement coming ever closer to our goal of surrender to Christ and an iron tool of his perfect will.

Metaphors indeed!

Father I praise you for the curiosity you planted so deep in me

The desire to learn to grow, to discover how things are made

I praise you for the glory of your creation human kind

I pray that I might do your will and serve your people

I pray for your perfect will to be complete

Both in heaven and on earth

Amen

God is Love

2008-03-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

This past summer I had a brief momentary opening. It was during the painful stress of being back home to care for my mother as she underwent cancer surgery. My eldest, and closest, sister and I had both returned home to be with my parents in this terrible time. During one brief respite my sister and I talked about “religion”. She knows that I have come back to the faith after many years of wandering. She has not. My sister has led a life of struggle and trial. She is remarkably successful and I am extremely proud of her and the things she has strived for and achieved. She is truly an inspiration to me. There is nothing I would want to share with her more than the faith that has blossomed in me the last ten years. I have prayed for the opportunity to do so many times in the past few years. In this brief conversation she asked me what I believed the Catholic (read Christian) faith was really about.

I knew this was a pivotal moment. The wrong words could further justify her distance, a judgmental perspective would shut her down to this topic. My sister sees the church as a man made invention to suppress women. I think in many ways religion is just that so again my words had to be chosen with care. I cried out the briefest of prayer and trusted in the spirit to put the rights words in my mouth. Love. The Christian faith is first and foremost about love. I explained what I meant and left it at that. I have wondered since that day whether the seed the Holy Spirit planted had taken root or not.

Well I believe it may have. Not in an obvious way, rather in one of those delicious ironies that God so masterfully wields to talk to us. Today I finished reading a profound book The Shack. Have you heard of it? William Young has written a book for the ages. Shades of C.S. Lewis come through for me in the richness of the pictures Mr. Young paints. This book is a heart wrenching story of love that must be read, it demands to be read. It does not matter if you believe or not it is hard not to be entranced by the elegant simplicity of this wonderful story. As the tears flowed, the lump in my throat grew there was only two thoughts invading my mind; God is love, give this book to your sister to read.

God is love indeed.

I hope my sister will love this book as much as I did

If you want to learn more about The Shack go to www.theshackbook.com

God bless.

Are you Free?

2008-03-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

There is a verse in Second Peter that says;

a single day is like a thousand years with the Lord and a thousand years are like a single day

2 Peter 3:8

Have you ever stopped to consider what this might mean?

Recently I have been reflecting on a deliverance the Lord has granted me. For years I have fought a battle in this area for years I have failed. This was for me the thorn in my flesh the wound that would not be healed. Before I came back to the faith I really did not even consider the behavior to be wrong. Sure I had a vague sense that it was, that old catholic guilt thing. I was able to quickly rationalize my behavior and continue on oblivious to the consequences I was piling up. In the last ten years as my faith in Christ has grown I have become increasingly aware of how wrong headed I was and how much death I was sowing.

So I began in earnest to stop the behavior. I would fail each time and then the guilt of failure would convict me sending me deeper into despair and self loathing. I would cry out to God seek forgiveness and healing for my sin and start anew. Yet I would stumble and fail again and again.

I looked deeper what were the triggers to the behavior, if only I could stop them, I would be delivered! I sought these out. One by one I eliminated the triggers, only to find more or worse yet new triggers as my flesh desperately clinged to old ways. The stumble comes leading to failure.

I tried studying Christian books on the subject. How to break free from old patterns. I followed their models for years with only minuscule success. The stumble comes and failure follows and the cycle goes over again.

I tried talking to Christian friends and family. I shared my heart I asked for their support. This worked for a while accountability is a great thing especially in Christ. However in time even this broke down and again the stumble comes and the cycle repeats.

I tried crying out to God in desperation. I yelled at him, screamed, lashed out in anger, cried tears of desperation, humbled myself before him in a last ditch attempt to find freedom from my bondage. I gained some relief but in time I would stumble and again the cycle repeats.

Then something happened

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus

Romans 8:1

I discovered what this verse means and for the first time believed it.

It is finished

John 19:30

I discovered what this verse means and for the first time believed it

Love the lord your God with all your heart your soul your strength and your mind

Luke 10:27

I finally began to understand what this verse meant and began to live it.

As you sew so shall you reap

Galatians 6:7

I began to finally understand my struggle from a spiritual dimension

This winter my pastor did an extended sermon series on Galatians and it changed my life.

I am Free

I finally understand that my past behavior was reaping present consequence. Until I accepted that I am a new creation in Christ and that ALL my sins have already been forgiven, I could not be free. Today I am free from the lie of condemnation, I am free from the selfishness of self (on this battle front anyway). I have learned to surrender my will to God. I have been delivered. I am free to choose, free to live for him, free to serve his people, free to heal the broken hearted, I am free

The Lord revealed to me that my failure was predictable. Until I surrendered to him completely, until I trusted him completely, until I truly loved him, until I stopped trying to change in my own strength, until I waited upon him and his timing I could not be free.

I am free

Praise you Lord Jesus

My brothers and sisters you too can be free

Confess your sins to Jesus and repent

Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior

He will set you free

Your brother in Christ

Ron

Have you ever talked with God?

2008-03-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

Have you ever talked with God?

I would love to say that I have and indeed in some unusual ways I have. I hear all the time about people who share stories of conversations and words spoken. Me I am lucky if a word or idea is dropped into my head. Usually it has little to do with what is going on at the time. Although there was that one time at the retreat last November when he spoke to me.

Okay yes I have the odd conversation with God. They seem to be infrequent and not a typical friend to friend conversation but rather what you might expect from a Creator of the universe to single lowly human being conversation. Yeah I have some of those.

I pray often, not continually as the Bible encourages, but definitely often. It is through prayer that I most often encounter God. Last night before falling asleep I was praying and an image came into my mind of what it might mean to have the eyes of my heart open. Don’t ask me to explain I can’t. The image was more like an emotion. It stirred my heart and gave me the clear sense of what this phrase meant.

So what the heck am I trying to say here? What’s all this talk about talking to God anyway?

Well he spoke to me this morning as clear as I am writing this post and I want to share it with you.

Flash back to Sunday morning for some context:

I was talking to a brother in Christ and co-laborer in our men’s ministry leadership team about the meaning of Proverbs 27:17. (There will be a post on this just as soon as I finish writing it!) I was explaining to my brother that this verse has a deeper meaning to me than the obvious because I am a metallurgical engineer. Whooooo fancy name, hard to spell. Yes I get it, but we all have a past this is mine. I studied metallurgy in college and this knowledge is firmly implanted in me. So I know about steel and iron and how they are worked into useful stuff, it’s what I do for a day job.

I explained to my brother the beautiful metaphor that this verse in proverbs represents to me, the depth of meaning is unmistakable. I walked him through my interpretation of the meaning of the verse and he was taken aback, he had no idea of my background and had not looked at the verse in the way that I do. We ended the conversation by discussing the possibility of doing a teaching on the metallurgical meaning of the verse at an upcoming men’s bible study.

Back to the Present

This morning we were together (my brother and I) in our churches men’s bible study. After songs of worship (where I was focused on closed eyes and open heart from last nights prayer) our pastor walked us through Galatians chapter 6. Out of left field another brother asked a question. This may seem normal but it is not. In the twenty weeks of study there must have been a total of 6 questions all together. You simply cannot manage a group of 200 guys and take questions in a window of 45 minutes. Today our pastor did.

The question was on the meaning of Galatians 6:6. After explaining the meaning of the verse (it was in relation to giving) he continued to explain the context of the verse backing up into verse 5. To my astonishment he asked the questioner what is that called when someone studies metals? “Metallurgy“, was the reply. He talked briefly about testing metal. As he did I looked at my brother and smiled what are the odds?!

Our pastor then got back on the giving theme and expounded on the importance for us men to give of ourselves in love of the king within his kingdom (not to earn to love!). He mentioned the old story of time, talents and resources, we are called to give.

About this time I started to laugh, this was no random event, this was God talking to me. The metallurgist called to lead and give of himself for the men’s ministry he is so passionate about. I leaned over and shared the story with my friend and he too laughed at the irony.

Later that day I related the story to another friend. He added a piece that cinched the deal. The guy who asked the question that started this seemingly random connection volunteers his time with the blind. He helps the blind overcome their challenge; he helps the blind to see.

Open the eyes of my heart father I want to see you

In the mean time I will abide in you

I wait for you to speak into my life

Your will be done Father

Amen

"High Capacity" Christian?

2008-03-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

I just finished a post on my leadership development blog in which I discussed in detail the challenge for me in this winter season. You can read it by clicking “A Purpose Filled Winter”. The post was a way of expressing my own angst at being at my capacity for several weeks straight as well as a way of recuperating. This weekend is the first in three weeks where I have more than a two hour break during the day. (Hence why there are so few blog posts here...)

I talked about turning down a dear friend who asked me to help lead a massive outreach event for our church. This was not an easy decision. As you may know I love to lead, I love to live my faith and I have been learning to love outreach events and serving others. The reason I said no was obvious I was at my capacity and see no reasonable break in the pace for several weeks. I had a choice; dump all other responsibilities and do the event or say not to helping lead the event. Given the nature of my responsibilities at work, at my church, within my family at school there was no way I could walk away from these responsibilities. All this event could so was strain relationships to a breaking point.

Yet I know that if God had told me in prayer that I needed to find a way I would have done so. I have prayed more than once the dangerous prayer, “use me”. Yet on this decision God remained silent. Of course I could continue to seek him and gain his wisdom on the question. I think though in this case had he wanted me to lead the event he would have been clear on it.

It is funny though that in the past several weeks I have been seeing another “perfect storm” come to life in my consciousness. As an engineer the concept of a perfect storm is an apt metaphor. When multiple waves meet in water and they have the same phase (that is they are aligned crest to crest) the result is a wave of twice the amplitude (a fancy word for size). The alternative is that if they are opposite phase a trough is aligned with a crest they cancel each other out. So the perfect storm wave has multiple waves of the same phase meeting together all at once forming a very large wave. All right enough techno weenie engineer speak.

My point is this, for the last several weeks I have been exposed to teaching on, have been reading about and have been distracted from the central core of the Christian life; intimacy with God. The Christian life is not about works, it is about loving God and loving others as yourself. This has been the core theme of our pastor’s messages for the past six weeks. It is the theme of two books I have been reading on prayer and Christian living. It is exactly what the enemy is distracting me from as I engage the world at my capacity day after day.

If not for the time I set aside to be with my heavenly father I would be lost. My time in the word each morning, my prayer and worship bike rides, Tuesday bible study and Friday / Saturday small groups all help me stay connected and provide the opportunity to slow down for just awhile and seek his voice.

So I soldier on jealously guarding these times with the Lord and seeking more opportunities to love him and his people more.

Father I praise you

I thank you for the realization of Love

I thank you for revealing to me the need to love you

For teaching me how to love you

For teaching me how to love your people

I praise you for beginning to open the eyes of my heart

So that I might see your heaven on earth

See your wonders and glories

Father I will forever be a child amazed with the wonder of you

Thank you for my salvation and my freedom in Christ

Amen

It's not about you

2008-02-26T21:08:00.000-08:00

I want to share a story.

I was reminded of this story by a friend who opined in an email yesterday how powerful it would be if the men of our churches men's ministry all started their sentence about the ministry with "we are about..."

The power of we. Not Nintendo we but us, Christians together in community.

"I" versus "we"

When I graduated with a Master of Science in Leadership and Management two years ago I decided that I wanted to get a class ring. I had never done so before and thought it would be a good way to remember the journey. In the process of getting the details for the ring ironed out with Jostens I learned that on the side panel they could only fit 9 characters across. (they did not have a standard design for my program so I had to custom design).

Well as you know the word leadership has ten characters. I was beside myself with frustration and selfishness. I brooded over this for a few hours and then called my wife to complain. As I related my story to her she listened then with absolutely biblical wisdom said "Ron it's not about you!" Oh the pain! My initial reaction was to want to defend and get angry at my wife. I kept it in check and began to consider what she had shared. Its not about you, its not about you of course she was right I was being selfish. Leadership is not about me, leadership is not about "I"... Suddenly a flash of light came as the coolest idea came forth. There is no room for "I" in leadership. The dilemma was solved remove the "I" from leadership, Leadershp fit nicely and I had a permanent leadership lesson engraved on my class ring.

According to Ecclesiastes one man can get into trouble while two can help each other but a cord of three strands... Ecc 4:9, 12

So to the power of we, a very important observation.

Our savior was the model of selflessness, where are you being selfish today and how do you remind yourself to get over it?

Be blessed

Ron

A house divided cannot stand

2008-02-18T20:15:00.000-08:00

“A house divided against itself cannot stand” Matthew 12:25

I love the way the Lord brings clarity forth. Over the past few weeks this verse continues to come up in conversation and in prayer. In my men’s group we discussed the importance of being united in Christ and with each other if we are ever to claim victory over the schemes of the enemy. At a recent Sunday night service at my church a guest pastor brought forth a clear teaching on the importance of unity in the body and prayed over the congregation that the bonds of shame be broken and lifted from our midst.

It grieves me that there are so many men who are isolated, alone and unable to reach out for the camaraderie they so desperately need to be whole in Christ. If only every man knew that we must be united to overcome the schemes of the devil. If only every man knew what this meant and how to be an authentic Christian man. How can a man share the shame of failure of another drink, another drug, another pornographic website, another angry outburst if he has no brothers to help him through it in love. The moment he gives into temptation the devil convicts him, holds him down with a Jackboot on his neck in the dirt rendering yet another brother helpless in the cause of Christ.

This verse speaks to me of the battle we are in, the criticality of the cause and the hope we have in Christ. I share it with you in hope that it might stir the conversation and through prayer and thanksgiving that we might discover God’s calling for men of Christ.

May God bless you

May his face shine upon you

Amen

Be encouraged my brothers in Christ

A "High Capacity" Day

2008-02-12T18:38:00.002-08:00

Have you ever noticed when you greet someone during their day and ask them how things are they will often say "very busy"?

In the past several weeks this word “busy” has taken on new meaning to me. Ironically it has taken on the meaning to have little meaning or purpose; to work hastily getting the tasks of the day accomplished all the while losing sight on what is important.

Perhaps this is an unfair assessment. Well perhaps, yet I do not judge others I simply wonder whether the list of tasks that people scurry about to complete have any meaning in the grand scheme of things. What eternal value do our tasks have? Could this be a deception of the enemy to keep us at bay; to keep us from fulfilling or perhaps discovering our true purpose?

I believe it is…

So I have created a new answer to this question. When someone asks me how things are, I reflect on how well I am doing against my purpose. How am I progressing those strategic activities that bring life, that help the lost to be saved, that bring comfort to the hurting, fellowship to the lonely. Since my career is my mission field I also consider how well I am on track in my leadership role in achieving the goals set out before me.

If I am doing well I respond to the question; I am having a high capacity day and I am blessed that supply is level with demand. This gives me an ability to create a nuance for those days that are overwhelming (supply is not meeting demand) and awesome days where “Bring it” is the quote of the day.

On days that are simply lost, that is I am not working toward my purpose, I can still respond that I am busy if I am or whatever else I am feeling. Only thing is now I have an external prompt to get myself back on track working for God and not man.

How do you stay in your purpose?

How do you find your purpose?

May our Almighty Father Bless you

May he grant you a word of knowledge to understand your purpose.

May he grant you the wisdom and courage to pursue it

Amen

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus

2008-02-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

So where was this verse 5 years ago, 10, 20, 30 years ago?

When I needed it...

Where was the grace and acceptance of a forgiving loving God?

When I did not understand it…

Where was the healing from shame and self condemnation?

When the pain was too much to bear…

Where was the humility of a life devoted to Christ?

When I knew nothing of it...

The answer to these questions have, for me, a similar answer; The answer lies hidden deep within the lies and deception of the enemy. For years I lived in the insanity of what most men go through. I lived in the constant struggle of good behavior followed by failure then condemnation, guilt, remorse, confession. Each time through the cycle was as if on a downward spiral staircase stuck acting as a descending escalator. You simply cannot win, every stumble takes you further away from the love and forgiveness of Christ. The failures pile up one upon another. You feel like a train wreck. Each car scattered all over the ground one upon another in a tangled mess of steel broken glass, broken flesh and heart ache.

I lived this pattern most of my formative years and adult life. Although a lifelong believer, I fell victim to the schemes of the devil so easily I look back on it with embarrassment. I feel like a cow being led to the slaughter house.

Why do we as men live in this pain for so long? How can we be released from this bondage?

Unfortunately we live compartmentalized lives. We live in secret. We think we cannot share our pain, our desperation, our desolation. We think that our identity is at risk; our very manhood will be undercut if we confess to another brother the struggle for life we engage in every day. The lie of pride, the lie of ego, the lie of shame all clever deceptions of an enemy who never sleeps.

We see a racy commercial on television and Victoria Secret models assault our thought life. Before we know it we are in death thinking things no man has a right to.

We see a shiny new Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, fill in the blank and we lust after the sleek lines, the precision engineering. We imagine what it must be like to drive such a fine automobile. We start to attack the driver. How can they have it if I cannot?! We swell up with pride at how we will be perceived behind the wheel.

We take one more drink (drug, fill in the blank) to dull the pain of profound loneliness of meaninglessness. We know we should not but we do, just one more we rationalize I can handle it.

Can you?!! Really!! I think not.

My heart is broken today and I believe it will stay that way until my Lord and savior gives me a new one. I too still fall victim to these traps but Praise God the frequency has lessened and the condemnation is gone. I have been given a gift of knowledge that the struggles I have had have been of the flesh and not of my soul. My struggles are sure to be with me for the days to come, yet the consequences of failure are so totally different.

Christ loves me, he knew me before I was born, and he has a plan for me. I take such comfort in this and know that through him all things are possible. Through him I can be a difference maker, through him I can help the Kingdom grow. I can be his hands, his feet. May his will be done on earth.

There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus

Amen

Thoughts on Navigating this Blog

2008-02-11T11:37:00.000-08:00

May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always.

Brothers and Sisters

This blog reflects my heart. It reflects the thoughts and the prayers that match my spiritual highs and lows. There are times where this blog may seem to have wild direction changes and large gaps in time where there are no posts. It is my desire to be authentic, to be real. So I write when the spirit moves me, I write when I am in pain, when I am in joy. So yes the direction changes can seem drastic. But then in your own journey I suspect that you too have highs and lows. Christ calls us to be hot or cold, otherwise he will spit us out of his mouth. I want to be on fire for the Lord, the hotter the better.

How about you?

Praise you Lord Jesus

Praise you for your gift of grace, your sacrifice

Teach me your ways so I might follow you

So I might commit my heart to you completely

Praise your Holy name

Amen

The Trip "B"

2008-02-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning early I was sitting in a departure lounge at the Toronto Canada airport. My family and I had just finished a week long visit to the great white north from our home in southern California. We came back to spend time with family, to visit my mother who is finishing chemotherapy. Those who have read my previous posts all named The Trip, will know that this is another chapter in my mothers journey through the valley of cancer. I find it comforting to know that her favorite psalm is 23. The verse Yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me has special meaning to her and to me. Since last August I have been praying for a miracle of healing. I was praying the cancer would be completely removed from her body. The prayer was answered once as she nearly died due to complications in the weeks following surgery. Those prayers were answered.

I have been filling the prayer bowls again though, nothing less than complete recovery is what I am praying for. This mountain will fall into the sea!

This trip was so different from last summer. We spent many hours over the course of the week talking to playing games and sharing meals with my parents. It was a time to remember. Not at all like the horror and stress of cancer surgery and uncertainty. No this trip was different.

There were many prayers for us as we left for home. So many well meaning friends who genuinely cared for us. The stress of last August seemed to melt away as we each day made the most of this precious time with family. It was a good trip, God inspired and prayer lined. The last day we found out the cat-scan showed no sign of tumors, the cancer is gone. In Gods hands, gone for good.

Father

Thank you for your gift of grace

Thank you Holy Spirit for guiding this trip

Praise you for your love and kindness

Praise you for healing

Amen

Anticipation

2008-01-19T15:48:00.000-08:00

Last week I was faced with a delicious opportunity; sacrifice. I was encouraged to take part in a church wide activity to draw closer to our heavenly father. Imagine several thousand believers all denying themselves in a form of personal worship to our savior. As I entered into this time I had a joy in my heart I had never before experienced. It was anticipation of something remarkable.

It is very much like my favorite verse of the bible Isaiah 40:31

“those that wait upon the lord with renew their strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles.”

The only thing is, as the week progressed each day I felt weaker. I would get short tempered, light headed, irritable. All these negative things yet each moment I experienced negativity I would pray. It is hard to describe the comfort I felt in these moments. It is what baby must experience in its mothers womb. There is a sense of a warm liquid enveloping you. You feel perfect contentment, perfect comfort and capture. You are secure. You know no pain, loneliness, fear, hunger or temptation. You are cared for, you are loved you are connected. This week I felt like this in God. Each moment of panicky desperation I would cry out to God in prayer and my father would answer. He would wrap me up in an embrace a supernatural embrace.

The devil prowled around the edges always looking for an angle of attack. A lustful thought here, an angry frustrated thought there. Yet he had no entry point. God was my rock and my protection. He would allow no attack to succeed. For five days I denied myself and God showed up so powerfully. He showed up in prayer comforting my soul, he showed up in a warm sunshine of a fading California afternoon. He showed up in a light breeze, in a business meeting going better than could be hoped for. He showed up in a confrontation that turned into peace. He showed up in worship and in love. He showed up in my children’s eyes as they watched their Dad sacrifice all week.

God showed up.

He renewed my strength.

He taught me a lesson I will never forget. Last post I wrote about how the end of our breath is the start of his. This week he showed me how it would work. All week I fasted. All week I was hungry. My body rebelled; my mind picked up its game everything in me save my soul fought against me. My flesh wanted me to live the lie of the world. The flesh is in control. You must eat, you must obey. You must be human. This lie, so cleverly disguised.

"It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' Matthew 4:4

This week I learned that no matter where we are in life we can cry out to God and he will answer. He will comfort, he will show up. When we reach the end of our self he will be there. He is our guide, our leader, our salvation our everything.

What an awesome lesson.

Yesterday after five hungry frustrating days my small group attended a church wide night of worship and prayer. We were there for the first two hours praising and praying.

The Lord is in the house!

No question. As I prayed I had a clear sense that the Holy Spirit had come upon me. He was in my prayer. What power, what an awesome God.

So the week ended. A week of sacrifice, a week of obedience a week of worship. Wow. What absolute joy, what revelation what an awesome God.

I cannot wait to do this again!

Father

I have no words, only the longing of my heart for you

Praise you

The End of Your Breath is the Start of Mine

2008-01-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

I love to ride my mountain bike. The more uncertain the terrain, the steeper the climb, the more determined and happy I become. For me there is absolute joy in riding in the wilderness, being in nature enjoying this God given gift. There are times when I feel as if I could ride forever, be totally at one with nature and my God; no greater feeling than this. Then there are other times, times when on a steep climb I reach the end of my endurance, when a cutting wind will not relent, when the rain chills to the bone, when the sun bakes the skin or the dust dries out my mouth. At these times I want to stop, catch my breath drink deeply of cool water and allow my heart to slow back down. I want a break; I want to catch my breath.

A few months back I was riding in the San Gabriel Mountains at my churches men’s retreat. A group of us had decided in advance to ride that afternoon. We drove up to the end of the street and discussed where to ride. Many wanted to ride down the fantastically steep road to the camp. What an adrenaline rush to ride a bicycle over 30 mph. A smaller group wanted just a little more. We set off up and up the trail at the end of the road. We climbed the steep trail to its end in the California wilderness. The beauty took your breath away, tall trees, crisp cold air, the faint sound of a river and wildlife in the background. Two of us decided to go a little further up yet, blazing our own trail through the pine covered underbrush and rocky ground.

I can barely convey the raw beauty of this place. To share it with a Christian brother and my God was almost too much for me. We prayed at the top of our climb basking in the glory of his majesty. While there a thought came to me. It was God speaking to me in his usual way, a quiet thought in the back of my mind. This day (this weekend for that matter) I was listening carefully for his voice. I heard him clearly and knew it would be the theme of this very post.

When you reach the end of your breath, you find the start of mine.

I knew what he meant. Stop relying on yourself and find strength in me. For in your weakness you will find my strength. This was a loving act, fatherly advice to an ignorant stubborn sinner. He was trying to save me from the grief he knew I would endure through rebellious acts of my own creation in the not so distant future.

He breathed life into me in the beginning, he will be there when I breathe my last, he will welcome me into his kingdom. His breath not mine.

On his earth I have been given an endowment. An endowment that can be used any way I choose. He wanted me to trust in him rely on him and come to him for guidance and support, for comfort and wisdom. I need to do this and stop relying on myself. I love the way he reveals himself to me. I loved that moment because I was immediately aware of his voice not some time after the fact, no it was real time.

It took a while to sink in, to realize the lesson behind the quote. Finally I get it, I understand. As I battled with sin today this story came back and guided me to surrender myself to my father in prayer. I reached the end of myself and gave the problem over to him and was delivered. I praise God for this.

I think it time to return to my mountain playground, to ride pray and worship. To lose myself in another ride and find him, that is what I seek. I want to be in him, he is my guide, my protector, my strength, my deliverer my breath.

Father I praise your name
I thank you and praise you for the gift of wilderness
I praise you for your word to me
For revealing to me a loving guidance
You are the air I breathe

Amen

The Kingdom belongs to such as these Part II

2008-01-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

Here is the second half of my hike onto the wilderness of the San Gabriel mountain range last month. Such a powerful time. I pray that this story inspires you to go out an meet God.

Meeting God

I had not intention of rock climbing this day do I set off to the east. Having spied a curious fireplace and stone chimney in the middle of a weed covered plain, I wanted to see what this was all about. I hiked across the plain and ran out of trail. The challenge now was to go down across the plain blazing my own trail. Knowing that this is the home of wild animals, poisonous spiders and snakes I quickly changed into hiking boots for the rest of the journey.

I traversed several hundred yards of uneven weed covered ground and in the midst of this time the Lord came to me. It was a gentle sense that came upon me that as much as I was enjoying this time with him he was with me. He made me to love the out doors he made me to experience the wonder of exploration. It was as if he was encouraging me onward into this journey of discovery. He brought to mind a verse from Mark 10:14.

Let them come to me for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

The Lord had shared with me his delight at seeing how the child in me found such wonder in this journey to be with him.

A Lone Chimney

I arrived within two hundred yards of the chimney only to find my path blocked by a trench. Recent rains had carved a ten foot deep and six foot wide chasm in the earth. It would be stupid to jump and even dumber to try to climb down and up its sheer sides. I set off to find an easier crossing. About five hundred yards downhill I found a spot where the chasm had broadened out, this provided a much shallower crossing. I jumped across and hiked back up the other side. This may seem rather inconsequential but by then I was over two hours into this hike chilled to the bone and 40 hours into my fast, climbing back up the slope was not something I wanted to do. Curiosity and wonder on this trip would be indulged.

I do not know still what to make of the fireplace. I could imagine it the hearth of an early settler to the area. I could imagine it being built by a grape farmer to ward off the chill of an early morning in his vineyard. I could imagine many a story of what this was. The facts though said that it was a solitary fireplace built of river rock and mortar. It was elevated from the ground though erosion could have made it only appear so. There was no foundation around it for a building of any sort. Could this have been built for camp outs? I don’t think so for the imprint of rafters and joists were clear in the mortar above the fire place. This used to be a building but what?

Again I prayed, perhaps this fireplace was a witness to something I would never know. Perhaps it was simply a signpost for me on my journey and I would know no more of it. I prayed for the saints, I prayed for those who stood up and were persecuted for Christ. I praised my Heavenly Father.

Rivers of Living Water

I continued on east, traversing the slope. I found a trail again and the going was easier yet not easy. I listened to the wind cutting through the hill across the plain and could almost here God whispering to me. After some time the ground once again became familiar and as it did so I recalled a sight on this part of the slope that had previously captivated me.

This area is truly a desert. We get only a few inches of rain per year mostly in January-February. What captivated me was that in the fall I found a mountain stream cutting through a deep valley. From the time I first saw it I knew I must visit it and today was the day.

Worship

I reached the edge of the valley and surveyed the scene below. From where I stood to the valley floor was a drop of about 100 feet, relatively steep and covered with small trees. A hike down would be difficult perhaps but not impossible. I climbed down extremely carefully. To fall and be injured in this place could mean a not so silent night amongst the stars. I reached the bottom climbed across the rocks to the stream. I remain amazed at the beauty of nature that our Lord has provided. A cold mountain stream cutting into a barren desert waste land, how could this be? Regardless I found a spot beside the cool waters and sat down. I soaked in Gods majesty in this beautiful place. I pulled out my bible and began to read in earnest. There were three psalms that came immediately to mind 121, 23 and 46. I read each aloud carefully and slowly, soaking in each word as I did so. I read from Revelation 22 about streams of living water and then I prayed. This was my worship session, such a powerful time with the lord. I played Jeremy Camp’s Empty Me and Chris Tomlin’s Strength Will Rise then I prayed again.

I praised my Heavenly Father in song, in prayer and in silence and wonder. I praised him for the beauty of this place. Before I left I took a page out of the Old Testament. I stepped across the stream and upon a large rock I set up a small monument to my Heavenly Father. Four stones, a large flat stone with a pile of two atop each other on one end and a single stone on the other. For here I met God and sat at his feet.

I will return to this place sometime soon. Will the monument be there? Perhaps, perhaps not, what will be there though is the image in my heart of the day the Lord and I met and went for a hike together in his wilderness.

Father thank you

Thank you for meeting me

Thank you for watching over me

Thank you for guiding my fast, for honoring my desire to meet you

Thank you for revealing to me our shared love of your creation

Thank you for being my father

Thank you for being

I know that you are God

Thank you for helping me to be still long enough to find you

Thank you for streams of living water

For life in a seemingly dead place

For safety in a dangerous land

Thank you father

In your son’s victorious name I pray

Amen

The Kingdom belongs to such as these

2007-12-31T13:04:00.000-08:00

Today I want to share with you a story of obedience and hope. What began as a simple urging to fast and pray for my wife and children turned into so much more, so very much more. In this post I will share the first half of my journey to meet the Lord in the mountains.

A Hike

It was two Saturdays ago. I asked my brothers in my men’s group “Have you ever felt the urge to get away and pray for an extended time? Half a day in the wilderness, I feel called to go on a hike to be with God and pray.” In these moments I felt a sense of self consciousness come over me. I love these guys, they are like brothers, I did not want to appear self righteous, I did not want to seem better than them. Actually I know that they are in many ways my betters in the faith. My question came from a sincere and vulnerable place. I had never felt this urge before and pondered if they had.

Their answers were non specific; they talked of seasons of prayer for specific causes, for the need of prayer lists, even good books on prayer life. As happens to me from time to time, their answers seemed fuzzy and missed the heart of my question. I came away feeling like they had not answered me at all. Had they never felt this urge? Did I word the question in an unclear manner? I do not know. What I did know was that I had an odyssey to plan.

Planning the Trip

I chose the day carefully, December 27^th. Far enough after Christmas to be uncomplicated yet prior to the weekend when my couples small group had an event planned. The most significant activity to plan and execute was the 24 hour fast prior to the hike. This had to be entered into prayerfully and with commitment. I love to eat I knew that only for God would I forgo eating. The fast was hard. Taking my mind off of eating was very challenging especially with Christmas leftovers sitting temptingly in the fridge. When the urge to eat became unbearable I would bow my face and pray. Each time I did so the Lord granted my temporary relief from the hunger gnawing at my belly.

The day began innocent enough. I packed a backpack with hiking boots, frozen (the night before) water bottles, nutrition drinks (just in case), my cell phone (emergency use only), my ipod (with a vast array of Christian music), the book Restored (Neil Anderson) and most importantly my Bible.

A Cold Winter Wind

I was dressed in layers to ward off the early morning chill and what I expected to be breezy conditions on the south side of the San Gabriel Mountains, I would not be disappointed. I walked the two mile distance to the edge of suburbs to the start of the North Etiwanda preserve. Those who have read my posts will know this is the place I ride my mountain bike and go to pray often. I listened to Restored the whole way thanks to Brian Hardin who read the book as part of his podcast ministry Daily Audio Bible. Mr. Anderson’s book is excellent and a must read for Christians at any stage of their walk. I stopped to pray often as the hike up is intense, a great primer for what was to come.

The early part of the hike was to retrace the path of my mountain bike rides. I stopped and prayed at my normal bike ride place. I continued on to the site of my private worship session when I was promoted a few months back and prayed again. Then onto the areas I had not yet covered. There is a high plateau in the hills just before the actual mountains that can be seen from anywhere in the city. It is unremarkable except that there are two mature Pine trees standing sentinel over it. It is such a contrast to see deep green pine tress in a sea of scorched brown hill side. For the entire 7.5 years I have lived here I have considered hiking to this place, all the while imagining that God himself would meet me there. The hike was hard straight up no breaks other than those I took. True to form there was a strong cold gusting wind working against me the whole way up. The fast I had been on was now taking its toll digging into energy reserves I did not know I had. Yet I soldiered on believing that God would meet me on this plateau.

It was both distressing and fascinating to see the hand of man on this hillside. I had expected pristine hardly touched landscape but instead found spent shotgun shells, broken beer bottles, and random debris scattered along the worn out trail. At one point I saw an old Dodge Van used as target practice. I rusted hulk riddled with the blast holes of gunfire.

A Plateau but not a Peak

I arrived at the plateau with a sense of jubilation. Now I will pray, now the Lord will meet me. Funny how things worked out, this was the most underwhelming part of the trip. I said a prayer but felt that although God was with me he had something else planned. So I took a break, took some photos and took in the view of the inland empire stretching our before me. It was quite a sight but this place was not to be the highlight of the trip.

I continued onward and upward, I hiked up till I ran out of trail and the very mountain range was upon me. The wind here was bitterly cold and the sweat off my back soaked my cloths turning into a chill to the bone.

I will post the rest of the story of this wonderful trip in a few days.

In the meantime I wish everyone a happy and blessed new year

May our Heavenly Father bless you richly and be with you always throughout this coming year

Ron

Merry Christmas Everyone

2007-12-26T19:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

Last week I shared how difficult it is for me to enjoy the Christmas season. I am excited to share that this year was different. For all the reasons I cited in the past two posts I took steps to change. I made what gift giving I did engage in meaningful and specific. I spent time quality with my family but most of all Christ was in the center of our Christmas.

Christmas Eve was spent in worship with close friends at our church. The “carols” were powerful and focused on Christ’s entry into our world and the providence he represents. They were so powerful I found myself swept up into the worship of the moment praising our heavenly father. Christmas morning was spent first in scripture Isaiah 7:14, 9:6-7, 53:2-6, Luke 2:1-7 this was followed by earnest prayers by my children. Rather conveniently our pastor had made a point of sharing these verses and placing them in a prominent place in our bulletin. Not like an answer to prayer to earnestly seek to start Christmas morning in the bible… Nah!

The best part of the day was watching the emotion of my wife as she opened the gifts I had carefully selected for her. What a joy! A great day in the loving embrace of family. At the end of the day I realized I had not yet listened to my daily bible reading courtesy of Brian Hardin at the Daily Audio Bible. As I listened to Nehemiah, Revelation, the Psalms and Proverbs, it was if being wrapped in a warm loving Godly hug. As the bible readings ended I played Chris Tomlin for a while and had my own private worship session as I slipped off to sleep.

Merry Christmas everyone

Ron

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, your soul

2007-12-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31

If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you have no doubt heard this well known verse. It echoes through the halls and rafters of churches throughout the world. After the great commission and John 3:16 this has got to be the most famous of verses in the bible. Yet for all the time I have known this verse its meaning has always seemed so obvious to me. That is until about 5 weeks ago when our pastor used it in discussing authentic Christian relationships.

Maybe you already get this, but in the past I looked at this verse and saw the instruction to love God and to love your neighbor only. The neighbor part can be difficult at times especially when someone wrongs you, but the message is clear. Love your neighbor anyway. In fact there is another verse that says very clearly to treat your enemy with kindness, no mistaking the instruction right?

Well there was a nuance in the words that our pastor pointed out which was not previously clear. Love your neighbor how? Love them as yourself? WOW!

Do you love yourself?

In my last post I mentioned that I was going to pray about why I struggle with Christmas. The Lord very clearly gave me this verse as an answer to my prayer. I will explain.

What exactly does it mean to love yourself in a Christian context?

Do you accept yourself for who you are? Do you wish you were taller, better looking, richer, more eloquent, more healthy, less lonely?

At various times in my life I have struggled with some of these. As a leader I know that physical appearance inexplicably matters. To be six foot instead of five foot ten, to be charismatic and energetic in a room of strangers. I would be lying if I said I did not sometimes want this. To not have to deal with the uncertainty of life and be financially secure wouldn’t that relieve some stress. Heck I have always dreamed of being a professional hockey player too, lets through that old bone in!

These wants and dreams are not who I am in Christ. My heavenly father made me in his own image, he knew me before I was born. He had plans for me!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Who am I to imply through selfish desire that the Lord’s design for me is imperfect? An arrogant ungrateful ignorant fool perhaps. Who am I not to embrace who he made me? Who am I not to discover who I am in Christ and live it for all I am worth? Who am I to selfishly consider myself over his creation?

Well who am I? I am a child of the most high God, created in his own image, designed for a purpose, made to love and worship my heavenly father, made to serve his people. As I have discovered and grown in the gifts he has bestowed upon me, I have learned not only to accept myself for whom I am but to marvel at how wonderfully the Lord put me together for his purpose in my life. The closer I get to his purpose in my life the more joy I feel in my being.

So I accept myself but Love?

Well yes it gets a bit complicated here for me. Emotion and empathy are not my strong suit, yet the Lord has been growing these in me steadily. I have come to embrace who I am and find joy in being who I was made to be. The more joy I feel the stronger the positive emotions I feel about myself.

There is another side to this though. I have come to see where I am weak, where I am challenged. While I still dislike these aspects of myself, in the past there was shame, disgust, embarrassment and many other negative emotions. The Lord has revealed to me that the areas I am weak, the areas I struggle, they too have a purpose. When I hear of someone who fails publicly in areas I struggle I have empathy not judgment and condemnation. I have a strong desire to minister to others and love them because of my struggles not in spite of them.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

In some small way I think this is similar to what Christ did for us. I believe we are called to take on the burdens of others, to help them through their pain, just as Isaiah prophesied Jesus would.

Forgiveness

A key piece of this love puzzle is this concept of forgiveness. We cannot truly love ourselves and hate ourselves at the same time. So when we behave in some way that contradicts who we are we must confess it to the Lord to receive his forgiveness and we must forgive ourselves also. After all our sin was nailed to the cross of our savior, who are we not to forgive ourselves.

So I have learned to love myself. I accept who I am, I embrace God’s gifts in me, I use my weakness for God, and I forgive myself.

When I live this model well my ability to love others increases and my desire to spend time with others also increases. When I stumble the exact opposite happens, I detach and desire distance from others.

Christmas

When I was a boy the real meaning of Christmas was a mystery to me. My focus at the time was on the presents, I am not proud of this, embarrassed actually. The thing is I knew the Christmas story early on, it was told each year in mass. The story never came to life for me though; it was simply an elongated gospel reading that prolonged the time away from my new toys and stuff. As I grew the story did not change much. It always seemed that the commercial aspect of Christmas trumped the spiritual but then I had an unstable foundation. In the renaissance of my faith I have a strong yearning to connect with Christ, to put him in his rightful place at the center of Christmas.

So you see there are significant forces that always seem to steal the joy of Christmas. (Or said more correctly there are forces that I allow to interfere with my Christmas experience. I am responsible here, no victims allowed!) First my own weak sense of experience in a joyful meaningful Christmas and second my tendency to withdraw when faced with parts of me I don’t like. So each year I enter into the season as a broken record hoping for a better result and unclear how to change the experience. The result: yet another disappointing Christmas.

It is often said the first step in learning is to become aware of what we previously could not see. Is the greatest commandment the answer to a joyful Christmas? Yes I think so. I must love God fully and all the while love my neighbor as myself.

Merry Christmas

After more prayer and thanksgiving I expect this will be a different Christmas for me.

Father I praise you

for your Son

for you word

for revelation

for Christmas

for the greatest gift ever given

I praise you

amen

Ron

Tis the Season...

2007-12-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas…

For all the significance this event has, for all the wonder that is Christ, I struggle with Christmas.

I would really like to understand why. When I am done with this post I will pray about this very thing.

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Is 7:14

I love the Old Testament prophesy announcing the virgin birth. I love all the wonder associated with the Lord Jesus Christ. I often want to find a way to make Christmas worship more meaningful. I want to thank God for the miraculous gift of his son.

All the while the world swirls around me and my family. The pervasiveness of consumerism is oppressive. Buy this, indulge in that, no payments for 90 days, credit trouble we can finance you, spend spend spend.

This is not what Christmas is about.

I want a Christmas where Christ is central. I want a Christmas where we wake up on Christmas morning and pray first. I want a Christmas where the glory and honor go to God not to man.

I am not big on Christmas carols. I struggled with this for some time. Fortunately I have learned that it is not that I do not like carols. It is just that I am frustrated with the same ones over and over and over and over and over. You get the point.

Last Christmas out of frustration, I purchased a Mercy Me Christmas CD. It was a mix of older songs sung their way and their own music. I loved it. This year my wife and I purchased a Jars of Clay Christmas CD, I love it too.

Praise God I can honor him in song with music I love that does not seem tired and old.

There are some things I like about the season. I eagerly anticipate this months Adopt a Block Saturday. Sharing the season of life and giving with those in need, now that is exciting! Of course I do this every month though. I look forward to meeting with my small groups and basking in our friendships, celebrating the season. I look forward to spending time with family and friends reinforcing the love that exists between us. I look forward to reaching out to old lost friends and strangers and the hope of new or renewed relationships.

What will bring me a true sense of joy in this season? Worship? Giving? Service? Time with family? New traditions? Old traditions? All these will play a role I am sure.

What works for you? How do you put Christ in Christmas?

I think it is time I prayed…

What if God ran Google…

2007-12-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

The other day I was messing around in Google analytics marveling at the statistics it provides. It shows me where people who visit this site come from, how they found it, how long they stayed etc. I wish it told me your names so I could thank you for reading this work, but it does not.

What I have learned is that most people who visit do so organically. A googleized term meaning you typed in a search word and clicked onto the site. No big deal right? It is actually. 80% of the people who find the site do so through organic google searches.

You see I did not set out to build a popular site, frankly I am happier to be in obscurity since I am being uncomfortably transparent here. So if you don’t tell your friends about the site, fine, really! I set out to honor God. I set out to document my own faith journey and in doing so hoped that it might touch some person who might find God themselves in part from reading my story. That is it the only goal.

Funny thing happened in Google analytics when I realized the significance of an 80% organic score with a healthy growing reader base. I was hitting near the top of search phrases in google! That is the only way people who do not know me were finding the site.

I am humbled to discover that for certain search phrases I was coming up on the second and even first page of google results. This stunned me. Imagine being in the top twenty results of hundreds of thousands of hits even in tens of millions. For those of you who may not know it is commonly believed that if you do not show up on the first three pages of google people will not find you since they either refine their search or stop looking further. So here I am on page one and two. What keywords were amplifying my search results?

how do I know if I am saved

This question when entered into google spits one of my blog posts out at # 17 of 12,900,000 results!

When I saw this and realized the post actually was not even intended to answer this question directly I was shaken. You see google has a complicated algorithm it uses to rank the importance of web articles and returns them accordingly. It returned my post in the top 0.000013% of all results.

I do not believe this is accidental, a coincidence, even a fancy algorithm, I believe this is God at work using this post to reach out to those curious about what it means to be saved.

So then I started to get creative…

What if God ran Google

It would not be spiders crawling web sites it would be saints
It would no longer be pay per click, but kneel per click
Safe search really would be
Search result 12,900,000 would of course be shown first and mine would be ranked 12,899,983’rd
Never again would you skip past a seemingly unrelated result but stop and wonder “What is he trying to tell me here???”
Somehow the words Prayer, Worship, Faith Hope and Love would mysteriously appear in every search. Love would of course be first and in bold font.
No matter how hard they try to remove his name, God would appear in the text of every search
You could conduct the same keyword search day after day and get completely different and richer meaning from the results
The poor of spirit would always get the quickest response times and best search results
Somehow the rich guy, he just couldn’t get the search button to actually work and return any results
All the old school web experts would be offended and refuse to consider what their search results meant
And when the final search was hit it would return a simple message that every knee should bow and every tongue confess the name of Jesus.

Do you have any others? I would love to hear them. Post a comment.

Father I thank you for all you do to draw us near

I praise you for the creative spirit you have blessed us with

I praise you for keen intellects

Father I pray that you continue to shower us with your blessings

That we continue to seek you in all our actions in all our heart

I thank you for our salvation and hope in your son

Our savior

Jesus Christ

Amen

The Desert

2007-11-29T17:00:00.000-08:00

I was reflecting the other day on the highs and lows of the journey to discipleship in Christ and realized I had a story to tell. Here it is.

The Desert

In 2000 I left the only company I had ever worked for to move west to California. It seemed the right move to make. I was done with my old company and the new job was exactly what I had been seeking. You know many people thought my wife and I brave. We left our country, our home, the only company I had ever known for a new life in socal. We didn’t think ourselves brave, just decisive and perhaps adventurous. As a life long catholic who had only two years prior begun to rediscover his faith, the decision process was embarrassingly secular. I did not seek Gods wisdom in prayer, I did not pray for the success of the transition. We just negotiated a good deal and moved.

We had no church to call home, we had no friends, we had no relatives within 2400 miles to lean on. We had nothing but each other. We had God of course but we did not know how to seek him. I did not know how to pray beyond a Hail Mary and an Our Father. Somehow neither seemed to be on point.

We were in a desert of our own making.

Have you ever felt loneliness? Have you felt the sting of not being able to reach out and connect with people? To suffer alone, to be a shadow of your full vibrant self, to have no friends? Do you know this pain? This is not the church of Christ described in Acts 2:42!

We tried local catholic churches, none fit. I am not sure the local churches in socal have heard of the second Vatican council. Latin masses and blind faith?! No this is not my idea of spending time with God. We continued searching. Months past, it felt like years. I prayed longingly for Godly men to come into my life to befriend. Someone with whom I could share my heart.

After months of loneliness and quiet suffering, we were invited to a Lutheran church. If only the Lutherans knew how similar they are to Catholics. It is profoundly saddening to know how much we share yet neither cannot admit to. The Lutheran tradition was so close to what I had come to love in Catholicism that the transition was softened. We quickly were welcomed into this church family and began to heal and eventually grow once again in our faith.

Was this desert a lesson? I certainly think so. It takes me back to my favorite verse in Jeremiah (29:11) Seek me with all your heart says the lord and I will be found by you. I will release you from captivity.

This desert time was long and painful, lonely and discouraging yet through it we emerged even more dependent on God, even more committed to our faith, even more resolved to move toward complete surrender and one day be a disciple totally on fire for God.

Let me end this post on the word that the Lord gave me as I wrote it for I know this verse was given to me so that I might know he was with me through this challenging time in "the desert"

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Mt 11:28

Praise be your Holy name Father

May you grant me the wisdom to seek you in all the decisions of my life

That I may make your will mine and that I would honor you always

In your son's victorious name I pray

Amen

I Look Onto the Hills

2007-11-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

Psalm 121, my favorite.

I returned to my mountain playground this afternoon after several weeks of straight road biking. If you read my previous post What's in your wallet you will know that the fall is fire storm season and riding in the bone dry scorched brush mountains is not so safe an activity.

It has been cool and dry for a while now (60-70 degrees) California cool so I thought I could safely ride again. Returning to my outdoor prayer closet is an indescribable joy for me. You see on the road I have no private place to pray.

My prayer time today was powerful. The combination of personal weakness, solid sermons on prayer and the holy spirit, reading about prayer and surrender, listening to bible podcasts all combined for a climatic prayer experience. I was so relieved to be back in the Lords presence, so humbled to talk to him, so sad at my own weakness.

Yet the Lord is good and his grace abounds.

These past few weeks I have found myself drifting, drifting away from the Lord's protective hand. I found myself deceived by the evil one, separated and attacked. Yet the Lord's grace abounds and his love infinite. Today I confessed my sin and weakness and asked forgiveness. I interceded on behalf of many in my life who are lost and hurting. I prayed my dangerous prayer; use me Lord, your will be done through me.

For I know there is no condemnation in Christ and the weakness in me is of the flesh. I am not my flesh I am a child of the most high God, saved and washed clean by the blood of my savior Jesus Christ. Victory.

Father

I praise your Holy name.
I thank you for your son, his sacrifice
I confess my own weakness and shortcomings
I beg your forgiveness
I praise you Father.

Amen

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

Today is a day for reflection and thanksgiving. I pray all my readers a peaceful day filled with family and friends. May your celebrations be all that you desire. May you find many reasons to be thankful. I hope you take the opportunity to thank those who have been a blessing in your life. may all of us recognize the source of our life and being and thank our heavenly Father for his generosity.

This is my 10^th American thanksgiving celebration after over 30 of them in Canada. It is a fascinating thing to consider the differences between the two. Today however I can only focus on the common theme of gratitude prayer and thanks.

To all my family, friends, and acquaintances I thank you for the influence you have had in my life.

I pray each of you will have a wonderful celebration of thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving

Ron

Tent City: "State and Grove"

2007-11-17T19:35:00.001-08:00

Do you love me Peter? Feed my sheep

I looked into the eyes of Alice as I smiled and shook her hand. Alice had seen life the hard way; living out of a run down tent in the bad part of Ontario California, Alice has seen life. She had bad decaying teeth, leathered pock marked skin and tattered dirty cloths. She was searching for a blanket, maybe a newer pair of shoes.

Do you love me Peter? Tend my lambs

There was Ianna. She had been on the street for a couple of months. Her boyfriend had left her. She had nowhere to go no one to reach out to. Her tent had burned to the ground. She showed us scars on her forearm where the nylon material had scared her permanently. She was searching for a jacket and baby cloths. She shared how she was bipolar.

Do you love me Peter? Feed my sheep John 21:15-18

I said hello to Bobby. He blessed us and shared how he had been on the streets now for three years. He lived out of his truck with his old dog, his companion. Bobby could have been Jesus himself. He had deep blue eyes that seemed out of place in this land of despair.

I watched as Alice received a burger, water and some snacks from other volunteers. The gratitude was sincere. This was a lady who depended on the generosity of others. Other came through the food line, so many others.

There were those who had given up on life resignation written all over their face, others who had a glimmer of hope that seemed to be ground out of them moment by moment. A jet screams overhead clawing its way into the sky. I had been in one just days earlier taking off from the Ontario CA airport bound for Portland over this very spot. All the while I was praising God for his blessing on my life. If only that praise and blessing could have rained down on these brothers and sisters as the jet thundered over head.

There were those whose minds were not right, who struggled just to exist. Those who had fear and pain etched into their face. You wanted to wash it off to care for them to help them up. So much pain so much fear, so much despair. It hurt to watch, it hurt to be there.

In the dry dust of an empty field over 200 hopeless, homeless carved out a life, no a survival. No heat, no plumbing, no air conditioning, no sound insulation, this was a hell on earth. Yet in the midst of all the misery there was hope. Several Christian churches were there handing out food, handing out cloths, handing out love.

I was there for a few hours and it changed me, wrecked me actually. My son and I left there in a somber mood. We both thought of these people all day, we resolved to return to the tent city in Ontario. To hand out love and to share the hope of the gospel of our savior Jesus Christ.

Will you join me?

Father

today I felt your pain, your heartbreak over your children

Your people suffering, living in despair

People who have no one nothing, people who need you

Father, it was such as these you sought to save, to heal

I pray that you use me, you teach me how to care for these

to care for your people

Father I pray that this blog touches those who can make a difference

A difference with their hands and their hearts

I pray that many of your people will wake up and feel the suffering around them

and finally do something about it Father

Do not let me lose this heart ache I feel

Use me to help your people

amen

Ron

Retreat! no Advance...

2007-11-16T05:59:00.000-08:00

I am in such a joyous place. I returned Sunday from my churches men’s retreat in a glow. I had expected to have a mountain top experience. I had expected to celebrate with my heavenly father a year of obedience spending time with him every morning. I had expected many things.

What I found was so totally different and beyond what I had hoped for. It was as if everything I experienced had happened in slow motion. I had so many revelations, so many moments of clarity, it is hard to describe. Yet it is simple. The revelation came later so much later. I returned to work Monday exhausted and aglow. All I wanted to do was worship, worship, pray and worship. What an incredible place to find myself. It was ridiculously impossible to concentrate on Monday. I basked in the glow of revelation. I enjoyed the momentary pleasure of knowing after the fact that I truly had communed with my heavenly father. I think he just held up my understanding until afterward so as to manage my tender and immature spiritual emotions.

Cabin Time

So if you did not know I am called to lead. I would find a way to lead putting out the garbage if it made sense to do so. When I arrived at the retreat, I immediately did the opposite of what I would normally do. I sought deliberately to follow, to serve, to ensure the retreat was a success. I took on any role necessary.

The message this night seemed peculiar to me. Leadership in the home. It fit the theme of the retreat but it was a stretch for me. Despite this I resolved to be in the moment and see where the spirit would lead. He led to the cabin and a particularly important discussion with the men there. We discussed the leadership role of a man in his home and family. We discussed many things. At one point I was asked why I did not pray with my wife regularly. Was it fear, embarrassment, pride? For me it was fear and self consciousness. Uncertain of my wife’s reaction to this question, I avoided it. I asked her Sunday if she would pray with me daily. Her response…Yes. I have done so for the past three days Praise God.

The same conversation was held related to children. In the end again I resolved to pray for them daily as well. This is a relief. The guilt I have carried on this front has been significant. Today I am free of this burden. Praise you heavenly father.

The River Bank

Saturday morning our pastor delivered a thought provoking message on the life of Peter. Each word seemed to cut deeply as I considered the meaning of Peter’s actions and how they related to my life. After an hour of in depth study our pastor abruptly stopped. He invoked his right as our spiritual leader, commanded us to talk to no one except God for the next hour. Get into a quiet place and talk really talk to your father, go.

I obediently left the chapel and searched for a location to be alone with God. I found a spot on the edge of a mountain stream; a place scoured by winter rivers of Californian flash flood. The cold dry ground sparkled in the weak noonday sun. Even the rocks sparkled a limp gold color in the sun. I sat in the dirt and in earnest prayed. I sought my father. I begged him to show up. Help me to clear my mind of the funk and dirt of life, those clouding thoughts that keep me from greater intimacy with him

For half an hour I quieted my mind and sought him. My mind swirled from thoughts of worldly things to deeper contemplation of my faith journey. Deep, deep within I found his words. Pride, lust, approval. I knew what he meant. My ego (pride) has my whole life kept me from surrendering to him, kept me from greater intimacy. Lust became a discussion of his victory in me. A battle to be wary of. The enemy still is on the prowl looking to bring me down. But this day, this month I am totally in him in this battle and I claim victory in his holy name. Then there was approval. I know that I seek his approval in my life as I have from my earthly father.

I lifted up in order each word. I asked for his forgiveness. I cast out each word from my person. I begged for the Holy Spirits intervention in my battle against pride. I praised my heavenly father for his deliverance on the lust front. I lifted up “approval” and sought his wisdom. I vowed to seek him just because I loved him, not for his approval. I would seek him however long necessary, I would seek him to love him. As I contemplated the word love and what an intimate relationship with God would mean…my radio squawked “Ron from Water of Life come in”

Ron From Water of Life Come in!

The moment was broken, intimacy disappeared in an instant. I could have gotten upset. I could have ignored the call. I could have done many things. This day I did what was needed. I had vowed to serve this weekend. I was to be the liaison between the retreat staff and our leadership, a Godly gopher! So liaise I did. I addressed the concern. As I let the transmit button on my radio loose, I fell to my face in tears. I wanted so badly to re-commune with God, to claim back the moment. It was gone. It was soon replaced with peace and a bright smile. I was here to serve and serve I will. No towel for me, obscurity such a better place. I served with joy and purpose dealing with the issues of the day to ensure a smooth experience for our group.

Praise and Worship

So those of you who know me through this blog know that worship is not my strong suit…yet. Well that would change too. This weekend had more time in worship than I have experienced since the last Promise keepers conference I attended a few years back.

Friday, Saturday morning, Saturday evening, I struggled. Yes there were moments where I was in the spirit praising and worshiping. I could not stay there though. Sunday morning was different. Was it the music, the song choices, I don’t rightly know. What I do know is God showed up for me. A simple whisper “on your knees” I obeyed and their started one of the most profoundly God charged worship times I have experienced. From my knees to my face, I worshiped my heavenly father. As I did so he revealed to me further that pride was not the only root, selfishness was there also

Will you pray for me?

I found myself walking to the front for an altar call. Part way there a brother from last years small group stood in praise. I asked him to pray for me, ask God to break the bonds of pride in my life. Over the decibels of the praise song my brother prayed hard for me. With a thankful hug I continued to the front. To my knees, to my face I prayed for forgiveness and deliverance to be selfless, to be humble.

Praise God. I left the retreat a changing (not changed too presumptuous) man of Christ.

How was the retreat Ron?

In the last three days I have been asked that question so many times. Each time, the Lord reveals a new detail of what we experienced together. So many moments so many stories.

I am a new creation in Christ. I am a man of God. I am forgiven, I am saved.

Praise God

Ron

He Speaks

2007-11-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

You know when I was just coming back to the faith I struggled with those who claimed supernatural intervention. Healings, conversations with God, speaking in tongues all these things used to make me extremely uncomfortable. Frankly most who claimed them I secretly thought were either quacks or at least a lot out of balance.

I think it was a combination of three factors that kept me from seeing God in these events. First I was a skeptic. As I reflect back on my skepticism now I realize this was actually an attack, a diversion. After all if these events were real and I could see it, how could my faith not be deepened. Second was fear. Again it goes like the old confrontational question either Christ was real or he was insane. He is real of course just so if these events were real then how could my faith in Christ not grow deeper. It seemed easier to resist this than embrace things I did not yet understand. Finally these events never happened to me. As an engineer, taught in the tradition of worldly science, I had no evidence to support the hypothesis. How then could it be objectively considered and proven, it could not.

So there I was a relatively naïve and new Christian trying to come to terms with things beyond my ability to process. Yet there was hope in Christ. It seems that the Holy Spirit had a remedial course in supernatural science planned for me. It started with a great kicking the gut. He revealed to me that there was an emptiness in my soul where only God could fit.

So in case there are any non Christians reading this let me state clearly that I have been extremely blessed. All of the usual arguments of how I could fall for Christianity fall short here. In worldly terms I am not weak, I am not unintelligent, and I am not unsuccessful. In heavenly terms I yes, consider myself all these things (weak, unintelligent, unsuccessful). May God be praised and receive all the glory for through his grace these are all washed away. For it is not about me. At all. I would rather be judged a fool by men than a fool by God. Got Christ? Only one answer is not foolish to this question.

Anyway, he kicked me in the gut, woke me up. He then started to reveal to me in very small glimpses his presence in my life. I have learned that he has always been there, waiting patently for me. These glimpses would come as improbable coincidence. A word spoken by multiple unrelated people into my life, a sermon that echoed a conversation held the previous day, a book found randomly that spoke to exactly what troubled me in the faith. For 10 years now these "coincidences" have continued. I recall after about three years feeling this sense that I needed to open myself up further to the holy spirit yet knowing that I was not ready. Surrender. I would learn later that even then I knew I had to surrender to my Lord.

The story continued a Men's bible study conducted over a one year period spoke the heart of the faith to me as each week revealed clearly theme after theme of the faith. Serving in leadership at my church taught me about selflessness and revealed my own lack of the same. Small groups taught me about the importance of love and community in the faith.

All these seemingly separate concepts kept coming together. Finally prayer, sorrowful, lonely prayers brought new friends into my life. Intercessory prayers for healing from cancer were answered. Prayers for deliverance from life's challenges answered. Prayers of self surrender answered with unimaginable opportunity.

So as I sit here now writing this post, I am aware of the transformation in my heart. When people speak in tongues, get healed, speak supernaturally, now I praise God for his revelation, his grace his kindness. No longer do I question whether it is real but how lasting the impact will be.

Does God Speak? Yes.

Father I praise you for your kindness, your mercy your intervention

I praise you for your patience

For waiting on me to get it

For your faithfulness

May I serve you in love always

Amen

What's in your Wallet

2007-10-26T15:43:00.000-07:00

I want to share with you a post I wrote on my other blog about four months ago. The lesson in the post was values and your awareness of them. In light of what is happening in communities all around my own in Southern California, this post is more relevant than ever. My perspective on the matter has if anything strengthened. What is in my wallet faith in an everlasting, ever forgiving ever loving all powerful God who gave his only son so that I might be saved, who sends his Holy Spirit to be with me each day.

Here is the post

What's in your Wallet...?

Priorities…

In October of 2003 the Mountains of San Bernardino County were awash in flames. The Grand Prix fire was in its glory burning across the countryside like a fully loaded freight train. Every evening the members of my community would gather on their street and watch as the flames glowed in the distance coming ever closer to our homes.

Rancho Cucamonga is on the edge of the deserts of southern California. It has a hot arid climate that is unforgiving in the dead of summer. Temperatures regularly top 115 degrees. Rain is scarce here. When the old song claimed it never rains in southern California, they were not kidding. A couple inches in January, February, a sprinkle in July and that’s about it for the year. You can imagine that all the brush and scrub is scorched and dry by the time the fall, I mean the fire season approaches. 03 was a particularly active and deadly year in so-Cal. It was a blessing that no one died in the Grand Prix fire but seven fire fighters down toward San Diego were not so lucky later that season in the OLD fire. Remember to say a prayer for those brave fire fighters and their families as they continue coping with their loss.

It was a Friday morning in late October. I remember it clearly because I awoke to a strong smell of smoke. I went outside to see where the fire had progressed to and was shocked. It was less than a mile from my house. Although I lived over a half mile from the fire line with other suburbs directly between my family and the fire, there was still cause for concern. You see there is an electrical right of way cutting down from the mountains running along the back wall of all my neighbors’ houses across the street from my house. The fire could burn up to within 300 feet of my front door. If the fire burns down here I thought all bets are off. It did!

So imagine being faced with an unthinkable situation. Your house and all your worldly possessions could go up in flames any minute.

What do you do?

What do you think about?

Do you panic?

Do you reach out for help?

Moments like these are, as one writer put it, when true character is revealed. I watched with fascination as a few of my neighbors packed everything conceivable into their oversized SUV’s and off to a safe place they scurried. Others casually sought hotel reservations and made a short holiday of the affair. What did I do?

I took stock of the situation and considered my values. Faith Family, Integrity, Learning Teaching. I decided that only the first two were at play here. Everything I “own” is on loan. I am a steward of the possessions God gave me. This made the decision easy. The stuff is irrelevant. It might be a good idea to grab the will, the insurance policies and the photos that could not be replaced, but that’s it. Next take care of the family. We were fortunate to be invited to stay in the home of a dear friend and pastor of our church. Tim welcomed us into his home and allowed us to ride it out. We never did worry about all the stuff. I returned home to see what was going on in the neighborhood that Saturday and saw a scene that only brave firefighters should ever see. Pitch black at 11 am. Air so thick you could cut it with a knife; ash and flaming debris floating down from the sky all around.

That fateful day taught me a lesson about myself and others. We all value something. I have heard it said that if you want to know what a person values study their check book or perhaps their debit card receipts these days. Where people spend their money is a pretty good indication of what they value. So to quote the credit card commercial…

What’s in your wallet?

Ron

Father

Today I lift up those brave souls who serve our community
those who volunteer to protect us

Father

keep all your fire fighters safe this day and all the days to come
I pray that all those misguided souls who stayed to save their homes would be with you today that they would be welcomed by you

All those caught by this tragedy would be comforted by you

In your victorious name I pray

amen

Cellars of the Heart

2007-10-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

When I was a child I used to have the odd nightmare. You know the ones where you are falling and falling and falling or the ones where you are being chased but your feet are in quicksand. There was one other that was not so much a nightmare but often turned into one on me. I would find myself in a strange house wandering through trying to figure out where I was. Room after room passage way after passage way you try to figure out where you are. At some point just like the "B" movies you go into the basement to see if you can find the electrical panel to turn the lights on. Has that ever happen to you?

A version of that scene came to me early yesterday morning during my men's bible study when our pastor clearly spoke about surrendering to God. Only this time I discovered in that basement the boarded up entrance to a deep cellar. Covered with cob webs smelling musty and unwelcoming, this is a place that screams Danger! Keep Out! Stout dirty beams nailed with large spikes ensured no one would ever be able to pull away the covering on this deep dark opening in the basement.

Whatever did this message mean? Unfortunately I know all too well. Like most men I compartmentalize my thought life. This is a really neat male feature; it allows you to function normally when you are angry, broken, hurting, or ashamed. Without this function most men could not pretend to be normal. They would be unable to function normally their brokenness would be too close to the surface; someone would find them out.

I was dealing that morning with a rebellious sin. I knew I had to address it but was content to keep it locked away securely in the cellar to be dealt with later. There was one little problem with my plan, the Lord wanted none of it. You see I have been reading a book called Total Surrender. This book was given to me by a Christian brother who has recently started investing in my faith life.

I want nothing more than to surrender completely to the Father and have prayed humbly to do so. Andrew Murray the author of the book clearly argued that to surrender we must empty our heart of our own selfish desires for the Holy Spirit to fill us with God's desires. See where this is going.

Ironically this subject of surrender has become a common theme these past few weeks. I am no different than most guys; a little slow in picking up spiritual clues. First the book, then the bible study. Sandwiched in the middle of these was a praise song sung at a worship service. The band that night had played wonderfully, until that song. For me it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. It was not that they were playing bad, it was that I am used to hearing Jeremy Camp sing this particular song; Empty Me. I am sure that my discomfort in hearing the band play this song was intentional. I needed to hear this warning bell.

Empty Me by Jeremy Camp

Holy Fire burn away,

my desire for anything

that is not of you and is of me,

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,

Empty me, yeah,

Fill, won't you fill me,

with you, with you, yeah.

I love this song. This night my quest to surrender heightened. I became aware of the fact that I need to be like an empty clay jar ready to receive. I need to uncover any blemishes, any closed off areas that keep me from full surrender.

So back to the cellar

As dearly as I have prayed to empty myself I have recognized that there is yet another cellar in the basement of by heart. One that has been long secured from the Lord. I cannot let him in, it must be held back. The funny thing is for the longest time I did not even know it was there. It was hidden amongst all the other junk in me. As this junk has been slowly removed by the Holy Spirit, this door became evident.

I cannot open this door on my own, it is too well secured. I need the help and strength of the Holy Spirit. The morning of the Bible Study I asked a brother to pray for me. The same man who has started to invest in my faith life. Have you ever confessed a sin to a brother and been afraid of what they might think? Ever done it anyway? I have. That morning, the spirit helped me muster the courage to confront my own rebellion. As he prayed over me, I could sense the Spirit washing over me covering me with what felt like a force field of protective covering. As much as I want to stick dynamite under this door in my heart and blow it up, I cannot. On my own I can do nothing to break into this stronghold of sin, but in the spirit, in Christ all things are possible.

This morning I could feel the thin edge of the wedge sliding into place behind the beams holding this door.

Father I need you more than ever
If I am to completely surrender
I need the intercession of the Holy Spirit
I cannot do the work in front of me
You can
Will you Father
I need you more than ever
Praise be your Holy name

amen

Dollar Store Jesus

2007-10-14T15:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sat to write a post to this blog and found my mind as dry as a desert. It was clear that the subject I wanted to write and finish, the third installment in "What's your Story?" just wasn't the one I had to write. So this afternoon I prayed that the Holy Spirit would guide my thoughts and fingers across the keyboard. Here is what came forth...

Dollar Store Jesus

I went out for drinks with my wife, a dear friend and her spouse on night last week. We were celebrating a promotion that God had engineered in my life. My friend did not know it as she is far from God but my true celebration was in worship the day of the offer two weeks prior.

So here we were two college friends and spouses toasting a new chapter, a new season literally drinking in the possibility. She and I had graduated from a masters program in leadership and management not 18 months prior. Both of us have been forever changed through the degree. It gave us the opportunity to deepen our wisdom, challenge our assumptions and find our leadership voice. I have watched my friend grow in confidence and capability as sure as an oak tree growing along the shore of a river. I too was changed by the program. It was the first time I started to incorporate my vocation (leadership) with my faith. In the early courses I spoke tentatively of how important my faith was in my life and leadership. Toward the end I was bold, a lion waiting to roar for my God. The transformation was discernible to all who knew me but especially my dear friend.

My friend and I shared a deep sense of loyalty to the concept of authenticity. We sought transparency and absolute integrity. What you see is exactly what you get. Make a promise, deliver period. This kindred sense came though from seemingly different places. My friend has wandered from her catholic roots, some deep scar clouding her ability to see that God is real. I believe the Holy Spirit is working in her much like he did with me when I was far from him. He kept chipping away at the edges, honing my character, pointing me in Godly directions, protecting me from myself. I believe he does so with my friend as well she has not seen it yet.

My friend comes from a Hispanic background, she is volcanic with passion, she has a joy for life that is unmatched and a tireless spirit. If you are in trouble this is the friend you would want at your side, you just know you can count on her. She has an infectious laugh; often I make ridiculous comments or take on peculiar accent just to hear it. When she laughs the room brightens immediately. Her own sense of humor is well developed. When the four of us get together it is not uncommon for all of us to laugh so hard that our faces hurt for hours afterward. Each time we all seem to be surprised by the amount of laughter that comes forth. God loves to laugh I am sure. I cannot help but think he is at the center of this time.

So this particular evening was no different. It seems that my friend had family come to visit from out of state. She proceeded to tell us the stories of how her relatives took over the house like the Tasmanian devil cartoon character takes over a forest: high speed action, a dust cloud and mayhem in the wake. We laughed hysterically as she related story after story that would have been implausible had this been a sitcom. When she got to the Jesus statue and the candles I perked up. I do this when I sense that my Lord is about to be grieved. But not so this day, she related how her relative had setup their own personal shrine complete with burning candles, Jesus and a saint statue complete with the flame of the Holy Spirit. My friend was reasonably concerned that the house might actually catch fire, after all the flood, the fight and the fridge stories were already in the books.

When she finished sharing how her catholic relative setup a shrine to pray to Jesus my wife remarked how it seemed as if her relative might have bought a dollar store Jesus; hence the name of this post.

I grew up a Catholic Christian. The traditions of my church have always been a great comfort to me. I love the warmth of a group confessional prayer, the sense of chanting that spans the millennia by billions of Christians. Yet something troubled me. I have reached a point in my walk where from reading and studying the bible where I realize that Christ is every where. The veil was torn at his crucifixion. We no longer need an intercessor to approach our Heavenly Father. I am no preacher, no theologian, just a Christian; but the father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are real. They influence my life in profound ways. They intercede for me, answer my prayers, they comfort me and protect me. I don’t need a dollar store Jesus statue to pray to.

I am beginning to understand why so many Christians look at the catholic traditions and see what looks like idol worship. I know it isn’t, they just don’t understand, I reason. But yet, why a statue? Is it a reminder, a symbol of what God represents…I do not know. Blind faith is in my life not faith at all. I must seek relationship with my heavenly father. I must know him and have an intimate relationship with him. I must love him with all my heart, soul and mind. Here in lies the journey to be taken, the life to be lived, a life of total surrender. In surrendering to Christ paradoxically lies a life of freedom and love. This is what I seek.

Father

I am yours

Fully

I want nothing more than to do your will

I want to know your love and have it channel through me to the lost of this world

I want to be yours hands, feet, whatever you need of me.

Father I lift up my dear friend to you

I beg of you to heal the brokenness in her

Help that part of her that keeps her from knowing your love.

Save her father

This daughter of yours is a gift of joy

Heaven would not be the same without her

Father

I love you

Amen

Larry the Biker

2007-10-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks I have experienced a number of profound moments that can only be described as God Inspired. One of these happened this past Saturday at my mens small group. After we finish off "What's your story?" I will share the others. One is called Dollar Store Jesus and the other Joy in the Offering. Todays story was so spiritual I never had a chance to consider that I should have been frightened...

Larry Steele

Larry was a biker. Not your forty something midlife yuppy trying to redefine his manhood on a Harley. No, Larry was a biker. He carried a carved bone handled knife in a leather sheath. He wore road cured chaps over well worn levis and a broken in leather jacket that clearly was the cure for serious bouts of road rash. A black bandana covered thinning hair; sunglasses protecting eyes that have seen more of life than many ever will. A hand rolled a cigarette dangled from his lips. Larry had an experienced hand that knew its way around rolling paper. No filters, no conforming to the ways of civilized man here. He should have scared us. He should have had us quaking in our shoes. Two middle aged guys meeting to discuss the bible; two men who admittedly have seen little of the violence and tragedy of this world. But there was no fear; we were in Christ this morning, firmly rooted in our faith and open to what may happen.

Larry pulled on his cigarette and let a cloud of smoke billow out over the patio we shared at Starbucks. He took a sip of coffee then called out’ “What are your guys reading?” “We are discussing the Gospel of Mark.” I replied. “And what does that good book have to say to us this fine morning?” he asked. My friend Art quoted from the gospel a compelling verse, “You must love God with all your heart, your mind and your soul”. And so began our discussion with Larry the biker.

It turns out Larry was on his way to Palm Springs to meet up with a large group of bikers. Bikers are a different breed they tend to congregate in out of the way places and “socialize”. Heavy partying, rock bands, booze, drugs, women; you name it they are into it. Larry planned to meet up with members of his chapter and head out to the party. Unlike the rest he was going to get out before sundown when things got crazy. You see Larry was sober. He started Sober riders after tiring of meeting in the basement of churches twenty years ago. He has watched his group grow to several chapters and hundreds of men who have found their way out of "the life".

Larry was a self admitted crack head heroin shooting crazy white boy who had a spiritual awakening. He found God at the bottom of a crack buzz and realized there was a God shaped hole that none of the drugs, women, violence or lifestyle could ever fill. Larry was still a crude swearing crazy white guy but one who had found God. He was comfortable talking to us about Jesus but I am not convinced he truly knew him.

Just before he breezed away and hopped onto his roaring Harley he shared his opinion on why violent crime was down in LA. Ex gang bangers were hired as counselors to help pull desperate children up out of the life. Not degreed folks that no one would relate to, they were all fired. Was his story true? I don’t know. What haunted me was a quote he shared to drive home his point.

“Who you gonna get our redemption from, a shiny preacher or someone in the trenches?”

And with that he was gone, on his way to Palm Desert, his brief stop at Starbucks in Rancho Cucamonga a fading memory.

Who you gonna get redemption from...

Father
Your ways are a mystery to me
You put people in my path to share a lesson
Yet I am like the disciples often unable to see what you want me to
this day I am humbled by Larry
I praise you father for this encounter
Could it be that Larry was an angel crossing our paths
I won't know this side of heaven
For now I am in content in you
Content to know that you have a plan for my life
A plan that you reveal to me one bit at a time
Your love and patience are beyond my understanding
I am humbled Father
I praise you

In your Son's victorious name I pray
amen

What is your story? Part II

2007-10-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today I will continue on with points 4 and 3. Again this is a story that God is revealing to me real time. I share it with you as is becomes clear to me. It is a story of maturation in Christ and a story of love and faith. It is a story that will allow me to become even more resolute in doing God’s will with love and humility in this world. One day I will walk across the room to a stranger, a non believer and ask in love, if he knows our Savior Jesus.

Acts: Point 4

Last Tuesday morning I was hit with a profound revelation. Those of you strong in your faith will find this to be rather obvious. No doubt a duh!!! might be thought or even spoken. But all of us have moments where even the most elegantly simple concept has mystified us for some time only for us to finally get it. The Holy Spirit is a real being. Yes, did you know that? I really had never considered that he was. He was always a mysterious ghost like thing that you called upon to help someone in need.

Tuesday morning in a men’s leadership class our pastor stated that the Holy Spirit will prompt us to act in accordance with his will. We being dough head men will often say nah! This (my) way is better. The spirit will let us proceed, of course, taking us ever further away from his will in our lives. I heard our pastor say (it may have been early, he may not have said this but) the spirit’s feeling would get hurt. Let’s not debate whether this could be true or not. The point of the matter was that somehow God revealed to me that the spirit is one of three important beings in our Triune God. I never considered this, never recognized that I was treating the Holy Spirit as more of a tool than a part of my God.

This evening I prayed to the Holy Spirit to forgive me. I invited him fully into my heart as an equal member of my God. It was a powerful yet humble prayer. I was aware of how much I have missed out on by not recognizing this basic fact, not honoring God fully. Today this changed. I was aware of his presence, a subtle sensation / awareness came over me. I immediately lifted up in prayer several loved ones who I knew to be in need of prayer. With more conviction and release than I have ever known I lifted each up in prayer knowing that this powerful being was listening and would act on this authentic prayer.

Praise you Lord for revealing this ignorance in me so that I might repent of it and connect more powerfully with the Holy Spirit.

I can only imagine what might have been had I recognized this earlier. All those subtle whispered messages over the last number of years. Where had they come from? The Holy Spirit of course. If only I had tapped his power earlier, what good might God have done for his people?

Can you imagine what the Holy Spirit must have been thinking? Here is this dope that sometimes listens to my voice. Sometimes he even acts on what I share with him. All the while he has no idea I am real, I am God. He insults me with his ignorance but still he tries to listen he tries to ask me to act in others. What a knuckle head, maybe one day he will get it! Tuesday was that day. Praise God, Praise you Holy Spirit!

So when you pray, when you ask the Holy Spirit to act in the lives of those you pray for, do you realize he is God a member of the Trinity?

Mark: Point 3

For the past five months I have become a part of my churches outreach into the poorest part of south Fontana California. Each month we set up at a local Christian Church and care for people. I discussed this in detail in the first post on this blog Em-Manuel. It did not take long for this activity to become something I looked forward to. It is to a point now where if something were to conflict with this activity I would decline it. This outreach is too important to be missed. Manuel has become a friend I pray for regularly. David, Don, Dewayne and Mike have all changed me. Getting to know men in humble desperate circumstance leaves its mark.

For me every drop of sweat, every twinge of pain, every word of prayer is magnified. It is a moment of consciousness of my role in the Kingdom of God. It represents my opportunity to be a working healthy part of the body of Christ.

There is more to the story though. I shared a few posts ago of the passion I have been given to lead, this heavenly gift is a calling upon my life. There are two models of leadership I breathe. The first is servant leadership modeled after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Serving others, making yourself a confident, capable “last” is core to this model. I revel in it, for I know where my strength comes from. Unlike the worldly perspective on this style of leadership, I am no door mat. I say this not out of pride but out of confidence in the Lord and the gifts he bestowed upon me. Would you call Christ a door mat when he tore up the money changers tables in the temple square? Hardly! There is a quiet deep strength in this form of leadership.

The other model of leadership I breathe also originates from my faith; transformational leadership. Helping others to transcend their individual circumstance to achieve something beyond their individual capabilities, this is transformational leadership at its best.

Why do I share these two models with you? Well they relate to the transformation occurring within me. My role as a servant in this activity has created a hunger to do more for God, but it has also lived out the scriptures. My zeal to do God’s will to make myself last has led to an opportunity to take a leadership role in this outreach on behalf of my Church. According to one of our church elders it was the very fact that I served with joy that led him to ask me to help lead. It’s not about me, it is about God being true to his word in Mark. 10:44

Whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all. Mark 10:44

Please understand I do not seek to be first, actually I am absolutely happy to stay toiling in obscurity. But God will always raise up those who are true to his word. I suppose this happens to be me in this story. Praise God

Father continue your work in me

Guard my heart, protect me from the evil one

I praise your name for the revelation you gave me this week

I praise the Holy Spirit and all he does in this world

Use me fully father to further your kingdom

I am your servant

There is no greater work than to do your will

Use me

In your son's holy name I pray

Amen

What is your story?

2007-10-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

So what is your story of salvation? Do you know it? Are you saved? Is your eternal future secure?

Heady questions aren’t they. These are the things of spiritual giants; those fearless souls who, to quote Bill Hybels, will walk across the room and ask you. Imagine.

How do you gain that level of conviction in your heart? How do you overcome your fears of the flesh to live out real time the great commission? I really do not know.

However there has been a convergence in my heart of late of a number of spiritual truths that seem to be ready to reveal the answer to me. Over the next few days I would like to share with you what they are and how they have profoundly impacted my life. For today we discuss points 6 and 5. I am not one for conforming so we start at the end and work backward ;-) What are these truths?

It is better to be judged a fool by men than a fool by God
Loving God means worshiping him with abandon
Loving God’s people means serving them with a servants heart
The Holy spirit is a real being part of the triune God we serve
Trusting God is hard at first but obedience and discipline are paid in joy
We must always be on guard for the evil one, he will attack through your weakness

All of these truths can be traced back to a specific chapter and verse in the Bible. I cannot recall the exact location of each but I know them to be consistent with the word.

Through my prayer time, my service time, my worship time and my learning time each of these statements have been slowly revealed to me.

Ephesians: Point 6

I have learned to put on the full armor of God each day (Ephesians 6). This is kind of fun. On the top front edge of my sock drawer you will find the word peace, on another drawer the word righteousness stands proudly. On the inside of my belt you would find, Truth. On the back of my hair brush, salvation. I pray as I dress each morning that I be firm and steadfast in the Lord and that my armor protect me. I finish the prayer by taking up the shield of faith and the sword. That is another story…(point 4 that is)

Psalms: Point 5

Eight days ago I was offered a promotion in my work life I had not thought possible. You see I live my values. I have not walked a politically correct line at work; I have walked a Godly line. These two lines often clash. For this I will not apologize, my faith is vastly more important than my job. That said I have challenged people, stated my opinion (in love) that is not always welcomed and walked to the beat of a different drummer. At the same time, the Lord has blessed me with the gift of leadership. As Jeremiah put it, leadership is like a fire pent up in my bones. I cannot not lead when it is needed. So I move naturally into leadership spaces to ensure the success of my worksite. All the while I did not expect to be promoted.

In the past three months I have prayed a dangerous prayer. I want the Lord to reveal his will in my life. You name it, I will do it. I don’t care what it is I trust you, use me. I have prayed this consistently for three months. Well that was until last Monday when the Lord answered. Praise God!

I celebrated this promotion with the Lord in worship (psalm 37:4) high on a mountain range in the setting sun, Jeremy Camp leading the private worship band (ipod). Powerful stuff, not even a flat tire half way through the trip could rain on this worship. Nothing could spoil this time with the Lord.

So now I oversee a manufacturing plant with 162 employees. Heady responsibility, so many families to lead, to ensure our shared future is secure.

But then this is a Godly appointment. He is in control; I am the co pilot on this flight. I expect turbulence, I expect adversity, I expect changed lives and God to be glorified.

This is going to be fun!

I will wrap up here and continue on later with points 4 and 3. These 6 points are creating a revolution of transformation inside of me. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in mind for his story through me.

God bless you all

Ron

Life is Funny...

2007-09-29T14:38:00.001-07:00

Did you know I have three blogs? Did you know that I teach leadership development? That is the topic of the other two blogs. It is my gift, my calling. I love it when I am given the opportunity to help others grow. Other than in praise or prayer, this is the time I feel closest to God.

Did you know that my deepest passion is in this blog? I hope so, I hope that is clear in my words here. I shared a recent post with my Pastor as an encouragement for him. I wanted him to clearly know that he is making a difference for Jesus. It was a wake up call for me since I have never considered how this blog reflects my soul. I have simply opened up and wrote from deep inside. He asked me if he could share it with others. Gulp! I hadn’t thought of that!

You know though, life is funny. This is not so much my story as much as it is God’s glory. It is him acting in me that created this blog and all its content. Often I am aware that the Holy Spirit is writing for me. Really, I am not that good a writer.

My passion is for the Lord and what he is doing in this world through me. As I sit here I can think of at least three posts I am compelled to write for this blog. Sure I can come up with content for the other blogs but in this current season of my life they seem less important than sharing moments of my faith journey with each of you. May God be glorified!

Thanks for reading. It is my hope that this post is useful to you in some small way. Perhaps some struggle I relate will strike a chord in you and help you in your journey. Perhaps it is a small encouragement. For whatever it is, I praise God.

Dear Heavenly Father

For months now I have spoken to you

Asked you to heal broken relationships

Mend hearts, heal bodies, calm minds

I have asked for peace, redemption

Wisdom, love, knowledge, patience

Grant this Father

You know the depths of my soul

You know the stains on my heart

Today and every day I am an open book

I reveal to you all that I am

Search me father and know me

Correct my wrong ways

Create in me a clean heart Oh God

Renew my spirit

May all my days be in you

My hope, my life, my destiny

They are forever yours

My Lord, My God

Amen

Alright God, Tell me if I need to go!

2007-09-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

This is the final installment in the story of the mens barbecue from last Tuesday evening. After an eloquent speech and persuasive argument on the compelling need for men to worship our heavenly father, our pastor leveled a challenge. Any man here tonight who has made a choice of his own making, who knows he is not in Gods will, in God's plan, come to the front so we can pray for you, so you can repent.

If you have read my previous posts (The Trip I, etc) you will know that for several months now I have been praying hard for our heavenly father to speak into my life his desire for me. Tell me your will and I WILL DO IT, what ever you say I will do, where ever I have to go I will. Use me.

I considered my daily prayer, my petition for direction and then contemplated my pastors question. I lifted up my thoughts to the Lord and said bluntly Do I need to go to the front? Say the word I will go...Nothing not a word, not an emotion, not a hint. I stayed in place this night and prayed for my Christian brothers arms raised in prayer over them invoking the name of our father to forgive each of them.

As I walked away that evening, the queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach returned. But there was something else there too, resolve and peace. Yes I was attacked, but I had passed the test. The following day my resolve and obedience would turn to absolute joy as I worshiped my heavenly father with all my strength in song and exercise.

Father you are Holy
I praise your name above all
I praise you in the Hills
in the streets, in the dark places
I praise you now and forever more
I praise your Holy name
I praise you for your gift of grace

In your Son's victorious name I pray

Amen

Ron

Alright! The music just ended, we haven’t missed anything yet….

2007-09-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

Our pastor spoke this oft heard quote that echoes the halls of our church as the praise music ends and the announcements and message are about to begin. Busted I was. My wife and I regularly show up during the first half hour of our service during the praise portion, reasoning, its just music we have not missed the message. How infinitely wrong we have been in this behavior.

Our pastor continued to teach us this Tuesday evening about the meaning of the greatest commandment

Love the Lord thy God with all your heart mind and soul Mark 12:30

When Jesus uttered these prophetic words to the Pharisees all those years ago, what he was saying that we need to worship at the feet of our heavenly father. Praise him, worship him, love him.

These words were a revolution inside my heart. In my stoic world of maintaining appearances I often consider my surroundings before I ever lift my hands in worship. Why is it so hard for a man of God to praise his heavenly father? Our pastor continued. As he wrapped up this message he shared a stance he had personally taken. He said he would rather be judged a fool by men then a fool by God. With that as a backdrop I considered my own behaviors. Truly I needed to be bolder in my own faith, to worship like David not caring what man said or thought. What a place to be left, resolute in finding my own voice of authentic worship.

The next day I found myself looking clearly toward my afternoon bike ride into the mountains. I knew what was coming. I was not just going to pray this day I would WORSHIP my Lord and Savior. At the peak of my ride I prayed earnestly for revelation, for courage, for peace. I interceded on behalf of some many people I love who are broken and hurting. Today my prayers were from my knees, where I belong. (The Lord had conveniently blown a piece of cardboard into the location where I pray each day, almost as if to welcome me and say I know what you need today). At the end of my prayer in abject humility I tried to cry out in song my worship of the Lord. Did I mention that I suck at singing. Not only that but no words came to mind from any of the worship songs I love.

Well the Lord will provide! (Remember a few posts back where the Lord told me to listen to my Ipod? He did so again. After all there are only about 300 Christian songs on the thing!)

I choose deliberately. Mercy Me came immediately to mind. Their music so soulful, the lyrics pull on my heart. I started “I can only imagine”. Yes imagine a grown man standing on the side of a mountain belting out, way out of tune, the lyrics of a song. No one else can hear the music; no one else knows what this crazy guy is singing about, just God and me. It was awesome, tears streamed down my face as I soaked in the lyrics (and yelled them out) of this beautiful song and for a brief moment could conceive of what it meant to really love God.

The ride down the mountain and back to my house was even more powerful for me. My poor bike strained under the continuous blows of rocks sticking above the trail. The chain rattled off the frame as I sped onward, downward fully engulfed in my own powerful, private worship session. I hit the bottom of the trail at full speed and attempted to make a gravelly high speed turn as Mercy Me pounded into my ears. The tires bit then slipped bit then slipped, over the top of the bike I went landing standing up. With a triumphant yell of praise I hooted and hollered to my savior. This wipe out is for you, you are my rock, my savior PRAISE YOUR NAME!!!

The ride continued onto city streets, the music even louder to drown out the sound of the wind whipping past my ears. 20 miles per hour 25, I was on fire. I could not go fast enough, sing loud enough. As I made the turn west to head home the wind was fully against me slowing me to a crawl. I labored to catch my breath, the fire of worship was now in my thighs. (I was tired, my muscles were burning). Each time I caught my breath I would rejoin the chorus of the latest song. I would run out of breath and stop singing long enough to start again. By the time I was within a mile of my house, everyone must of wondered who the crazy bikin singin guy was. What a powerful experience. I am left to ponder what my next worship experience will be and whether I will scare the kids in the neighborhood…

"I Can Only Imagine"

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

Father I praise your Holy name

amen

Praise Him

2007-09-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

Tuesday evening I had the opportunity to attend a men’s barbecue hosted at our pastor’s house. There is something incredibly powerful about 200+ men gathering on a Tuesday after work to praise the Lord and study his word. I always look forward to this event and this time was no exception.

I had a rough day on Tuesday. One of those days where you feel not quite right. A queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach dominates your day. A feeling that foreshadows a coming storm of flu or something else. I discussed with my wife early that evening how I wanted to go to the Barbecue yet my body was telling me otherwise. Stay home rest, you will need it I reasoned. As I shared with my wife how I really wanted to attend yet…I realized GO, just go. If you really are sick deal with it later, what if this is a spiritual attack, a diversion to keep you away. What ever it was I reasoned it would be far better to deal with it when it happened rather than potentially robbing God of the glory of using me in a supernatural way. So off I went.

I have only attended my current church for about 18 months and frankly I still know very few men who attend. To make matters worse men are notorious for not being overly relational. A new guy could stand on the outskirts all night and not be noticed in most groups. This one was no different. So when I arrived I saw only two men I knew. I said hello to both, exchanged pleasantries and set off in search of food. I had an underlying goal to meet someone new this night. It was not a conscious goal; it was one of those goals that kind of whisper in your ear “sit beside someone new”. So I did. I introduced myself around the table and ended up chatting with a father and son duo. It was a friendly conversation that spanned travel, work life, area history and economics. After about 15 minutes an announcement came through by our pastor that each man should consider either leading or participating in our churches effort to see every attendee plugged into a small group. Isn’t it ironic that I, the new comer, had weeks back volunteered to lead a group and was in search of couples to join, while my new friend (the son of the duo) was searching for a group near his home that he and his wife could attend? Did I mention they live four blocks from my house?

How did it work out? Will they join the group? Will lives be changed? I have no idea. I only know that I must surrender myself entirely to the Lord's will, so that his purpose in my life might be fulfilled. Tuesday I listened for his voice and heard him. But this was not the only moment he spoke to me that night. No he was there with me that evening and thankfully gave me a few other wonderful stories and praises to share.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. Proverbs 3:5, 6

Father continue your Holy work in me

Teach me your ways, teach me your wisdom

Help me to remain open to your will in my life

More of you and less of me Father

Amen

A glimpse into my private worship time

2007-09-12T20:53:00.000-07:00

My afternoon rides up into the San Gabriel mountains are holy to me. They are the time when I pray, I intercede on behalf of others, I beg forgiveness for my transgressions, I praise our Heavenly Father, I marvel at the wonder of his creation. Most of my prayer time takes place at the peak of the ride 1.5 miles straight up toward the heavens. My prayers start either as Samuel did so many millenia ago

Speak Lord for your servant is listening
1Samuel 3:9

or in praise through the psalms of David

I look onto the Hills
From where does my help come?
It comes from the Lord
Psalm 121

The ride itself is filled with the sounds of my Ipod. Most days I listen to the Daily Audio Bible. A wonderful podcast that tracks the one year bible. There is no more important activity in my life than to spend quality time in the word. I am extremely blessed to have found this podcast in April and have faithfully listened to the word every day since. In fact my thirst for the word is so strong that I have also listened to Jan through April so that at the end of the year I will have covered the whole bible.

The man behind the DAB, as it is affectionately known, is a music producer and artist from Tennessee, Brian Hardin. This ministry took hold of him and is now central to his life. I have listened through his sickness, exhaustion, and wacked out travel schedules as he faithfully reads each day. In his August summary Brian shared some insight that really hit me as to our duty to be engaged in the realm of the spirit. We must recognize the stakes of our faith and what the enemy is trying to steal from us. I asked Brian if I could share some of his summary and he kindly agreed. I think you will find it as profound as I did.

Brian Hardin

The Daily Audio bible

I am really starting to not just look at life randomly. This is the second time through the bible here. I am starting to get a sense that we must be aware of our situation and aware that the realm of the spirit is real. Its one way or the other, I have said this before, it’s either real or its not. It cannot be sort of real whenever I am feeling partway cosmic and mystical and then most of the rest of the time I don’t believe any of it. I am attached to the physical realm and just too busy to care.

I am personally getter better about this and I have chosen to believe that the spiritual battle over my heart that is spoken of in the bible is real. I try to take into context everything that is going on around me and sense what God is saying or what might be opposed to what we are doing. I have noticed even more than ever because the Daily Audio Bible exists that part of the opposition is because of what it is. I guess me sitting behind this mike makes me a bit of a target. For the most part you cover me with your prayers those around me do and God does because this is his word.

I have become even more aware of the profound effect that the scriptures have on my life is and it is a powerful thing. It has radically changed the way I look at the world. I know I am not alone because I get emails from many of you I know I am not alone and that we are doing this as a community.

Thanks Brian for letting me post this.

Father
We come before you as simple beings
we are not always aware of the battle
that rages all around us
Our souls hang in the balance
But through your son by accepting his gift of profound grace
we are saved from eternal damnation
Father we thank you we praise you
I ask that you provide my brother Brian with a hedge of spiritual protection
Father continue to bless and grow his ministry
Let this ministry reach the whole world for Christ your son

Amen

Ron Hurst

The Trip IV: Duty and Self

2007-09-06T21:01:00.000-07:00

Most of us in North America are accustomed to having a fairly generous zone of personal space. Our personal space is reserved for a select group ourselves of course and those with whom we are most intimate. In fact one of the ways we can determine how close someone is with another is by how close they get to one another and how comfortable they are when they do so. The closer and more comfortable, the more intimate the relationship in general pretty simple right?

Well, in late August I spent 6 days with my parents and eldest sister helping my mother to prepare for cancer surgery. Because of constrained time lines, further constrained budgets I ended up having precious few moments to myself alone. Sharing a hotel room with my father and all waking moments with my mom dad and sister. This is treasured time as I consider the gravity of why I am visiting. Life is short and relationships matter. I wanted to be fully present and serve with a heart like Jesus while there.

Conflicting with this was my need to be alone. Alone time is my opportunity to pray and praise God, to intercede on behalf of others in need, to seek wisdom and understanding, to seek forgiveness and healing. Other than washroom time I had zero time alone for six days. Praying in the washroom is okay but not ideal to say the least. I can't pray with my parents their catholic roots and mindset just doesn't get my relationship with Jesus. My sister is too hurt to believe right now. But she did ask about my faith praise God...

So I struggled mightily to hold this dichotomy in check and get through this time in such a way that my parents and sister knew without doubt my love for each of them. It was a challenging time, it taxed my patience to the limit, it sapped my energy down way too low, it drew heavily upon my spiritual batteries.

You know the moment before I left after the operation was over and my mom appeared to be on the mend, my father gave me a priceless gift. As he thanked me for being there and said goodbye, his voice cracked just a bit. Just enough.

No words but I knew what he was saying "I love you son, thanks for being here for your mother and I"

If you read my previous posts you will know that this is the secret way my family communicates. No outward shows of affection, just stoic acts sometimes with the cracks of emotion that say the words that cannot be spoken.

So my mom was on the mend that day and I hoped a jet for home a few thousand miles away. Secured in my heart was the knowledge that I had honored my mother and father.

I only pray that it will go well for them.

Father

I praise you
Your healing hand
Your gentle son Jesus
Your grace
Your omnipotence
Your plans for us
Your glory revealed
Your majesty and creation
Your unbounded love

I thank you for the healing hand you placed on my family
I thank you for your deliverance

Blessed be your name in all the nations on all the earth

In your sons victorious name I pray

Amen

The Trip Part II

2007-08-29T19:21:00.000-07:00

This post was a mysterious journey for me. I started out with the idea of explaining why Jeremiah 29:13 was so meaningful to me and found myself having a brief but intense discussion with our heavenly father. The discussion and this post ended when someone seated next to me reached out to say hello. Little did I know that he was lost and in need of my help. Anyway here is the post as it was. This was an intense and powerful few moments that humbled me. In The Trip IV I will share a bit about the gentleman who reached out to me and in some future post the rest of the Jeremiah 29:13 story.

May God bless and keep you, may his face shine upon you.

Here is the post.

Jeremiah 29:13

In 2002 I had the pleasure of being a part of my first ever bible study. In this critical time in my walk I had the honor of having Fred, Chris, Raynor and Nick speak into my life in a profound way. Each of these men became a mentor of sorts as we dove into the books of the bible together. By far the most memorable book was Jeremiah. Most people may consider Jeremiah to be a dark and pessimistic book. I found it to be the most poignant revelation of the heart of God in the bible. Throughout the book you could feel the massive disappointment the Lord felt toward his chosen people. A people he had nurtured for over a thousand years. A father who became... [[At this point I was at a loss for words and prayed to God to help me finish the story, give me the right word Father, Allow me to honor you with these words. I got a different response.]] As I write this I feel the power of God saying Stop! What you want to write is no longer true. You cannot say I have lost my connection. Do not talk about the past. Instead LISTEN to the song on your IPOD

Michael W Smith sings…

Help me find the way to bring me back to you

You are all I want you are all I ever needed

Help me know you are near

Father I am humbled as I sit and try with all my heart to honor you by writing about your scriptures your holy verse you speak to me a story of hope of victory through your son Jesus Christ.

I am stunned by this revelation; our heavenly father has not spoken to me this clearly before. Just then the song on my Ipod ends and another randomly begins. (Note I often set my Ipod to shuffle and listen to songs at random it can be a fun game to see where it will go next) The next song is by Kutless, the song “Saved” I hear…

I tell you now its the only way

To be set free from all your pain

You must accept these words I say

I need your focus just this day

Let me reveal to you a friend

He’ll give you purpose and eternal life

He is the Christ and to Him I say

I am speechless.

Praise be to you almighty father

Amen

The Trip Part I

2007-08-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

Last week, as I flew off to Canada to be with my mother I reflected on my favorite book of the old testament; Jeremiah. This post and the next address this intimate love story of God for his chosen people Israel and why it is so meaningful to me.

Jeremiah 29:11

In the Christian circles I navigate, I am often faced with one of the more well known quotes from the bible. It is Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans…

What a great verse full of hope and promise full of the brightness of life and the opportunity to fulfill a life’s purpose. This is the faithful’s foreshadow of the New Testament verse “well done good and faithful servant”. I love that verse and its obvious significance.

He shoots he…is tripped?!

In my life I have not been the brightest, the most popular, the most agile, the best hockey player. I have had to earn every toehold, every acknowledgment. Affirmations in my life have been in short supply.

About 10 years ago, one of my best friends and I played pickup hockey on an early Sunday morning. This was the first time he and I had played hockey together. I knew him to be a pretty talented hockey player. In Toronto this is saying something. Everyone there plays. It was 5am in Toronto. I still remember the mist covering the ice as we cut the first blades of steel into the frozen surface. As the game progressed the friendly banter subsided as heart rates and breathing quickened, Canadians take their hockey seriously even at 5am on a Sunday morning. Even in a pickup game with no significance at all.

Since my early 20’s I have played defense. I think this started because I was, as I stated above, not the most skilled. My goals and assists were earned. My bruises fought for. My pride was always hanging in the balance. So I played defense. After several years I became quite proficient at it. I did not have to be the fastest, the strongest, the most skilled. I learned that if I used my intellect, my heart, my stamina in concert I could compete. Some days I could even win. Every once in a while I could shine. Safely locked away in the deepest part of my human heart are those few memories of soaring. (There was a time in a playoff game where we lost 3-2. I scored two goals and was a +2 playing 40 minutes of a 50 minute game. If you know hockey this is more than good. There was another time when my Farmington Hills MI over 30 team won the league championship. I was recognized by that team as one of our best defense. No sacrifice was too great that season bruise concussion, sprain; the team would win if I had anything to say about it. We did. This is my private Stanley Cup)

That morning in Toronto was no different. I worked hard to keep the stars of the other team from scoring with only mixed results. Toward the end of the game I had a break away. Just before scoring (well I thought I would) the defenseman on the other side tripped me from behind. I was enraged. It was a pickup game; there are no referees just an honor code to play the game for the love of it.

Only in hockey have I faced giants fearlessly. I got in this guys face and screamed at him. What are you doing?! This is a pickup game!!! Luckily my friend got between us and calmed the situation down. This guy was about 6 inches taller and 100 pounds heavier (all muscle) I would have lost it gone any further.

My friend said something to me on the way home that has burned itself into my memory. You are a scrapper. You are not the most talented but you work really hard. This observation was as close as my friend could come to an authentic compliment. I know I am not that talented, so did he. I find great release in the intensity of trying with all my being to win.

This worldly perspective seems incongruous with Jeremiah 29:11. I was not made to play in the NHL or even in an elite amateur league. Hockey for me is a passion that will never be more than a hobby. All the same it has taught me about the plans my maker has made for me. He gave me an ability to enter into a state of fiery passion, a capability to live in a controlled rage of energy and concentration. Yes it has at times tipped beyond the point of sanity but only rarely. Only when injustices are leveled against me or those people or causes I care deeply about do I lash out.

It took two decades for me to make the connection. Only in the past few years has it become clear. He was preparing me, giving me glimpses of what I was called for while I was far from him. He was foreshadowing the promise I had in him, if I could only submit to his will.

Fiery Passion

This is the clearest and most sought after state of my mind. I want to be on fire for him. I have learned to get to a point where I am hyper alert, energized to the limit, conscious of every detail, and fully emotionally engaged. What an elusive state! When I am there I feel like anything the Lord wants me to do is possible. What was most profound to me about this state was what it signified. This was the fire the Lord set in me to be a leader.

Through the elegant and violent game of hockey my heavenly father revealed to me that he had bestowed upon me the gift of leadership.

For me leading is now as necessary as breathing. It is not about the need to have power and control, inexplicably it is about giving it away. I love to do the Lord’s work through leading, I cannot, not lead. Jeremiah said something early in his ministry that was very much on point to this yearning inside me when he said.

20:9

But if I say “ I will not mention him

or speak any more of his name”

His word is in my heart like a fire

a fire shut up in my bones

I am weary of holding it in

Indeed I cannot.

This is what leading is to me, a fire in my bones, a fire from our heavenly father.

Father

I praise you for your revelation in my life

You are my Lord of my life

Holy one, you who knew me before I was conceived

You had plans for me before the beginning of time

Father, words cannot express my wonder at you omnipotence

Help me to fulfill the destiny you created for me

Speak to me father

Share your plan to me so that I might honor you

Allow me the pleasure of living totally committed in your will

Your will be done in this life

In your son’s victorious name I pray

Amen

Ron

The Trip Part III

2007-08-23T18:22:00.001-07:00

So much happened while I was back home in Canada. Over the next few weeks I will share with you how God blessed my life during this challenging time. For those of you who are wondering my mother’s operation went extremely well and she is recovering nicely. Praise God for his healing power and the talent he gave to my mother’s surgeon.

Yes this is part three. I wrote two installments of this journey prior to this that are not quite finished I will add them in the next few days.

The Least

It was early morning and unseasonably cold for mid august in southern Ontario. As I was leaving to take my mom to the hospital I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting in a heap on the bottom stair of the building entrance. His shoulders slumped in resignation, his cloths filthy and stained. His hair was wild and unkempt but there was something about him. I turned to walk across the street and suddenly stopped. It was as if a large hand signaled in front of me STOP! Turn Around and look at him. I did so obediently. I found myself walking back toward him my hand reaching in my pocket to find whatever money was there.

I walked up to him and asked “are you alright friend?” His response was a startled almost panicky look. But those eyes…

Have you ever looked in the eyes of another person and knew you were looking straight at Jesus? That morning I knew I was. I offered him a two dollar coin and suggested he go get a coffee. As I prepared to leave I said “God bless you my friend”

I then turned and walked to the car and caught up to my parents in time to open the door and get in. They had not seen what had happened. As we drove away I looked for him to see where he was, had he gone to the coffee shop? He was no where to be found. Under my breathe I said a short prayer of praise thanksgiving and deliverance. For I knew that my God was with me; for the difficult journey ahead. Was this guy real or an opportunity to be be faithful in giving to one of the least of our brothers?

Father thank you for lighting my path

Thank you for walking always by my side

Even when the road was unsure

You were there

Even when my frustration and anxiety threatened to boil over

You were there

When I felt claustrophobic and restrained with the living scripts of my past

You were there

You gave me hope,

You gave me peace,

You loved me even when I tried to stray

You were there

Praise you father

Praise your name, your power, your mercy

Praise your Holy and victorious name

Amen

Hello Everyone!

2007-08-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hey thanks for reading my blog.

Every time I have contemplated what to write in this blog, I have been blessed that it had less to do with me and more to do with the Holy Spirit. I write each post based on a thought in the back of my head. I am often unsure what the post will be about until it starts to come together and materialize on the page. After writing each post I leave it for 24 hours then come back for a final edit. On each one I have had a subtle shiver down my back as I read it almost for the first time. I pray that this continues and that our fathers spirit will continue to grace me.

I hope that this blog has been helpful and has ministered to you in some small way. If it has Praise God. If not I pray that the right people, those who are searching for him and maybe not even know it yet, will find this blog and will open up to God's word through these pages. I simply want to be used by him in the accomplishment of the great commission.

I am off to Canada tomorrow morning to see about helping my mother get well (See Cancer in the Hills). I hope to post while away so hopefully there will be no delays, but we shall see.

Earlier today my prayer warrior sister Joyce C gave me some verses to pray over as I enter into this time of ministry. I would like to share them with you and humbly ask that you pray for my mom as well.

Lets end this post with Joyce's prayer...

This is the Day

Good morning Ron;

As I pray for you and your family this morning, The Lord spoke and He said, go in His name and power. He has given you authority, power and dominion to speak those things to existence. Fear not nor be dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with you.

As you travel tomorrow, I pray even now that the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH WHO CAME IN THE FLESH go before you and strategically wash everything that’s not of Our Lord and Savior. From every area of your traveling path, your parents home, inside and outside and seven miles around, above, below their home also your home in your absence.

These are some scriptures:

Healing: Malachi 4:2, Matthew 4:23 & 9:35, Luke 9:11, Acts 4:22

Healeth: Exodus 15:26, Psalm 103:3 &147:3, Isaiah 30:26

Be Blessed and go in HIS POWER.

Just know that everything you do is in HIM.

I pray the peace of GOD upon you.

Joyce

If I am saved by grace, why do I still sin?

2007-08-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Sin

If I am saved by grace, why do I still sin?

Father, forgive me for I have sinned…

As a child I must have started this prayer of contrition a thousand times, usually with a Priest on the other side of a veiled confessional. I grew up this way, telling a Priest what I had done wrong, receiving prayers and acts of penance. Each time, while I felt intellectually freer, I never felt clean never felt washed in Christ’s gift of grace.

Why was that?

I think at the root of the problem is the conflict of my carnal and spiritual natures. In my heart and soul I hate sin. Yet as a human I seem to be unable to escape my carnal nature. Each time I sin I beg forgiveness I claim my inheritance in Christ, his grace and resolve to turn away to repent from those acts which separate me from him.

Create in me a clean heart Oh God and renew my spirit

Deep within me I know that Christ is doing a work in me. He is transforming me. One day I hope to be changed enough that I will begin to reflect his glory and not my small self. I see my heart and it is stained black with sin, but through the cross these stains are being moved toward the edges dissipating, lessening. One day the darkness of the edges will be all that is left, another day I will have a clean heart, a heart totally committed and devoted to God. The darkness inside will be brought to the light. While the darkness tries to hide, it will fail. All will be made light. God please speed up your work on my heart I am so tired of failing.

I find some solace in the book of Romans, particularly the end of chapter 7 and the start of 8. I know deep in my soul that the answers to my struggles lie in these verses.

Romans 7: 15-25 8: 1-3
15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

8:1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.

I see in Paul’s words that I am not alone in this battle. Most importantly my stumbles are not fatal. As I have my hope and salvation in Christ Jesus my savior, I cannot be condemned. My salvation is a gift of grace through the resurrection of Christ. Here in lies my theology, I am not worthy of it, I cannot earn it, it was freely given to me out of a sacrifice of love.

Father deliver me
Wash me clean
Only your grace and love can cleanse me
I need you today more than ever
The battle rages but my hope is in you
That you will deliver me from this hell
That you will carry me through this
Father deliver me
I am before you in the dust
I am not worthy father
Heal me
Deliver me

In your sons victorious name I call on you to deliver me

Amen

Special report: LEAD: from where you are

2007-08-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

The 2007 Leadership Summit

This past week I had the pleasure of attending the 12^th annual Leadership Summit hosted by Willow Creek Church in Illinois. I attended via a satellite site in Alta Loma CA. This is my third summit and as always I came away a better leader for attending. In 2005 when I first attended I was taken by the thought that over 25,000 Christian leaders were getting together worshiping and learning how to lead better. My previous post on Material Leadership “Are you a leader?” was birthed at the 05 summit when Pastor Hybels asked that haunting question, “What wrecks you?”

The 06 summit was good but I was not fully engaged, I was distracted the entire summit by work concerns. I felt attacked the entire summit and ultimately gave up on the second day. The speakers were awesome the interviews great. Bono from U2 (my favorite band) made a guest appearance and challenged the church to pick up its game on famine in Africa. Over 50,000 leaders took part in that summit.

This year nearly 100,000 Christian leaders from all over the globe took part in the summit. Going into this event I resolved to be present and undistracted. I wanted to ensure I extracted every ounce of value from this excellent line up of speakers. Marcus Buckingham was stunning. His humor was understated and hilarious his content meaningful. Jimmy Carter was poignant and reflective of his career and leadership record. He enjoyed laughing at the way in which people try to honor him for what he did after the presidency. He of course thought he did a good job as president. Carly Fiorina was elegant and candid, and she oozed integrity. I would really like to work for her if she takes on another corporate role.

I found myself in many other talks focusing in on delivery and presentation style. Bill Hybels second talk on inspirational leadership hit the mark throughout. A couple of others left me irritated and quietly wishing the next break would arrive a little bit earlier. Pastor Hybels first talk on vision casting also hit the mark for me. He described in detail the steps he uses to build consensus and broad based support. This was a wonderful follow up to his 05 talk on what wrecks you.

I love these summits because they cross two of my most important values faith and learning (not to mention leadership development). There just are not enough events like this one where you can praise your creator, pray for direction and learn how to engage your followers all in the same day.

Take Aways

Pastor Hybels talk on inspiration left me feeling tingly. He challenged us that if we did not know what our leadership Kingdom purpose was, we should clear our calendars and spend significant time in prayer seeking the Lord’s will and our calling. I had been doing this for the past several weeks so the advice resonated with me. In the coming weeks I had planned to transition the content of my Material Leadership blog from leadership values toward leadership purpose. Don’t you love it when “coincidences” happen?

There were many moments during the conference when something I had written in my material leadership blog or a topic I had recently prayed about was stressed by a presenter. It was as if where I had been the past few months was being played back for me, almost an affirmation of the journey. Keep it up you are on the right track.

Ya I love it when God is in the details working his plan showing the way.

Go God!

Thank you!

Ron

"Twas grace that saved a wretch like me"

2007-08-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt lost, defeated, embarrassed, beaten, worthless? Have you? I have.

The wisdom of man is the mere folly of God

This past weekend I listened to a wonderful testimony by a Jewish Christian named Judy Reimer. Judy shared a poignant story of how she was found and saved by the King of the Universe, Jesus Christ. Throughout her early life she described how empty and broken she felt. She tried to fill the spaces inside with stuff, with all the trappings of the world. She tried the altruistic route doing acts of service; she tried new age mumbo jumbo spirituality. Nothing worked, she was empty and no amount of self help fixed her. She described how instead of looking Godward for deliverance she continued to look inward to self help techniques.

I once was lost, now am found

My own story is a bit different from Judy’s. Mine has had many ups and downs. The best way to describe my story is through a game I played as a boy; King of the hill. My game was at its best in the ice and slate gray days of January in small town Canada. At recess, my school yard friends and I would gather to see who would be king of the bitter cold (icy) hill. The objective was to get to the top and stay there. Neither getting there nor staying there was an easy task. Getting up the ice covered hill required the skills of Spiderman and the patience of Job. We had to be certain not to fall since the hill is hard as well “ice”. Believe it or not ice feels hot after a certain amount of contact in one exposed location, not a great idea. Every step is treacherous. You get a toe hold, then a hand hold then reach up for another toe hold and whoosh down you go. If you were lucky you came to rest before the ice filled watery moat at the base of the hill. Our game was not for wimps, lose and you were lucky not to get frostbite for your effort.

My journey in Christ has been a lot like my old school yard game. I got over the moat pretty easily as a young Christian. I climbed the base of the hill carefully being sure to follow the doctrine of those who had climbed before me. Yet as I reached higher there was always something causing me to stumble. Whether a deposed school chum sliding down (worldly perspective) or a lost grip (personal sin), starting over was the order of each day it seemed. Yes by the way I got my share of icy soakers. Often I felt as if getting to the top was impossible, only a saint could navigate this bitter ice field.

This is my faith journey, one tenuous step up and three back down. Praise God, Jesus did not give up on me. He continued to encourage and support me as I moved onward ever deliberately, stubbornly upward toward full surrender to him.

On the school ground the hill always drew us in; we wanted to be king of our icy realm if only for a 15 minute recess. I never gave up, I always wanted to win, I kept climbing falling, climbing and falling until I turned 16. From my late teens till my mid thirties I tired of the game and walked away. Why you ask? It was not the big questions. Is God real? Does he care about me? How could a man be God? Why would God die for me? It was something far craftier by the enemy. Am I supposed to blindly follow this churches dogma? You expect me not to ask questions? To blindly accept and follow what I am told? No sir I cannot do that. So I left.

Honor thy father and mother and it will go well with you

Fast forward to 1998. I am in my mid thirties and feeling empty. I had a successful career, a loving wife, two beautiful children, a lovely home and I am empty, broken and riddled with guilt and defeat. Out of “obligation” I attended a mass with my parents that Christmas. I did not expect to enjoy it. I expected to fulfill some sense of duty a son has toward his parents. I love them, they want me to go, so I go and act polite. Little did I know that what I meant for politeness God would turn into good. In the middle of this Mass, the whole congregation joined hands and prayed the Our Father. It was as if I had been kicked in the stomach. I could feel a sensation of community, the electricity of connectedness within this congregation and new at once that was what was missing in me. The emptiness welled up and left a bitter taste in my mouth. This is what was missing, love community faith…God. I was empty and God was telling me he was the only thing that could fill me.

I decided in earnest that I needed to rediscover this concept of God and faith. I had always believed he was real, just that it wasn’t for me. In the past eight years I have re-embraced the icy hill game of my youth and begun once again to discover what it means to be a Christian. Only this time it is different. I am armed with a bible that I actually read OFTEN. God’s word has guided me these last several years in a supernatural way.

Create in me a new heart oh God and renew my spirit

But alas I am still just a sinner. Today I stand before you broken and scarred, but not lost, not worthless, not embarrassed and most of all not defeated. You see I am a new creation in Christ. He is transforming me, giving me a new heart; a heart that loves the poor and lonely, a heart that breaks over the struggles of others. He is giving me a clean heart a fresh spirit.

Today I slip on the hill of my youth and Christ is there to catch my fall. Moments of guilt have been replaced with humility and wonder at his sacrifice for me. One day I will reach the top and after hearing the words I long to hear “well done good and faithful servant” I expect my lord to laugh heartily as I come to realize I was never alone, he was always there waiting for me to reach out to him with all my heart.

Those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength

They will soar on wings like eagles

Father

Your work in me is far from complete and I wait joyfully for your spirit to continue the transformation you have underway in my heart. Open the eyes of my heart, give me a passion to serve your people, guide me on the path to righteousness. Teach me and reveal to me your destiny for me your grand design of how I can make a difference in your kingdom.

Father I love you and worship you

In your son’s victorious name I pray

Amen

Ron

Cancer in the Hills

2007-08-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore. Ps 121

My family and I live in the foothills of the San Gabriel mountain range in southern California. I am blessed to have awesome trails to ride my mountain bike on just a few hundred yards from my house. This is a joyous time for me as I can spend time in prayer and in the word. It is my alone time with God.

For the past several weeks I have been coming to terms with the recent diagnosis of my mother. She was told she has cancer, again. Four and a half years ago she went toe to toe with this horrible disease. She emerged tired and bruised but victorious, Praise God. Now however the stakes are higher. A tumor was found and will be removed in two weeks.

My mother and I are not close in the traditional sense. Her generation was not one to let you know how they feel. I learned to fill in the blank spaces. Acts of kindness and sacrifice can easily be understood as I love you. A smile or friendly lilt in a voice can mean I love you.

But now, does “are you coming to visit?” mean I am scared, I can’t do this alone. Does clinging to details about accommodations belay a loss of control? What of her fear of death? How does that play out, in prayer, devotion?

I am not on solid ground here. Much like the rocks and gravel on my mountain playground the ground seems unstable, shifting and full of peril. Each of my rides has taken on a new significance. Most days I cannot wait to get there. At the summit of my ride I stop and take in the vista. As I catch my breath I pray earnestly. Most days the prayer starts with Psalm 121. Here this psalm comes to life. I can feel his presence consoling me, encouraging me, strengthening me. Like the beat of my heart pounding in my ears, Jesus is there with me. Jesus is my rock and solid ground.

He reminds me of his sacrifice, his commitment to me. On my knees I ask for a miracle that my mother would know his power, his healing. I see this tremendous mountain range and know that it would melt before him if he wished, it would be thrown down into the ocean at his command. His power is there for each of us who earnestly seek it. Those who would do his will, build his kingdom, love him and their neighbor with all their heart.

Today I am torn up by the suffering and fear of my mother. But my trust is in him and his power. Today and all days he is the one that I seek, that I love, that I will follow with all my heart. Today I pray for a miracle, I intercede on behalf of my mother. Today I call upon the name of Christ and ask that he give my mother the chance to complete her life in his peace, in his grace, carried away with gentleness and warmth. The woman who brought me into this world I pray will go out of it another day fully in his comforting hand.

May all the praise and glory be yours

My heavenly father I pray these things in the name of your victorious son

Amen

Em-Manuel

2007-08-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I had the opportunity to work with a small but dedicated group in south Fontana. Perhaps you have never heard of south Fontana. It is a hot arid place on the edge of the deserts of southern California. Here you find blistering heat in the summer and poverty year round. This is a place of desperation. This is a place where generations of Americans go without health care; without most of the things that you and I hardly think about. Here people consider where their next meal will come from and whether they should eat or pay their rent. This is a place of desperation.

When I was sick…

For one day each month this changes. A small group of Christ followers congregate at a local church and do their level best to serve these same people. A mobile medical unit comes and sets up shop providing basic medical care for all who show up. They work tirelessly all day ensuring that these people see the hope of Christ through their eyes.

When I was hungry…

Our group brings in a truck full of food. I have the pleasure of organizing the packing of 100 boxes of food for the people. There are so many wonderful moments in this time. Each moment is a blessing, everything from small aches of joy in the small of my back, to the electricity of the opening prayer, to the intimacy of listening to a hurting broken brother or sister. I praise God for the opportunity to be in these moments fully alive for him and his church.

When I was lonely…

There are games, music, puppet shows, bouncers for the kids. This is a time for community to be built and strengthened, a time for new bonds of friendship to be planted.

Go amongst all the nations and proclaim the good news…

This day I asked a new friend "Manuel" a question. Do you believe that Christ died for you and loves you? Any evangelist worth his weight in salt might think this is no big thing. It was, Saturday marked the first time, praise God, that I asked another person this question. At least the first person where the answer was not known. The Lord is doing a work inside my heart. He is opening me up to the lonely and the poor, he is gracing me with a glimpse of his ability to see his people as he does.

Speak Lord for your servant is listening…

Father I praise you, I love you and I thank you. I ask that you open the eyes of all the peoples of this earth to the suffering, pain and loneliness that surrounds them like a sea. I ask that you bless them and teach them to see how they can make a difference for you. Father I pray that you will use me fully, make me a vessel of your peace of your grace and healing. Here I am father use me.

In your son’s victorious name I pray

Amen